If I Live To See The Seven Wonders...

Stevie!

As Stevie Nicks wanders through the house singing "Seven Wonders," we see how the remaining covenites are preparing for the big test.

What's On The Menu For The Last Supper Before The Seven Wonders?

Symbolism With A Good (On The) Nose: Myrtle informs the girls that Leonardo da Vinci — "who [she's] certain was a warlock, though it's never been proven" — depicted grilled eels, bread, and wine in The Last Supper, whereupon we pull back to see that they're all sitting on the same side of the table, in case we don't get it.

Caviar From The Caspian Sea: Would Myrtle dare serve anything less luxurious?

A Side Dish Of History: Normally, the Supreme identifies her successor, but since Fiona didn't, this is the first time in the coven's history that there have been four candidates standing for the Supremacy.

Toast: "Childhood is over, my girls," says Cordelia. "Put aside fears, reservations, and petty things. Kick ass tomorrow."

Notable Events Of The First Three Seven Wonders Tests: Telekinesis, Concilium (Mind Control), And The Descent Into The Nether World

• Misty makes Queenie slap herself.
• Queenie makes Misty pull her own hair.
• Madison makes Frankenkyle kiss her while Zoe watches.
• Madison makes Frankenkyle lick her boot.
• Madison makes Frankenkyle kiss Zoe with boot mouth and then choke her.
• Cordelia ends the test by throwing Frankenkyle into the corner, magic-wise.
• Zoe's personal hell turns out to be Frankenkyle breaking up with her on a loop (lamest hell?).

Misty Day, 1990-2013; 2013-2014

Misty wasn't sure at the start of the Seven Wonders whether she really wanted it (even though "It's not about want; you either are or you aren't the Supreme," per Cordelia), and maybe she should have trusted her gut, because the Descent Into The Nether World brings her to her personal hell: stuck in an endless loop of reviving her frog in a high school Biology class, being ordered to dissect it anyway, bringing it back to life (while she sobs), and starting the cycle anew. She'd been warned that if her soul didn't make it back into her body by sun-up, she would die, and, alas, that is what happens: as Cordelia cradles Misty in her arms, Misty's body crumbles into dust.

Goodbye, Misty. This sucks because you were obviously the best one and the rest of them are bullshit.

From Tags To Stitches

What's the game? Transmutation Tag.

Who's playing? Madison, Queenie, and Zoe.

What's at stake? The Supremacy!

Who wins? It seems like everyone wins, since the three of them all more than prove they have transmutation abilities as they zip around the house and the lawn, giggling.

Then Zoe has to ruin everything by impaling herself on the spikes atop the house gate.

Soooooooo...it ends in a Madison/Queenie tie.

This Blows

Who called the meeting? Cordelia.

What's it about? Zoe's recent violent death has presented a natural segue to the next test: the Vitalum Vitalis (balancing the scales of life and death).

How'd it go? Bad. Queenie gets the first chance to breathe life back into Zoe, but it doesn't work, which means Queenie's out of the running towards becoming America's Next Top Coven Supreme. Cordelia tells Madison to do it. Madison asks if she'll be the next Supreme if she does it, and Cordelia tightly says it will mean they can continue with the Seven Wonders. Rather than revive Zoe, Madison proves she has VV powers by killing a fly and then bringing it back to life. She sticks to her convictions with regard to bringing Zoe back to life (and thus reviving her competition), which Myrtle says proves that Madison doesn't deserve to be Supreme. Madison snaps that deserve doesn't have anything to do with it, and maybe Fiona was right to walk away from the coven and Madison's going to do the same: "Either crown me, or kiss my ass."

There Is Another...

Myrtle and Cordelia are so dispirited at the thought that the destined leader of their coven is fucking MADISON that Myrtle has another idea: what if it's Cordelia? And that's the real reason Fiona was such a bitch to Cordelia all her life — she knew that Cordelia would replace her one day, so she tried every way she could do destroy Cordelia's confidence? Cut to Cordelia handily doing the first four tests with ease. Cordelia's like

Madison's like

Don't Leave The Coven Right After You Basically Killed The Watchdog's Girlfriend

After matching Madison Wonder for Wonder, Cordelia moves on to Divination, and barely breaks a sweat locating a former Supreme's brooch hidden far away on another floor. Madison tries to do the same, but when she strikes out three times, she's out of the running, and reacts in classic Madison style: throwing a shit fit. She storms out of the room making vague threats about exposing the coven to TMZ, and stomps upstairs to pack her shit in her enormous Vuitton trunk. What she hadn't considered is that although Frankenkyle was goosed (by Fiona) to be the watchdog for the coven, once she declared her intention to leave said coven, he no longer had to consider her under his protection, and thus was totally clear to get revenge on her for causing, through her inaction, Zoe's death. So, pretty much, when Frankenkyle chokes the life out of Madison, it's kiiiiiiiiind of her own fault she's going to spend eternity singing "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" while being fifth-billed to Carrie Underwood.

Butler Buddies

Dear Leader

After defeating Madison on Divination, Cordelia lets Madison throw her tantrum, and uses her absence to go kill it (as it were) on Vitalum Vitalis, bringing Zoe back to life. And with that, the Seven Wonders are complete, and the coven has a new HBIC, complete with "glowing, radiant health," by which I mean her old eyes back. Victory never looked so blonde!

Falling On Your Stake

Who called the meeting? Myrtle.

What's it about? Cordelia's Supremacy.

How'd it go? Exactly as it should. Now that Cordelia has gone public as a witch in a TV news interview and invited any and all prospective students to come find her, Myrtle wants to make sure that her Supremacy doesn't proceed under a threat of scandal. So because Myrtle grievously harmed other witches (to wit: digging their eyes out with a melon baller), there's an established punishment. "You want to be burned at the stake?" asks Cordelia. "Again?" "Want has nothing to do with it," says Myrtle. She wants her death to mean something. Cordelia is horrified at the thought of killing the woman she considers her "true mother," but Myrtle stands firm: "You cannot be a hypocrite. I won't stand for it."

Goode Girls ≠ Gilmore Girls

As girls line up around the block waiting to be admitted to Miss Robichaux's, Cordelia tells her new Council members, Zoe and Queenie, that she has one last thing to do before opening the doors: turns out, she needs to deal with Fiona. Even though we all thought that Fiona got all axed up over her plane ticket treachery, it was all a ruse: she explained that, despite what Cordelia had told him, she was just blowing town for a little while. If Cordelia believed her to be dead, she'd go through the Seven Wonders and determine Fiona's successor, whereupon Fiona would return, kill the Final Girl, and reign again, her health restored, I guess? So she planted false memories in Axe-Man by spitting into his mouth, and let him sacrifice himself, on the vague promise that it would only be temporary. Anyway, even though now it seems like Fiona's come back to kill the new Supreme, Cordelia, it turns out that she recognizes Cordelia will only truly live once Fiona is gone: Fiona hands Cordelia a knife and urges Cordelia to kill her. But Cordelia hugs her instead: "You're scared, maybe for the first time in your life. No power. No magic. Just a woman, facing the inevitable. A divine being, finally having a human experience. No one can help you, Mother. You have to do this alone. And the only way out is through. So feel the fear and the pain. Let it all in. And then let it all go." And then Fiona dies in Cordelia's arms. Better late than never? (I guess that sentiment applies both to their managing to be a loving mother and daughter AND to Fiona's death.)

Catfished

Immediately after collapsing in Cordelia's arms, Fiona wakes up (all her hair restored, and looking the healthiest we've seen her) in bed in a very humble farmhouse. She has no idea where she is and is not at all pleased to see Axe-Man walk in with a couple of catfish on a line, and when he tries to bring her around with some suggestive bawdy talk, she smacks him and he smacks her back. Long story short: her personal hell is the very farmhouse fantasy retirement he'd tried to sell her on, and she wakes up in it every morning with no idea where she is, and serious disappointment when the facts become clear. And I guess his personal hell is to have his fantasy of serenity and relaxation ruined by this crabby bitch. Well, you both made your crappy four-poster bed what with all the people you totally murdered, so...enjoy. (Good job, Papa Legba.)