American Horror Story Stops Telling Us About Stevie Nicks And Shows Her To Us, At Last

A Coven Of Bitches

Even though it's clear to everyone in the audience that Marie and Fiona were destined to become best frenemies, Marie is still not that psyched about being in a position to let Fiona see her "weakness." Fiona thinks Marie is referring to her grief over losing...you know every single person Hank massacred at the salon. But what Marie describes as her weakness is something else entirely: "It's your kindness that has touched my soul." YOUR SOUL, YOU SAY? INTERESTING. I'LL GO AHEAD AND KEEP THAT IN MIND.

Papa Don't Poach

How does Marie keep her youthful good looks after 300 years? With a little help from her friends (in the other world).

Baby On The Lam

Alert Type: Kidnapping Alert.

Issue: Papa Legba wants to take his annual payment for Marie's immortality in the form of a sacrificed baby, so she has to steal one from a local maternity ward.

Complicating Factors: Though Marie is able to enchant the charge nurse and get out with a baby, a couple of security guards try to stop her, so then she has to do a spell on them so they shoot each other. Then, back at Miss Robichaux's, Nan hears the baby and confronts Marie about it.

Resolution: Marie and Fiona decide that Nan is enough of "an innocent" to satisfy Papa Legba's request, and, as the episode's about to end, kill her for him instead.

Spoiler: Papa Legba's not really that thrilled about the substitution, but accepts it in the end, and even comfortingly tells Nan, "You will find the other side is filled with treats for a girl like you."

Hanks For The Memories

Cordelia, Fiona, and Marie are sitting around the kitchen half-watching a news report on Hank's attack when Cordelia starts self-flagellating. She says that she'd told him she wanted a divorce, and that he wanted to be a hero. But then Marie's like, nah, he was a witch hunter, and I hired him. She says he'd bragged about his access to the coven and that his mother-in-law was the Supreme: "He hated your ass." Fiona stalks over to the sink, and then stomps back to the table and smacks Cordelia hard enough to knock her off her chair. "You married Hank to prove some childish point, and brought a viper into this sacred house!" Marie tries to defuse the tension, but Fiona's still in a rage: "Witch hunters never act alone. They are part of an ancient order of men whose sole purpose is to rid the world of witches, black or white. Now, we don't have to waste our time with worker bees. What we have to do is to find the hive." Oh shit. Look out, hive.

See You Next Thyme!

The remaining Miss Robichaux's Class of '14 deal with the loss of one of their own in their typically thoughtful and sensitive way.

Any Requests?

As Stevie performs a stripped-down "Rhiannon" for Misty (and Cordelia and Fiona, but mostly for Misty), Madison decides to be a bitch about it.

Scenes From A Shawl

The Symbol: Stevie's shawl.

The Scene: Misty asks if she got the twirl right, and Stevie says it was perfect, but gives her a direction so subtle that any normal person would never be able to tell the difference.

Then Stevie takes her own shawl — the one she had draped over the bench when she was playing — and wraps it around Misty's shoulders, telling her, "This shawl has danced across the stages of the world, and now it's yours."

The Meaning: Stevie is passing all her magic down to Misty!

We've Said It So Many Times That The Word "Supreme" Has Lost All Meaning!

After the shawl ceremony, Madison bitches that Misty is undeserving of being the Supreme because she can't even read. Nan says that she could be the next Supreme, and that her powers are growing: now she can do mind control! She proves it by making Madison stub out her cigarette and then (almost) stick it in her vagina! But Zoe stops her.

Zoe snittily reminds Madison that she can't be the Supreme due to her heart murmur, but Madison says that she doesn't have one anymore, and Nan confirms that it's true!

Madison says she wants to face off against Misty in a Seven Wonders showdown and see who the real Supreme is! (Probably not the one who still has a big scar on her neck from when she was dead when the other one got burned alive and still has a porcelain complexion.)

Outfoxxed

Having determined, thanks to Cordelia's sleuthing, that "Hank Foxx" was actually the scion of Harrison Renard, of the Renard dynasty (a family who started out as furniture builders in Colonial Salem but segued into witch hunting), Fiona and Marie put together a cute little maze, surround it with cash, and put mice in it, thus enacting a spell that puts Renard's Delphi Trust at the center of an SEC investigation and loses the company half its value in a mere ten minutes. Take that, the 1% who are also in the business of eradicating witches!

But Mooooooooom!

Poor Cordelia. Even though she was the one who found Harrison Renard, Fiona won't let her pitch in on the anti-Renard effort, since it was sort of her fault that all of this happened in the first place. "You can't help me," says Fiona. "You can't help anyone. You're worthless. Hopeless. Get out of my sight." Awkward.

If you're living in a haunted house filled with all manner of bad, very bad, or really terrible mojo, you can't count on mere sage to clear out the bad spirits and evil intentions. Try rattleviper sperm incense! It smells terrible. And it works.

A Price Above Babies

The rattleviper sperm incense having put Fiona in a contemplative mood, and she asks who granted Marie her immortality. "I sold my soul to Papa Legba," Marie replies, and tells Fiona how it happened: when Marie was young and pregnant, she decided she didn't believe in death, and thought she was invincible. Papa "heard," and showed up to offer her eternal life, if she'd just give him his payment every year. She thought he was going to demand sexual favours...but no, he took her baby. And apparently more and more babies on an annual basis. And like, okay, that's rough on the babies. But have you seen Angela Bassett's skin? THAT BROAD IS FIFTY-EIGHT.

Tricky Trick

Apparently, Madison has abandoned the idea of facing Misty in a Seven Wonders-off. Instead, she lures Misty away from Miss Robichaux's and into a cemetery so that she can prove she's just as powerful as Misty is: she enchants a corpse, who wakes up, alive, and starts wandering around the cemetery. Madison says this should convince Misty that, when Misty becomes the Supreme, Madison won't come sniffing around for favours because Madison's own powers are just as great: "I just want to be your friend." But THEN she tells Misty, "Now lose that ugly shawl." Misty can't believe that Madison would even suggest it, but Madison says that Stevie probably has a whole "bargain bin" of identical shawls that she keeps just to distribute when she needs to make someone feel special. She urges Misty to "drop it in the casket — let the part of [her] that's just an imitation of some other witch die." Somehow this works on Misty — which suggests that maybe Madison actually is as powerful as she claims — and Misty seems like she's about to drop the shawl in the dead dude's casket when she changes her mind...

...but she was distracted long enough for Madison to grab a brick and brain Misty in the back of the head with it. Misty falls into the casket; the cemetery guys come out of the spell they've been under and put it into the crypt; and Madison saunters off with Stevie's shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Seems like it should be full enough of Stevie's white magic to come to life and strangle Madison, but what do I know?

Joan Ramsey, 1955ish-2014

Oh, Joan. It would have been one thing if you'd just smothered your son to death out of fear that he'd come out of his coma and narc on you for killing his dad with a bee sting: as you well know, you happened to move onto a street where practically no one actually stays dead once they're killed. But you had to go ahead and have Luke cremated so that none of the witches could bring him back to life, and that's what ended you. See, Nan loved Luke. And Nan has mind-control powers now. So even though neither she nor any of her friends could revive Luke once he'd been turned into dust, she was able to make you drink bleach, which feels right. "You have to be cleansed" seems like the perfect last sentence for you to hear.

Entering A Volatile Soul Market

Who called the meeting? Fiona, by putting out a few lines of cocaine on a little mirror to attract Papa Legba.

What's it about? She wants the Marie Laveau immortality deal — and, I mean, the time is definitely right; at this point giving Cordelia to Voodoo Satan would be no problem for Fiona.

How'd it go? It starts promisingly. He offers "freedom from death," and she says she needs him to explain exactly what that will mean: "Life everlasting? No aging? No decrepitude? Forever?" He's like, totally. He asks if she'd be prepared to cripple her daughter, or kill an innocent or someone she loves, and she's like, you bet. Then she tells him to seal it, and he withdraws, saying the deal is off: "You have nothing to sell. You have no soul." OH SHIT!