The Complete Graceland House Rules
- No guns downstairs.
- No guns in the bathrooms.
- No crossbows indoors ANYWHERE. (Deck OK.)
- Don't eat food any of your roommates has labeled with his or her initials.
- If someone gets shot on the job, wait a decent interval before clearing out his or her room.
- If someone gets shot off the clock, his or her stuff is totes up for grabs.
- ONLY speak Russian on that one phone, unless you're doing a bit that is REALLY hilarious.
- No spraying your roommates' bedding etc. with Luminol when they're not home.
- Tupperware is top-rack dishwasher-safe ONLY.
- Facial/other prosthetics are also top-rack dishwasher-safe ONLY.
- No conversing in Spanish around the kid who isn't fluent but somehow got this assignment anyway???
- No jokes about "convening task forces" that target any of your roommates' moms.
- Empty sand from wallet BEFORE entering the house.
- No spying on your roommates unless you have a super-good reason.
- No sneakers or dye in communal washing machine.
- Probably don't keep your FBI/DEA/Customs windbreaker here?
- How about a courtesy flush, huh?
- Workshop your undercover identity during commercials, not when people are trying to watch Scandal.
- No more than three brags about your professional test scores/class rank are permitted WEEKLY.
