Who Wrote A Better G.I. Joe Parody: Futurama Or The Venture Brothers?

The failings of "classic" (old, crappy) cartoons are myriad and obvious, particularly from our current position in the Golden Age of Television, which is why the latest Futurama is an anthology of parodies, inserting the characters into shows that look a lot like Scooby Doo, Strawberry Shortcake, and G.I. Joe. Except, on that last one, another show got there first. But who did it better?

Who Did It First?

Futurama's Joe parody, G.I. Zapp, aired last night, whereas the Venture Brothers episode in which this elaborate faux O.S.I. credits sequence appears -- The Invisible Hand Of Fate -- originally aired in June of 2008.

Winner: The Venture Brothers.

Who Did It Funnier?

Futurama had some witty touches (the Amy Wong-esque character being code-named Box Cutter, for example), but the entire sequence is bogged down by the framing device of having Earth President (The Head Of) Richard Nixon (voice of Billy West) edit an episode of G.I. Zapp in order to remove or cover up content that's inappropriately violent for children to watch, which renders the whole thing a long, one-joke slog.

On the other hand, the Venture Brothers clip above is only two minutes long -- not even! -- and weaves in multiple references; not just G.I. Joe but Johnny Quest, the Lynndie England scandal, Hunter S. Thompson, and (if you watched the earlier episode and recognize the Sasquatch-loving bionic astronaut Steve Summers passing through in his track suit), The Six Million Dollar Man.

Winner: The Venture Brothers.

Who Made It More Believable?

On one side, a disembodied head in a jar defends the patriotic value of a cartoon in which a multi-planetary military force battles a multi-species acronym-named consortium of supervillains. On the other, a secret government squad battles an acronym-named consortium of regular villains, though one member is convinced that the real enemy is an organization of masked supervillains known as the Guild Of Calamitous Intent. So "believable" is kind of immaterial.

Winner: Tie.

Whose Stakes Were Higher?

Futurama's Joe parody exists explicitly as a show within a show, so in that sense, there are no stakes, other than public disapproval for Nixon if he doesn't act to keep it from impressionable juvenile eyes. And even within the world of G.I. Zapp, it's not really that clear whom A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. is menacing or why. But the O.S.I. of Venture Brothers is a black ops agency keeping America safe from S.P.H.I.N.X., using billions in resources and secret technology. It is no joke. (Though it is funny, as I mentioned above.)

Winner: The Venture Brothers.

Whose Outcome Was More Satisfying?

Futurama's is a one-off with a total "who cares" of an ending, so...not that. Whereas The Venture Brothers introduction kicks off a whole skein of show mythology -- with double and triple agents and sex change operations and so much more! --  that's still paying off in the current season, more than five years later. 

Winner: The Venture Brothers.

So...Who Wrote It Better?

The current season of Futurama is doing one thing consistently well: letting fans say goodbye to the show without getting too sad about it. (By which I mean, episodes have ranged from "eh" to "bad," with last night's half-assed episode firmly in the latter category.) But the Venture Brothers O.S.I. faux-credits sequence is still one of my favourite moments in the whole series, and, no kidding, I watch the clip above a few times a year.

Winner: The Venture Brothers.