I watch The Nate Berkus Show every day (for some reason), and obviously one of their go-to segments is the home makeover. Generally, the segments are introduced by a husband, who’s appealing to the show to make over a room for his wife. These guys produce these effusive testimonials about the women who are the proposed beneficiaries — that they’re loving and hardworking and “do everything for everyone else” and are so busy being living saints that they never consider the importance of letting their homes rise to meet them.
Sometimes, during these segments, I make myself laugh by imagining the copy Dave would submit to try to get me a room makeover from Nate.
“My wife Tara is a dick most of the time. She’d like a new bathroom, though.”