Chelsea Handler Doesn't Want Kids

I have talked a lot of shit about Chelsea Handler over the years -- for her boringly mean-spirited "comedy," for treating little person Chuy Bravo like a walking prop on her show, and for telling what are widely believed to be lies about her age. (And I know that's petty, but her official age makes her younger than I am, and...no.) All that said, I am not so intractable as to be incapable of giving credit where it's due, and I applaud her for saying -- publicly and without any ambiguity -- that she doesn't want children. I'll let her say it in her own words:

The Conversation host Amanda de Cadenet is totally right: lots of people don't want kids and won't talk about it; and lots of people don't really want kids, but have them anyway because it's expected, or what they think is the next logical step for them to level up in life. Any childless woman over the age of about thirty who's in the public eye makes herself a target for speculation about her reproductive plans: Oprah Winfrey was still defending never having had children when she was in her fifties; Jennifer Aniston responded to the endless speculation with a parody video/Smart Water ad; and Rachael Ray's cheerful ownership of being childless by choice inspired this thoughtful (idiotic) blog post from a Washington Post contributor who felt the way Ray did for a while, but ended up getting pregnant after all and "can honestly say that being a mom has been the greatest experience of [her] life." (Cool? And...so?)

It's also nice of Handler to explain that she has dealings with kids that are enjoyable to her (and to the kids, probably, because what child doesn't like a fun aunt?). As a loving aunt and aunt-like figure in the lives of many minors, I know where she's coming from. It's possible genuinely to like children without wanting to take on the expense or responsibility of their maintenance for yourself. I mean, I like pandas too. I don't need to come home every day and hang out with one.

At the same time, when Handler gives her sincere, considered answer about why she doesn't want children, the first thing she says -- after an emphatic "I definitely don't want kids" as opposed to a wishy-washy "I have no plans" or "I don't know if I'm ready yet" or whatever the hell -- is "'Cause I don't like them." Which is a joke, but also not a joke. Before this chunk of the interview, Handler had segued from a description of her day-to-day working life and how hands-on she is to her long-distance relationship with hotelier Andre Balazs and how hard the two of them had to work at enmeshing the busy careers of two pretty powerful, driven individuals. In other words, whatever's good about Handler's life right now has not come to her easily; it's logical that making adjustments to it for the sake of a needy creature that would mess up all her nice stuff and not even be that much fun for a matter of many years would not be that appealing.

So: brava to Handler for being honest on a topic that's still kind of taboo. In order to continue holding this positive opinion of her, I will continue not watching her show.