'I Wish My Brother George Was Here'

Everyone knows that "I wish my brother George was here" is a reference Liberace would often make on his 1950s TV series. What this post presupposes is...maybe he meant another of TV's most memorable Georges, including Georges that came along after Liberace had actually died!

What kind of life might the great Liberace have had if, instead of a violinist, his brother George had been a property developer, or a dry cleaner, or a futuristic sprocket jockey? How would those Georges affect Liberace's life? It might go a little something like this.

"I wish my brother George Costanza was here to take some of the heat off my heedless spending by being an even more irresponsible, generally unemployed pathological liar!"

"I wish my brother George Huang was here , because he would probably have some clinical insights, based on his years as a police psychiatrist, into why I am so controlling in my romantic life."

"I wish my brother George O'Malley was here, because he could recommend a good colleague to treat me because I feel like I'm catching everything that goes around and then I can't shake it...."

"I wish my brother George Moore was here -- he always gives such good financial advice, since he works for the SEC and is connected to so many important Wall Street types."

"I wish my brother George Sibley was here, because I prefer to keep an eye on him. He...is not well."

"I wish my brother George Jetson was here, but he won't be born until many decades from now."

"I wish my brother George Feeny was here, because it sounds like he's met an absolutely fascinating young man I'd like to get to know...."

"I wish my brother George Papadopoulos was here to settle this argument about NFL stats, in which I am passionately engaged!"

"I wish my brother George Bluth was here, but you know, he's a fugitive."

"I wish my brother George Wilson was here to tell me how to keep the annoying neighbour kids out of my yard, not that he ever really manages to do it."

"I wish my brother George Jefferson was here to glare at this sassy maid for me."

"I wish my brother George Liquor was here, because he understands that a man works hard for his trash."

"I wish my brother George Lopez was here...actually, I got enough of him at Thanksgiving."