Is Everyone Really Sure Christian And Maria Need To Start Having Children Immediately?

Why does everyone on these fyi shows think the expression is "marriage life"?

Christian's grandfather says it to Christian this week, and we've definitely heard Maria say it in past episodes, but lately it's even infected Marriage At First Sight, with Ryan R. saying it too. THE PHRASE IS "MARRIED LIFE," EVERYONE. GET IT RIGHT.

Is everyone really sure Christian and Maria need to start having children immediately?

It's not that I'm surprised Nina and Michael are convinced that Maria and Christian should start reproducing: if Gypsies are cool with teenagers getting married after having barely met each other, then obviously they also believe that a couple having kids "makes the marriage work" and "bonds it more together." It's the kind of iron-clad Gypsy logic that makes more sense after we learn, later in the episode, that Gypsies also homeschool their kids "from birt'" (to avoid marriages with anyone outside the community, but also apparently to prevent younger generations from learning skills that might lead to professional careers, or especially to show female Gypsies there's such a thing as feminism). But is everyone just going to act like they weren't pretty convinced IN THE LAST EPISODE that Maria had fled the Miller compound to return to her family? The stress of having a baby can put a strain on a marriage between two people who picked each other and generally enjoy one another's company; let's maybe think about trying to get Maria and Christian out to one or two movies before we foist them on a poor, unsuspecting baby. (That said: the more we get to see this couple interact, the less convinced I am that either of them understands the mechanics of sex, never mind whether either is interested in having it with the other.)

This is as anal-retentive as Ragini's going to get about her closet?

I gather that we're supposed to watch the segment of Ragini moving her toiletries and clothes into the master suite and be horrified by how high-maintenance is, particularly as she explains to Veeral how her tops are organized by colour, fabric, and sleeve length.

But I'm sorry, I just can't take her seriously as a compulsive monster with that crazy assortment of unmatched hangers. Have a little pride in your surroundings, Ragini, geez.

Which is faker, Meghan and Josh's pregnancy planning, or Ragini's cold feet about motherhood?

I believe that Meghan wants to have kids right away; I don't believe that, after the last episode's frank budget talk, she would be so serious about "trying" right now -- when she is still a full-time student, from what we've heard, and doesn't know if she and Josh are going to have to move to a new city for his residency -- even if he hadn't told her about his dad's plan to cut them off financially. I know we're supposed to think she's an airhead, but even she must have more sense than that, and is just playing along with a producer's instruction to make a childish ovulation calendar for the sake of the storyline.

And speaking of producer's instructions and storylines: they really could have tried harder to massage Ragini and Veeral's fertility plotline into believability. For one thing, there's no reason Ragini would have gone to an appointment with a fertility specialist if she wasn't even willing to have the most basic test on offer. For another, only the worst shithead would agree to marry someone she knew wanted to have kids and fake like she did too, only to announce her reservations about parenthood after the wedding -- and the seams on this one really show in the couple's last scene together; Veeral needs to work on his acting if he's going to be expected to sell "betrayal" in future episodes.

Were you aware that Nina has broken her silence on the issue of disposable cups?

Last week and the week before, I called attention to the fact that we never see the Millers using anything but Styrofoam cups -- still true this week.

But what you may NOT know if you don't read the forums is that Nina tweeted an explanation about this one.

@PreviouslyTV we do have glasses lol but I feel like it's more sanitary to drink from disposable ones idk lol- Nina pic.twitter.com/i9J4kAVKd2

— Michael&Nina Miller (@Michael_Nina_NY) May 6, 2015

Note that Nina had no issue with my having described her as "mean as a snake" in the same post.

Is it just me, or is Veeral's sister a little too involved in his private business?

While I think Ragini's doubts about having kids are pretend, Veeral's family's pushiness about his future children strike me as very real. But Veeral's sister, Payel, is the most vocal, from what we see, and this isn't the first thing she's butted in about: she's the one who threw the "bridal shower" that was actually a huge cooking lesson for Ragini; she also passive-aggressively confronted Ragini last week about her not having worn both the necklaces Veeral's mother gave her for the wedding reception (and, on that, I am VERY surprised that one didn't come up again at dinner). Hey, Payel? You decided to marry some other guy and not your brother. He's Ragini's business now.

This child is named Turkey?

This child is named Turkey.

Maybe if they weren't all homeschooled someone might have pointed out that "Turkey" is not a name for a person.

Can someone please abduct Maria and enroll her in a Women's Studies program?

First, teach her to read, because I wouldn't put it past this "community" to keep its female members illiterate. Then, encourage her to follow the thread of thinking that starts with her saying that while she wants children, she wouldn't want to bring another girl into the tiny, fucked-up world she was raised in: "I like girls and everything, but I just don't like what us Gypsies have to go through with the girls and the fact that they have to leave us and, you know, go live with a new family....To have to deal with the pain of losing your daughter -- it's hard to go through. I know what it's like 'cause I'm living it. I mean, I miss my family every day." You know who else makes you break off contact with your family, Maria? A CULT. #SaveMaria!