Downton Abbey Remembers Mrs. Drewe Long Enough To Make Her Look Nuts

A Chilly Reception

Alert Type: Groomzilla Alert.

Issue: Now that they've decided they're into each other That Way and both committed to getting married, Carson and Mrs. Hughes need to start planning their wedding. When it comes up over breakfast, Lord G absent-mindedly suggests that they do it in the servants' hall, which they can decorate to look like something other than the place the happy couple spends 98% of their time working (that's me saying that, not Lord G, who would never think about something like that because he doesn't know what "working" is like). Since he ignores reproachful looks from Mary and Cora over this dreary suggestion, Mary just waits for Lord G to be distracted later and announces to Carson that of course he and Mrs. Hughes may have the reception anywhere in the Abbey that they like: she insists! (Mary proves to be her father's daughter when she bulldozes Cora's suggestions that maybe Mrs. Hughes might have her own ideas about where to have her wedding reception.)

Complicating Factors: The only person who's going to insist harder on this matter is Mrs. Hughes, who appreciates the offer of a location but...Cora is right: she doesn't want to hold a celebration of one of her life's few milestones (that's me again) at her rich bosses' house/her workplace. She especially doesn't love that Carson seems more concerned about going against his precious Lady Mary than he is solicitous of his fiancée's feelings.

Resolution: Carson says it's not about Mary -- or not only about her; while Mrs. Hughes wants to have the reception at a schoolhouse in town, Carson would rather do it at the Abbey because it's a place that's meant so much to him. He says in so many words that he's going to put his foot down on this one.

Spoiler: Carson's almost certainly fighting the wrong brunette here, and will almost certainly live to regret it (if he lives, and doesn't get murdered by Mrs. Hughes).

Pork Barrel Politics

If there's a local fatstock show coming up, Downton Abbey's agent is going to have to work on some logistics regarding which pigs get picked for the spotlight, and a certain Mr. Finch has come to talk to said agent about it. IS HE HERE?

This Plan Is Sick

Who called the meeting? The Dowager C.

What's it about? This hospital takeover shit we're supposed to care about but don't.

How'd it go? BORINGLY. Everyone reiterates the pros and cons -- improved equipment and quality of care vs. villagers forfeiting the chance to be treated in their own community -- and Isobel darkly hints that those who oppose the merger do so at the cost of future deaths. Lord G tries to get everyone to stay civil and, in the only part worth watching, The Dowager C tells him, "If you can't say anything helpful, Robert, please be silent," and he's all

Then Isobel asks why Cora's not there, and The Dowager C's all, it doesn't concern her (but really it's because she suspects that Cora's going to take Isobel's side and is trying to jam her out of the decisionmaking process). The Dowager C tries to sell the idea that this assemblage of Lord G, Isobel, Dr. Clarkson, and The Dowager C herself comprise a quorum, but Isobel orders Lord G to tell Cora that the meeting took place. OMG THIS MEETING INTRIGUE IS ALMOST AS THRILLING AS WHEN IT HAPPENS AT YOUR OFFICE, RIGHT?!

Butler Negs Are The Coldest Negs

Thomas has just finished trying to offer to help Andy explore the region around his new home and getting shut the fuck down (nicely but pretty firmly -- to wit, "No, you're all right, I like to walk on my own, if I'm honest") when the disappointment moves him to ask Carson when he's going to start giving notice to the servants who are going to be laid off in the rumoured downsizing. Rather than assure Thomas that nothing's actually been decided yet -- you know, because he doesn't actually like Thomas -- Carson's noncommittal about the alleged timing. "No, but I mean, should I start looking for another job?" asks Thomas patiently. Carson: "How could it hurt." Brrrrr. God, Carson, you bitch.

Servants Don't Get To Have Privacy, And That Includes Their Private Parts

Alert Type: Antique Gynaecology Alert.

Issue: Though Anna should be chipper as fuck now that she's no longer waiting to find out if she's going to be prosecuted for murdering her rapist, Mary's noticed that she still seems kind of morose, and very gently and supportively encourages Anna to confide in her about what's going on; Anna then reluctantly tells her about her miscarriages, and after Mary's had a chance to ponder the matter, she offers a possible solution: bringing Anna to the specialist who helped her to get pregnant with George.

Complicating Factors: It's all kind of complicated because it's olden times and no one knows much about human guts. But there's also the fact that Anna is in an olden-times marriage and thus doesn't want to confide in Bates about her efforts to get pregnant...which leads to a clunky exchange that's supposed to be funny: "Well, try and put your feet up," Bates suggests. "Yes, I'll be putting my feet up," Anna agrees. Ha?

Resolution: Mary's specialist, Dr. Ryder, tells Anna the issue is probably "cervical incompetence," and that if he's right, it might be very easy to treat: the next time she gets pregnant, she'd let him know, and at about twelve weeks, he'd come to her home and perform a tiny procedure to accommodate the fetus better.

Spoiler: This show is clearly building to a joyful ending in which Bates gets everything he ever wanted, which proves again that Julian Fellowes vastly overestimates anyone's interest in Bates. (Justice for Sybil! Never forget!!!)

Like Pigs To The Slaughter

Situation: As the fatstock show approaches, Mary needs to visit the Drewes at Yew Tree Farm to check in on the pigs, and has brought along Marigold and George (and Cora) to get a look at them.

What makes it awkward? That whole thing where Edith gave Marigold to the Drewes to raise to hide her shame and then was like "psych" and took her back, which was very upsetting to Mrs. Drewe. Cora knows the whole backstory of Marigold's time at the farm, which is why she pointedly asks Drewe where Mrs. Drewe is, to which he says she's in town but she'll be BACK SOON, so Cora's like WE SHOULD HEAD OUT, but since Mary doesn't know about any of this, she's all, wouldn't Mrs. Drewe like to see Marigold?

What timing! Marigold and Mrs. Drewe have a sweet reunion...

...while Drewe and Cora watch and pull at their metaphorical collars.

How is order restored? Drewe announces that the Crawleys should leave, and that's probably absolutely definitely the end of it!

It's Actually Assistant To The Regional Butler

Who called the meeting? A Mr. Moore.

What's it about? Having gotten a scare about how expendable he may be at Downton, Thomas has applied and is being interviewed for a position as Assistant Butler at a nearby manor house.

How'd it go? Bad. Thomas is, unsurprisingly, perfectly polished as a job seeker, smoothly talking about having worked his way up from Junior Footman at Downton and mentioning his having served in the War. Mr. Moore is dubious about why Thomas would want to leave if it's so great at Downton, and Thomas cheerfully says it seems like the right time for a move. Or is it? Turns out "Assistant Butler" is a title they made up for the want ad to cover a bunch of different tasks that each used to be done by a different person -- in addition to some butler stuff, he'd also have to perform some duties that would formerly have fallen to a footman and a chauffeur. "I can drive, just about," says Thomas hesitantly. When Mr. Moore adds that there would be valet work to do as well, Thomas smirks, "Goodness, this is a job for a one-man band." For some reason, this remark causes Mr. Moore to narrow his eyes and comment that Thomas looks delicate: is he married? Thomas notes that not many footmen and butlers are married. Mr. Moore says that used to be the case, but he himself is. Thomas:

So is Thomas not getting this job because he seems lazy, gay or both?!

Power To The People Who Work In Pastry

Still feeling (rightly) guilty about the scene she made at the Mallerton auction, Daisy has gotten the idea that maybe Cora can intercede with Mr. Henderson, the new buyer, on behalf of Mr. Mason and fix it so he can get his place back; to this end, she's asked Baxter to speak to Cora for her and try to get Daisy an audience to plead her case...but the pessimistic outlook has only fueled Daisy's revolutionary spirit!

Daisy's annoying, but that's actually pretty sophisticated thinking and strikes me right in my socialist heart. Sarah Bunting would be so proud!

Edith's Gonna Make It After All (Maybe)

I'm not sure if you remember, but Edith loved a man who died and inherited a bunch of his shit, including the post of publisher at his magazine and his apartment in London. And while any other person in her situation -- the unwed mother of a love child, hellooooooo -- would embrace the anonymity of London life and just move there full-time if for no other reason to get away from her bitchy sister, Edith's spent both the last episode and this one dithering about...everything. When Rosamund comes to pick her up at the office for lunch, Edith complains that Mr. Skinner, the magazine editor, hates her and doesn't recognize her authority, but then she also says she doesn't have to go back after they eat, so to play devil's advocate, maybe he just thinks she's a dilettante because she's acting like one? Whatever: Rosamund brings up the apartment, and Edith sighs, "I think I'm going to keep it empty, and see if I get any use out of it." Rosamund asks why she's not staying there now (that's a pretty pointed hint that you're not interested in hosting her anymore, Rosamund, dang), and Edith agrees that she probably should be: "I suppose the truth is I've never lived alone, and I'm not convinced I'll be much good at it." "Beware of being too good at it," warns Rosamund wistfully. "That's the danger of living alone: it can be very hard to give up." ROSAMUND DID YOU ALREADY FORGET THAT EVERY MAN EDITH LOVES JUST LEAVES HER IN THE END, INCLUDING THE ONE WITH ONLY ONE WORKING ARM??? Alone might be a good way for her to go. Also a life you don't want to give up is, by definition, good...right? So...what? "Whatever" is what.

Mergerers vs. Holdouts

Zzzzzzzzz...hm, what? Oh, it's the hospital fight, again, some more. In order to form her opinion on what to do with the hospital, Cora's come for a tour from Dr. Clarkson; Isobel has also come because, she says, she doesn't want Cora to "feel outnumbered." Isobel and The Dowager C have a power struggle over who will be the master of Cora's soul right in front of her, with Cora finally trying to shut them up by saying that she doesn't need them to spin her, basically: "The facts speak for themselves."

Since this spat is happening in front of patients, Dr. Clarkson suggests that they finish up in his office, where Cora says she's leaning toward merging. (Dr. Clarkson doesn't really help his case by characterizing his position as an effort to "stem the tide of change.") The Dowager C is all, "Are you saying that Dr. Clarkson is a bad doctor?," but Cora is obviously too wise to fall into that trap, not to mention that she's better informed than The Dowager C thinks: "I'm sure everyone does their very best, but there are new methods now -- new treatments, new machines! Great advances have been made since the War. Can't we share them?" Dr. Clarkson says he intends that they should, but Cora urgently reminds him, "We don't have the money!" The Dowager C tries to appeal to Cora's pride in their institution, which doesn't work either, so The Dowager C finally just sputters that she and Dr. Clarkson "will fight to the last stitch," at which even Dr. Clarkson seems to abandon Team Dowager, saying he just wants what's best for the village. Cora's pleased that they have that in common, and takes her leave, with Isobel, who jokes that they have to give Dr. Clarkson and The Dowager C "time to gnash their teeth."

Once they've gone, Dr. Clarkson sighs his disappointment that he and The Dowager C didn't get Cora on their side, since she would have been a powerful ally. "I hope you're not implying that she would be more powerful than I," snaps The Dowager C.

Winner: Mergerers.

No Kidding Around

Who called the meeting? Lord G.

What's it about? Mrs. Drewe's ongoing affection for Marigold.

How'd it go? The premise of the meeting is terrible, but the execution is, I guess, as okay as it can be under the terrible circumstances. Basically, he heard about the reunion during the pig visit, and while he's not saying that the Drewes have to leave Yew Tree Farm, he says that Cora is worried that Mrs. Drewe can't stand having Marigold so close and not being able to see her. Drewe, obviously, doesn't want to get pushed out of his tenancy, and Lord G doesn't want to push him out either, but says, "I want Lady Edith to be happy. I want Miss Marigold to be happy. And as a matter of fact, I would like your wife to be happy." In that order, and with Mrs. Drewe a very distant third, though, right? Yeah. Drewe promises that he can manage the situation...

...but can he? Long story short: Edith made a huge imposition on the Drewes when she placed Marigold with them, and changing her mind back is maybe an even bigger one, and if not for the power imbalance between their families maybe Drewe could tell Edith that her short-sightedness has had shitty consequences that she only thinks about in terms of her own selfishness. But it's olden times and the Crawleys are toffs, so Drewe is just going to have to figure out a way to make his wife love her adopted daughter a little less. Cool.

They're Making My Skin Crawley

Who called the meeting? Daisy has requested it, via Baxter, and Cora has given her an audience.

What's it about? Mr. Mason.

How'd it go? Cora knows what Daisy is going to ask of her and why -- duh, Cora was there and tried to shut her up as Daisy was running her mouth -- but she doesn't think there's anything more she can do. Daisy's horrified that Mr. Mason's losing his farm over something that was all her fault (a characterization Cora kindly disputes, but like...it's probably at least 40% Daisy's fault), and that he knows the place inside and out. Cora asks whether he might be capable of starting over, and ponders.

Daisy is immediately excited at the idea that Cora might think of a way to fix it, so the meeting goes well for her. However, since it's obvious that the solution Cora is considering is booting the Drewes from Yew Tree Farm and installing Mr. Mason in their place, it's not a good meeting for them.

Tough Love -- Tough, Floury Love

A bunch of Downton serving staff are checking out the fatstock show and related sale -- including Andy, messing around at a bowling setup. Thomas offers to give him some pointers, but Andy basically flees the scene as quickly as a person possibly could without making an actual scene. As soon as Andy's disappeared, Mrs. Patmore -- not unkindly -- comments, "You're not a quick learner, are you." "I don't know what you mean, Mrs. Patmore," says Thomas, fooling no one. "I'm only thinking of you," says Mrs. Patmore. "Just be sensible, for heaven's sake." "Does it ever occur to you that just this once you might be wrong?" Listen to your friend Mrs. Patmore, Thomas. She's a cool dude. She's trying to help you out!

Despite his doubts earlier, Mr. Finch praises Mary on the way she showed her pigs (not a euphemism) (THIS TIME)! Mary, being Mary, preens at the compliment! But to be fair, she's probably also proud that she's found a way to be useful, when everything else about her life would seem explicitly arranged to make that impossible!

Lord Merton rolls up to offer his compliments to Mary as well, and when she asks about the schism over the hospital, he says he believes in the changes! She assumes he's on Isobel's side for emotional rather than intellectual reasons, and Lord Merton insists he'd have taken that position regardless of Isobel! Mary, with some dismay, says she'd hoped that having Lord Merton and Isobel united was a sign of "a thaw!" Lord Merton says he's accepted that Isobel's mind is made up with regard to their broken engagement! Mary's not so sure! Considering how much Mary doesn't seem to want others to be setting her up with eligible dudes all the time, maybe she should have some empathy and back the fuck up!

And then just as Mary's winning First Prize for the pig she showed, MRS. HUGHES NOTICES THAT MARIGOLD IS GONE! Everyone starts scrambling, Edith immediately freaking the fuck out and demanding that no one use the term "missing" to describe her, like, is now really the time to get hung up on semantics? Soon enough, Drewe notices that Mrs. Drewe is gone and so is his truck! Edith covers, telling Carson and Lord G that they've had a message from Mrs. Drewe, who took Marigold back to the farm and out of harm's way! (Anna relays a version of this cover story to Mary, making me wonder exactly who among the servants knows what when it comes to Marigold's actual parentage!)

Gone Girl

And then, while the Crawleys worriedly wait outside, Drewe creeps into the house alone, where he finds Mrs. Drewe on the couch, cuddling Marigold. Drewe hasn't even said anything before Mrs. Drewe starts defending herself: "She was bored. They were paying her no attention, none at all." "So you brought her here?" he asks. "Where else would I bring her?" she snaps. "This is her home, and no one else was looking after her, not one of them." Sadly, Drewe says he isn't angry with her, but like...you know, she has to give him Marigold. And to the show's credit, she knows he's right and hands over Marigold without a fight...

...and then watches silently through the window as Drewe returns Marigold to Lord G, mumbling that he'll start looking for another tenancy in the morning. Lord G says he'll help. "That's very kind of you, Milord," says Drewe, not meeting his eye, to which Lord G replies, "It's not kind, it's a poor return for what you and Mrs. Drewe have done for us. I know how much Lady Edith-- No, how much all of us owe to you and your wife." I'm glad he said it, but jesus, talk is cheap, dude! Drewe, his jaw clenched manfully, tells Lord G, "Don't feel badly. We made a plan, Lady Edith and I, but we forgot about emotion. And emotion's what'll trip you up every time." Yeah, ladies and their feelings are always wrecking plans people make. Also periods.

Mrs. Drewe gazes despondently out the window...

...as the girl she had intended to raise as her own for the rest of her life prepares to go off with her self-centered mother, possibly never to be seen by Mrs. Drewe again. Lord G tells Cora and Edith in the car that Drewe has agreed to leave: "It seems very unfair, but I've thought and thought about it and I don't see what else we can do." Uh, tell Edith to take Marigold and go live in her empty apartment in London so a nice family that helped her out at the scariest time of her life doesn't lose their livelihood and the home their ancestors have lived in since "before Waterloo"? MAYBE? Jesus Christ. "I think it's for the best," says Edith, with the kind of breathtaking selfishness and lack of empathy that really makes you wonder how the viewer's supposed to be able to take her side in anything ever again.