How Marie Laveau Got Her Groove Back

"I Have Faith In The Future"

So says one of Marie Laveau's (Angela Bassett) hairdressers in 1961, who's just told the salon that she's enrolled her son in a white school. After all, President Kennedy's in office: what does anyone have to fear? Nothing, right? Wrong: JFK's presidency did not actually lead the White Citizens' Council to disband, and three of its representatives chase down the hairdresser's son and lynch him. "Well, that I will not stand for." - Marie (paraphrased). And if you've spent this whole New Orleans-set season anxiously waiting for a voodoo spell to conjure some zombies, I'm sure you'll agree that their best possible use is as the avenging army that violently AND I DO MEAN VIOLENTLY delivers retribution to these ignorant (actual) monsters.

The Private Life Of Spalding

You might wonder what vices a mute butler indulges in, but wonder no more: Spalding (Denis O'Hare) is into throwing tea parties -- with actual tea -- with selected members of his quite extensive doll collection. Normal stuff.

Queenie, 1994ish-

Oh, Marie! You thought you sent your best guy to take down Mme. LaLaurie (Kathy Bates). But you didn't count on the bravery/horniness of novice witch Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe), who literally put herself between Madame and the Minotaur and got gored for her troubles. (She may have also got off; only the Masters Of Sex would be able to tell from her face how far she got.) Anyway, while Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) is busy whipping up a spell and berating Fiona (Jessica Lange) for starting a war with Marie, Fiona just leans over and blows life into Queenie. Supreme Witch Power > Minotaur Horn, apparently.

Minotaur/Bastienne, 1815ish-2013

From slave to wrongly accused rapist to makeshift minotaur to actual minotaur to symbolic declaration of war. Rough life, Bastienne.

Regrets, Zoe's Had A Few

It's bad enough for Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) to bring someone (several someones, technically) back from the dead when you're not going to be available to help ease him back into society and keep him from totally murdering his rapist mother. It's even worse for her to leave Frankenkyle (Evan Peters) alone while she tries to solve all their problems by rat baiting his tuna and killing him a second time, so that he can either wander off...or maybe be abducted by Misty Day (Lily Rabe). At least he won't stick out too much on the street because…IT'S HALLOWE'EN! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Anyway, be a little more attentive, Zoe.

Battle On The Bayou

Marie is ready to go to the mattresses against Fiona and her coven!

Marie's hairdresser/junior priestess Chantal (Dana Gourrier) tells her she can't start a war with "those white bitches" because it could start up another ten years of inter-witch fighting, which happened before Chantal was even born but she's heard the stories!

Marie sat opposite the Supreme at the time, Anna-Lee (Christine Ebersole) and negotiated a truce that kept the two factions segregated on separate sides of the city! Marie was a hero!

Marie says that if Chantal isn't on her side, she'd better get out of Marie's way: "The truce is over!"

Road Dog

Oh, how nice! When Hank (Josh Hamilton) is on the road, away from Cordelia, he has a nice platonic friend to hang out with! Right? That's what he's doing with this Kaylee (Alexandra Breckenridge)?

After, Kaylee comments that she thinks people like Hallowe'en because people choose costumes that reveal what they're really like inside. Hey, what was Hank last year? Hank: "I was a monster." Cool! …Wait.

Best Frenemies Ever?

Madame is still a dick, obviously, but it shows real growth for her to be able to thank the still-recovering Queenie for saving her life in that minotaur attack. If Queenie keeps this up, maybe Madame will eventually think of her as a person!

Called To The Cauldron

Who called the meeting? For the moment: unknown!

What's it about? Three representatives of The Council (Robin Bartlett, Frances Conroy, and Leslie Jordan) are concerned about recent events at Miss Robichaux's.

How'd it go? So embarrassing for Cordelia. Before letting Myrtle (Conroy) et al tell her exactly why they've come for this surprise visit, she starts blabbing on about Queenie's assault, and then about her own meeting with Marie. Obviously, they're not here on either of those matters. Fortunately, Fiona enters, tells Cordelia to shut up, and charms Quentin (Jordan) and Pimbrooke (Bartlett), before Myrtle reveals that one of Cordelia's students summoned them. Nan (Jamie Brewer) can no longer hear Madison (Emma Roberts) and thinks she's dead!

Inquiring Minds!

As the inquiry kicks off, Myrtle exposits that the penalty for killing "a Salem descendant" is to be burned at the stake, which we should probably remember for a later time!

Cordelia tries to explain that for a "spirited girl" like Madison to stay out all night is no big deal!

Myrtle tries to get Zoe and Cordelia to say whether they think Madison might be the Supreme! Cordelia denies that Madison was manifesting any new powers, and then notices something!

"Where's my rug?"

Nan narcs on Madison for setting the neighbours' curtains on fire by looking at them! AND FIONA KNEW!!!

Kaylee, 1986ish-2013

Kaylee was a hopeless romantic, who believed the best of everyone and thought nothing of having an afternoon assignation with an attractive USDA inspector she met online. Alas, she met his end at his hand -- or, rather, at the muzzle of a very large gun in his hand that helped him splatter her brains all over the sheet in his furnished rental. Goodbye, Kaylee. Maybe if you'd made different choices, you would have had the chance to try sushi or visit San Diego.

We Used To Be Friends (Not Really)

This Looks Familiar...

Myrtle's observation that this is the second time in this coven's history that a witch has gone missing takes us back to 1971, and the aftermath of Anna-Lee's mysterious disappearance. Young Fiona (Riley Voelkel) casts suspicion on Marie, and is announced as the Supreme-Elect moments later, but Young Myrtle (Michelle Page) has Fiona's number, and tells one of the other witches that in advance of Spalding's testimony the next day, she's cast a spell on him so that he won't be able to lie. Myrtle also, I guess, thinks she put a spell on Fiona's ears to compromise her hearing, but Fiona totally DOES hear, and naturally the next thing we see is this.

And though present-day Myrtle tries to get present-day Spalding to say that Fiona was "the witch responsible" for the severing of Spalding's tongue, the name he writes down is Myrtle's. He overheard Myrtle's big mouth too! And he told Fiona, "I have always loved you!" And because of Myrtle, he cut out his own tongue! But how could she love him after that? (You know what I mean. Wink.)

The Rapid Unraveling Of Myrtle Snow

Myrtle starts flipping shit that Fiona killed Anna-Lee because she was the last Supreme, and killed Madison because she was the next Supreme, and keeps getting away with it!

But then Cordelia breaks in to say that Madison was NOT the next Supreme: "The hallmark of any rising Supreme is glowing, radiant health. Madison had a heart murmur"!

The Dead Will Rise (Again)

Evidently, Chantal decided not to fuck with Marie's plan, because she assists while Marie does the same spell we saw earlier in the episode, and you know what that means!

Nan makes a shrine for Madison, but Zoe says that Madison's not dead and that they should be out looking for her and by the way shouldn't ZOE be out looking for FRANKENKYLE?

Spalding (in doll drag) throws another tea party, and he's added a new one to his collection!

Out for celebratory drinks, Cordelia decides to try probing her mother: Fiona says she hates Hank because "he reeks of bullshit," and denies killing Madison! When she tries asking who Cordelia thinks is the next Supreme, Cordelia refuses to say, but she can tell Fiona's powers are starting to ebb!

Cordelia's just finished throwing up all her Maker's Marks in the bathroom when a robed figure throws a Mason jar of some kind of magic/extremely painful liquid in her face!

Luke (Alexander Dreymon), the hunk next door, has just shown up with cookies for Nan…

…when three zombies show up. And not just any three zombies: these are Madame's dead daughters!

AND THEY BROUGHT A BUNCH OF THEIR FRIEEEEEEEEEENDS!!!