When Broad City Has A Party, How Gross Can It Get?

The time has come for Ilana and Jaime to face a scourge that has been (literally) plaguing New Yorkers since tenement housing was invented: the apartment's got a rat. And since getting rid of it, or at least keeping it out of sight -- even the exterminator admits that it's probably dead and rotting in the ceiling -- costs $400 and thus clears out the roommates' whole rent stash, there's nothing for it but to throw a rent party. Great idea -- which, on this show, is obviously disgustingly executed; after all, the last time Broad City had a get-together, someone pooped in a shoe. But actually, this extra-grody episode spreads its revolting moments across the whole half-hour, not just Ilana's party. Let's count down the horrors, from merely unfortunate to brain-bleachable.

1. Throwing A Basically Dry Work Party

   Mandatory fun activities like work parties are generally torture. If you're going to make your employees socialize outside actual working hours, you can't expect them to do it sober.

   

   Kombucha with 11% alcohol is just not going to cut it, and I say that as someone who doesn't even drink. (Points added for showing us that Gemma's face is still slightly bruised after her run-in with ALL-CAPS ABBI.)

2. Wearing A Rat-Eaten T-Shirt

   I live in the tropics, so I have gotten used to finding bugs and tiny lizards in my home, and possibly made my peace with both because (a) they aren't furry, and (b) they don't really mess with my stuff. If I found that pests had compromised one of my garments, I'd probably set it on fire.

   

   Jaime decides he likes it! Eh, it actually does look pretty hot.

3. Serving Well Hidden Weed

   If Ilana's going to charge a cover for a party in her apartment, she knows that an impressive buffet of refreshments is key, and that includes weed.

   

   And here's where Ilana's apparent habit of squirreling it away all over her home really comes in handy. Or should I say hairy?

   

   At least she doesn't try to salvage the nugget that was up her nose...probably?

4. Kissing Trey

   Maybe I shouldn't have been so dismissive of the Komboozecha at the Soulstice Solstice party, because it loosens up Abbi enough to kiss Trey.

   

   And this just minutes after a "That's what she said" joke! She must be wasted. (Sure, Trey did porn. But we've seen his abs. Abbi could do worse!)

5. Trying To Date With This Grill

   Abbi's surprising slip with Trey is scary enough to send her onto Tinder for the first time, and she immediately starts swiping right on prospects who double as marks for Ilana's rent-seeking activities. Naturally, all the guys Abbi thinks she might match with are, in various ways, fucked up -- like the guy you're about to meet! Could my teeth be whiter? Sure. But I tricked someone into marrying me a long time ago and now he just has to live with them.

   

   This guy is single, and thus needs to have that situation SEEN TO.

6. Passing Off Trash As An Elegant Gift Basket

   Balancing out the terrible shock of the $400 exterminator bill is the delightful shock of a Larry & David (hee hee) gift basket outside Jaime and Ilana's door, which Jaime takes to be a peace offering from his parents, to whom he's just come out and who initially didn't take it well. Ilana agrees with Jaime's characterization of the beautiful basket as an olive branch: after all, it contains olive tapenade! She invites Lincoln to take its contents and turn them into the kind of fancy party snacks he's only ever dreamed of making, and all is going swimmingly...until the delivery guy returns to get it back, since he left it at the wrong address. The mad dash to fill the empty containers the basket originally contained with whatever garbage is at hand and enclosing it in a clear shower curtain liner is an affront to all those of us who enjoy gracious living...

   

   ...even before Ilana notices that she and Lincoln accidentally included among the foodstuffs the totally non-dead rat she's spent the party trying to hide from her paying guests. GAAAAAH, TIE THE LINER UP TIGHTER AND SUFFOCATE IT!!!

7. Trying To Date With This Tattoo

   Turns out there actually is someone on Tinder grosser than CornNut Teeth.

   

   We'll see you never, Swastika Chest.

8. Holding A Litter Of Baby Rats

   Ilana's just torn open the shower curtained basket and threatened to murder her rat nemesis when she discovers why it may have been nesting.

   

   Ilana. Throw those ratlets in the garbage. Then wash your hands. Then cut your hands off and ask a trusted friend to set them on fire.

9. Attending To Your Roommate's Bacne

   At least the rats -- though innately icky and destined to become ickier the older they get -- are brand-new and uncorrupted.

   

   Lord only knows what's trying to escape Ilana's body via the back acne Jaime's popping for her. Or, given earlier evidence, should we assume each of those pustules is probably filled with weed?

10. Living With This Stain

    We've had a lot of fun here enumerating all the revolting imagery this episode has assaulted us with.

    

    BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT EVEN?! SINCE WHEN CAN MOLD WEEP MAGGOTS????!???!??!??!?!?