Mr. Carson And Mrs. Hughes Are Going To The Chapel, But Will They Have Their Reception At Downton Abbey?

Get The Look: The World's Least Jubilant Bride

Mrs. Hughes just wants to get married and not make a fuss. So she's making the opposite of a fuss and bumming everyone out.

A Day Dress: It's not black, at least, like her work dresses, and Anna has said she would do what she could to freshen it up.

Nothing Else: That's absolutely the only thing Mrs. Hughes has planned in terms of her look. Um. She'll be radiant?

Strange Wedfellows

Situation: Not sure if you've heard, but Carson and Mrs. Hughes are getting married?

What makes it awkward? After Mary offered the couple the use of any part of the house that they wish for the reception, Carson was eager to accept; when Mrs. Hughes objected on the grounds that having the reception at Downton would mean having to put on a fancier affair than she actually wants, he basically overruled her. But Mrs. Patmore could tell Mrs. Hughes isn't loving the way the wedding has been shaping up, and when she and Cora recently went over menus, Mrs. Patmore told Cora that. So now Cora has called Carson and Mrs. Hughes in to force the latter to admit in front of everyone -- including Mary -- that things aren't going as she would like.

"Well, to start with, I'd like a kind of reception that's different from the ones you're used to, with a solid meal served at proper tables," says Mrs. Hughes. "But does anyone have a sit-down wedding breakfast anymore?" sniffs Mary, to Mrs. Hughes's face, as though Mrs. Hughes seems like the kind of person who cares about trends in event planning. Mrs. Hughes adds that if it were up to her, she'd invite all sorts of people to come -- not just the kind who wouldn't be too intimidated to come to a wedding at the Abbey, and follow the breakfast with "music later on, and maybe a bit of a hoolie, none of which would be suitable in the Great Hall." "Mrs. Hughes, doesn't Carson deserve a wedding in this house, where he has served this family for so long and with such loyalty?" guilts Mary, like a fucking asshole, and since neither of Mary's PARENTS is going to slap the lip off her, it's a good thing Mrs. Hughes doesn't let Mary bulldoze her, calmly replying, "This is our day, Milady. It's about Charles Carson and Elsie Hughes, and not about this glorious house or the glorious people who've lived in it. Just us, and that's the way I'd like to celebrate it." Cora kindly says she understands, and Isobel pipes up to say she hopes she'll be invited. Mrs. Hughes eagerly assures her that everyone will be, but concludes, "But it will be our day, and celebrated in our way." Lord G asks where they'll have it, if not the Abbey, and when Mrs. Hughes mentions the schoolhouse as a one-time contender except that Carson was against it, he quickly says it's fine, and both he and Mrs. Hughes take off...

How is order restored? ...and as soon as they're gone, the moment for servants to speak frankly as though they are people is gone with them. "Why did we have to listen to that?" sneers Mary to Cora. "Because I want you to stop bullying them, and let them do it their way?" Cora replies, and obviously it was (a) necessary and (b) didn't really work? "You think I'm a bully: I think you're a snob," snaps Mary. Cora:

Isobel would like to know how Mary reached that conclusion, and Mary crabs, "She didn't want the bother of a servants' wedding in the hall." Then Carson comes back in and everyone has to stop talking about him behind his back.

Hee.

It's Just A Bit Of Indigestion

It's probably definitely not foreshadowing something much much much much much more serious. It's not like he coughed!

Posh Pals

Some time after the awkward scene of awkwardness, Mary takes a quiet moment with Carson to apologize if he was upset by "that business in the drawing room." She explains that she just didn't want him cheated out of what she thinks are his "just deserts," weddingwise: "I wanted the best for you." "And I shall have it, Milady," says Carson. "If you attend the wedding, that's enough for me."

I'm glad Mary snapped out of it because I do ship Carson and Mary as buddies. Of all her overly indulgent dads, he's definitely the best.

Edith Re-Meets The Baxter

Edith's in London dealing with her magazine's bitch of an editor, Mr. Skinner, when a dude in the street recognizes her. She can't place him at first, but when he reminds her that he's Bertie Pelham, the agent at Brancaster, and that he met her there when Rose's in-laws rented it, she remembers and greets him in a friendly manner. She immediately makes shit awkward by saying that things in London are good but that she's missing Marigold -- her "ward," whom she told him about -- but then changes the subject to her magazine; he remembers that, and thinking it was "incredibly modern" of her to be running it. She tells him it's at least complicated, which is why she has to take off now, but before she goes, he invites her for a drink later; it's his last night in town. She agrees after the appropriate length of time (neither too long nor too short), suggesting a place near her office, and he says in so many words that he's going to release her before she changes her mind. Who knew Edith could flirt with a man who's both available and age-appropriate, FOR ONCE?

House Not-So-Beautiful

Thomas's job hunt continues with an interview at Dryden Park, another estate in Yorkshire. He's greeted and the door and shown around by Sir Michael Reresby, who pretty readily admits that he's let the place slide since his wife died -- and, I mean, he kind of has to say something, because it's in a state of pretty obvious disrepair and neglect.

Sir Michael had two sons, but they never came back from the War; he's pleased when Thomas tells him that he had served, saying that just what he needs is "someone who knows about fighting for his king, and for his country." I'm not really sure how Thomas's military service will be much help in whipping this shithole into a livable state -- which he'd have to do alone except for the three days a week when a Mrs. Tompkins comes in (and apparently doesn't do much, from the looks of things). Thomas, obviously feeling very sorry for this poor old man, notes that the ad had asked for someone to fill "a position of trust" in "a prominent household," at which Sir Michael assumes the highest of dudgeon to snap, "This is a very prominent household! Can you doubt it!" When he starts listing the luminaries it's hosted, Thomas gently replies, "Yes, but that was some time ago." Sir Michael interprets this as a slight on his whole class, and demands to know whether Thomas is a Republican. Thomas, UNLIKE DAISY, hasn't had the education to consider all his possible political affiliations and says he's not sure. Sir Michael says that he probably isn't a good fit for the job, then: "I can't risk a Republican in this household when anyone might call!" Thomas agrees, "Maybe I'm not quite up to it." "We can't let them down, do you see?" says Sir Michael anxiously. "When the good times return and they all come back, we must be ready. Can't let our standards slip."

Why Can't Ediths Have It All???

Who's on a date? Edith and Bertie...sort of.

Where has he taken her? She's meeting him -- late -- at the bar she picked near the magazine office, but she's actually just showing up to tell him she can't stay: she just fired Skinner for his laziness and insubordination, which means she has nine hours to finish putting the magazine together and getting it to the printer, and apparently only Edith herself and an assistant named Audrey are available to do it.

Are things headed in a horizontal direction? To the contrary! Bertie's like, "All right." Edith thanks him for being "a darling," and urges him to call the next time he's in London, but she misunderstands: "I meant, 'All right, I'll come with you.'" Edith is shocked at his willingness to pitch in, and assumes he had only suggested drinks with her because he had dinner plans; Bertie tells her sheepishly that he didn't think she'd accept if he invited her to dinner, but that he'd planned to ask her to continue things over dinner if their drinks had gone well. I like that he's willing to be vulnerable! Edith needs someone a little squishy. ...Wait, what am I saying, Edith stole a baby (back) and robbed a family of its livelihood with her shame and selfishness. Bertie, run away! You are too good for Edith, who should end up alone and friendless!

Loose Lips Sink Farms

Molesley is helping Daisy prepare for the fucking exam I feel like we've been hearing about for about three years of time in the show when she notices that he's fidgety and asks what's up with him. Molesley demurs for a second and then admits that while he was serving tea in the library, he heard the Crawleys talking about the Drewes giving up Yew Tree Farm. Daisy immediately jumps to the conclusion that the Crawleys are going to offer it to Mr. Mason -- which suggests she will at least do well in the logic section of the fucking exam -- and squeals that this news is just what Mr. Mason will need to bolster his spirits. Molesley tries to temper Daisy's glee at this development by cautioning her that nothing is definite yet, to which Daisy burbles, "No, I'll say that, I'll tell him that, but he'll be made up!" "No, you shouldn't tell him anything at all or you're going to get his hopes up for what might be nothing, you tit!" Molesley does not reply. Oh, Molesley.

Acute Neph-FRIGHT-us

Who's causing a family crisis? Wally Stern, Spratt's nephew.

How? Well, he's incarcerated in prison on unspecified charges. Or, as our old friend Sgt. Willis has popped by The Dowager C's kitchen to tell Spratt, he was: he escaped, and someone matching his description has been spotted in the area.

Which relatives have a problem with it? Spratt doesn't seem super-happy about it.

Who's an unlikely ally? Denker, who waits for Willis to leave before she tells Spratt she just has one question: "After you put him up in the potting shed, did he get away safely?"

Spoiler: I don't trust Denker for a second, but Spratt's other options are pretty crappy so he doesn't have much choice but to hope she won't use this against him in some typically gross Denker way.

Here's One For Modern Romance

One paste-up montage later, the magazine is on its way to the printer, and Edith can catch her breath after the first actual day's work she's done...I'm going to say since the War? Also pasted up, apparently? Bertie Pelham's heart.

Crimes Of Fashion

The day before the wedding, Carson brings Mrs. Patmore a parcel, which she waits to open until after he leaves. Anna is excited to have any kind of surprise to break up her dull days (I'm paraphrasing), and Mrs. Patmore explains how relieved she is that it's there: she ordered Mrs. Hughes a dress from a catalogue to wear at the wedding, and this is it! Anna's relieved too, since the dress Mrs. Hughes had planned to wear was "awful." But when Mrs. Patmore takes the dress out of its wrapping...

...it's a giant disappointment just like everything else to do with this wedding thus far. Anna tries to be positive, saying at least it's better than the one Mrs. Hughes already has, but Mrs. Patmore is heartbroken, saying it looked better in the catalogue. Anna suggests that maybe Mary can lend Mrs. Hughes a brooch to brighten it up, but Mrs. Patmore's pretty sure they're past the brooch point: "She'll need a diamond parure to make this look any good."

Journey To The Gurney

Who called the meeting? Cora, probably.

What's it about? She's just returned from a tour of the hospital in York that wants to merge with the one in the village, and she's reporting her findings to Dr. Clarkson, Isobel, Lord Merton, and The Dowager C.

How'd it go? It's supposed to be tense; it's actually boring JUST LIKE EVERYTHING THIS STORYLINE ENTAILS. Is Cora a traitor? Did she give her hosts the impression that the rest of the board had approved the merger? Also, is Dr. Clarkson still holding out because he sees "the new arrangement as diminishing [her] importance"? That last one, from Isobel, is rough, but Dr. Clarkson doesn't deny that is among his concerns. The Dowager C piles on the rudeness by asking whether Isobel drank at lunch (...hee), whereupon Lord Merton gets up and suggests that they part for now until someone says something they regret. Cora primly agrees, "In future, let's try to manage things in a more civilized manner." What this board needs is an ombudsman who can speak up for patients' rights and OH MY GOD I ALMOST LOST MY MIND AND CARED ABOUT THIS STORYLINE FOR A SECOND.

Okay, it passed.

Maybe Thomas Can Get A Job In An Estate On Fire Island

Back in the servants' hall, Carson asks Thomas how his interview went. "It wasn't right for me, Mr. Carson," says Thomas politely. "Pity," snorts Carson, because even on the eve of his OWN WEDDING, he can't take a break from shitting on Thomas. "Don't worry, something will turn up," says Andy blandly. "I expect you'd be glad to see the back of me," says Thomas. "If it's what you want," shrugs Andy. When he's gone, Baxter quietly tells Thomas, "Don't fish, especially where they're never going to bite." "You've got me wrong -- you all have," says Thomas, saying that all he wants from Andy is friendship, but that all the other servants have poisoned Andy against him. I mean, I'm kind of with Thomas? Just because you're gay doesn't mean you want to touch privates with every other same-sex person you meet; since everyone else in the house has been burned by Thomas at this point, wouldn't it make sense that he'd see his best prospect for friendship as the new guy?

But ALSO, can we cool it with the moist-eyed concern trolling everyone's doing around Thomas? We in 2015 know perfectly well that gay rights have come a long way; we get that Thomas's story is supposed to make us feel smug about how backward everyone is with regard to Thomas's sexuality -- Thomas himself included after last season's whole gay-cure plotline -- even though the truth is we all still have a lot of work to do on this one.

But ALSO, can Julian Fellowes quit seeming like he's about to let Thomas have some kind of affectionate relationship commensurate with the limitations of his job and living circumstances and the potential legal reprisals of the day and then just pulling the metaphorical football away? What we're getting with him now is repetitive for the viewer and cruel to Thomas, and either way it's a drag to watch. (And not the fun kind.)

Coat Couture

Situation: Cora comes home with a headache after her latest annoying hospital meeting to see Anna and Mrs. Patmore cheerily helping Mrs. Hughes try on one of Cora's coats.

What makes it awkward? The servants are doing this at Mary's suggestion, Mary having told them she'd talk to Cora about it -- but when Mary tried to do so before Cora came up just now, Cora was in such a foul mood that she took off before Mary could say anything. And she's still in such a foul mood that her response to this unfortunate tableau is to give a very out-of-character lecture which is about as close as we've ever seen Cora get to actual anger: "I'm surprised at you, Mrs. Hughes -- this is not the kind of behaviour I would look for from you!" When Anna tries to say that Lady Mary was supposed to talk to Cora about this, Cora snaps, "Lady Mary may dispose of her own clothes as she sees fit, but I do not know what gives her the right to dispose of mine!" Brrrrrr.

How is order restored? Anna reports the unfortunate incident to Mary, who goes to Cora's room and begs her, "Please tell me you weren't rude." Lord G tries to defend what was actually pretty horrible behaviour on Cora's part because she had a shitty day, but Cora knows she was wrong, and goes downstairs to see Mrs. Hughes. This whole time, apparently, Mrs. Hughes has been stewing about how rough it was to be scolded like a naughty child, and Cora must know because she is very sincere and heartfelt in her apology. Mrs. Hughes tries to assuage Cora's guilt by saying it must have been strange for Cora to come home and see them all there like that, but Cora says it doesn't matter: "Nevertheless, I have no excuse to behave as I did -- not to someone who deserves our loyalty as you do. Please forgive me." She has the coat in her arms and tells Mrs. Hughes not only that she wants her to wear the coat at the wedding -- she wants her to keep it, and she's already spoken to Baxter about altering it to fit Mrs. Hughes. Adorably touched by the gesture, Mrs. Hughes says she's not sure when she'll ever wear it again, "but you never know." "You never do," Cora agrees. Now THAT is the Cora I know and whose serene life of leisure I morbidly envy!

Old Loves

After a pretty nice series of short scenes that show us how it takes a village to marry a couple -- Anna and Mrs. Patmore coming into Mrs. Hughes's room to say they're there to dress the bride ("There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear!" - Mrs. Hughes); Molesley bringing the florist's box of boutonnieres and Carson dispensing them to all his suddenly deputized ushers, even Thomas! -- Carson and Mrs. Hughes get married. (When Carson gets to the traditional "With my body, I thee worship" line in his vows, it's like, WE KNOW.)

And then they're husband and wife! Everyone stands as they process out in weird silence except for the sound of the pipers outside the church.

But then the Carsons come outside and the village ladies throw flower petals and it's sweet, and above all, I'm glad Mrs. Hughes is going to have the day she wanted and that it started with that coat.

But even at a wedding, we're not free of talk of the FUCKING HOSPITAL. Isobel finds Dr. Clarkson to apologize for the way she spoke to him the day before. Dr. Clarkson, slightly stiffly, says Isobel said what she thought, and she says she's not sure she did; she was mad at The Dowager C and he just got in the way. But then: bombshell! Dr. Clarkson says, "I'm not sure you were wrong; maybe I haven't focused on what was best for the village." The Dowager C rolls up just in time to hear the end of this, and after Isobel has told The Dowager C that Dr. Clarkson is reconsidering his position and moseyed off, The Dowager C snaps that she hopes this is wishful thinking on Isobel's part. Dr. Clarkson doesn't know, but thinks the matter is worth considering more than once. "In my experience, second thoughts are vastly overrated," sniffs The Dowager C. Dr. Clarkson points out that in addition to Isobel, both Cora and Lord Merton support reform. "A peer in favour of reform," sneers The Dowager C. "It's like a turkey in favour of Christmas!" Maybe he's just thinking he's about to die and he'd like to start dismantling the systems that have been propping up his shitty sons.

Carson is so giddy about the day that he actually KISSES MRS. HUGHES where people can see! Even strangers!!!

Um, the wedding breakfast looks fucking amazing, and I'm furious at Mary that she almost denied everyone the chance to enjoy it!

In the receiving line, Mary tells Carson she's so happy for him, and that she's sorry she made things awkward with regard to the reception and that she hopes he'll forgive her. Mrs. Hughes: "Mr. Carson would forgive you if you attacked him with a brick." ha!

Bates notices that Anna is seeming very "sunny" again, and she shrugs that she likes weddings. Bates says he liked his, but he doesn't think that's it, and comes just shy of observing that Anna looks like she's glowing, saying there's "something about" her. "There's something about you too," she smirks. It's wrong to wish ill on her baby, so of course I don't, and yet how can she be this smug already?

Molesley talks to the local school headmaster about Daisy doing him credit in her upcoming exam. The headmaster tells Molesley he's been an excellent influence on Daisy, but Molesley shrugs off his praise: "I believe that education is the gate that leads to any future worth having." The headmaster, kind of rudely, asks whether Molesley's missed his vocation, to which Molesley sighs that he's missed everything, but that Daisy doesn't have to. I know we're supposed to be rooting for Daisy when we get scenes like this...

...and yet it's hard when the VERY NEXT SECOND she's gleefully bringing Mr. Mason over to say hi to Cora so they can all talk about how great it's going to be when he takes over Yew Tree Farm, even though Molesley told Daisy not to say anything, and even though when Daisy happened to run into Cora in the hall the day before and thank her, she didn't notice Cora (barely) trying to temper her expectations, and even though when Daisy brought it up in the servants' hall Molesley told her AGAIN not to say anything. Cora smiles tightly and seems like she's about to tell them that Daisy has LITERALLY put the cart before the horse...

...when Carson calls for silence to make a toast: "I am the happiest and luckiest of men. That a woman of such grace and charm should entrust her life's happiness to my unworthy charge passeth all understanding. To my wonderful bride!" Aw. Everyone raises a glass to the bride, at Carson's exhortation; Lord G amends that to "the bride and groom!"...

...and then a familiar voice is joining in! Hey, it's Tom! That emo letter he wrote was actually a cry for help! Mary is overjoyed to see him, even more so when he says he's there to stay for good, if they'll have him! (If she's preemptively jealous that he's going to usurp her role as sole agent of the estate, there's no sign of it.) Asked what happened, Tom speeches, "It's quite simple. I had to go all the way to Boston to figure something out, and that's what I did....I learned that Downton is my home, and that you are my family. If I didn't quite know that before I left, I know it now." Everyone is thrilled! "Also those Boston rents are some bullshit," Tom does not add.

And then Sybbie is hugging her cousins...although Marigold seems to be reserving judgment on whether she's happy to stop being the only girl in the nursery! She might be Edith's daughter, but this one seems like she actually takes after Mary!