Joss Whedon's S.H.I.E.L.D. Series, Predicted
"Was that Iron Man who just left?"
Because ABC is run by trades-reading experts who enjoy making money, its executives have ordered a TV series from Joss Whedon (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Firefly) based on S.H.I.E.L.D., the secret superhero...agency? Club? Guild? showcased in Whedon's absurdly successful feature film, The Avengers. It hasn't been so long since superhero TV series like Heroes, The Cape, and The Bionic Woman (reboot) disappointed their audiences (and since Wonder Woman was killed before it even began). It also hasn't been so long since Whedon's last TV series, Dollhouse, barely wheezed its way to a buzz-free second season before expiring. Nevertheless, Superheroes + Whedon = $$$$$$$. That's just science. So because we can safely assume that S.H.I.E.L.D. will not only get picked up, but will last for a full season, here are some episode titles and story suggestions Whedon can feel free to use.
"Drop The Mike" (Pilot)
When he needs to appoint a deputy to manage the office when he's scouting new recruits on the road, Nick Fury (a pre-taped Samuel L. Jackson) Skypes in to interview -- and hire -- Mike Savage (D.B. Woodside), a no-nonsense insurance adjuster who's worked his way up to middle management and is looking for a new career challenge. And the challenge comes quickly: Mike must supervise as Thor's cousin Hrothlan (Matt Lanter) takes on Loki's new protégé, Thrinn (Spencer Treat Clark).
"Stark Reminder"
While Tony Stark is on vacation with Pepper, Alex Stark (Eddie Cahill), Howard Stark's secret love child, shows up at S.H.I.E.L.D. with a letter of reference from Tony and a lucky bit of news: he's the perfect size to fit into Tony's spare Iron Man suit -- an early prototype in orange and blue but otherwise just as useful and functional as Tony's! Alex has a few hiccups learning how to use the suit, but when a rival weapons manufacturer from Latvia starts testing new products on Staten Island, Alex literally rises to the occasion.
"Widows And Orphans"
Natasha Romanoff's half-sister Svetlana (Britt Robertson) -- a.k.a. Widowmaker -- approaches Mike with a tricky situation: one of her Brighton Beach neighbors has asked Svetlana to care for her son Yuri (Trevor Gagnon), but Svetlana has a mission in Crete! Mike agrees to look after Yuri while Svetlana is away, which is when he discovers that Yuri is surprisingly good at tae kwon do. Maybe it's time for S.H.I.E.L.D. to add a Little Brother program?
"Feather In Your Cap"
We all know Captain America's extraordinary talents and physique are the result of a singular biochemical experiment...only what if it wasn't so singular? When Cap takes a long weekend to attend Bucky Barnes's granddaughter's wedding just in time for an anti-Semitic supervillain to set off a bomb on the Williamsburg Bridge, Mike learns that Gordon "Captain Canada" Mikalchuk (Shawn Ashmore) is ripped and ready for action.
"Smash Hit"
Unbeknownst to Bruce Banner, his former part-time lab assistant Juliet (Eliza Dushku) was also affected by Gamma rays when he had his unfortunate accident, and she comes to the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. when the barista puts whole milk in her latte, and she grows to four times her normal size and goes rampaging through Times Square. Can Mike help Juliet to control her emotions in time for her to ace her audition for the lead of a new Broadway musical about Princess Diana?