Beyond Level V
"She's a Level V hoarder, which is the worst on the scale," said Dr. Rebecca Beaton of hoarder Rhonda in last night's episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive. And it's true: Level V is as high as the current hoarding scale, developed by the Institute For Challenging Disorder, will go. And while Level V hoarding is pretty bad, but if the proliferation of hoarding reality shows have taught us anything, it's that hoarders are constantly evolving, perfecting their craft, and defying rational humans' ideas of how disgusting people can actually be. Before long, we're going to need more levels on the hoarding scale.
Level I
No evidence of hoarding.
Level II
One exit from the home is blocked; evidence that pets are not being cared for properly; there are odours related to kitchen and bathroom mess.
Level III
Number of pets exceeds local laws; at least one room isn't being used for its intended purpose; odours are inescapable.
Level IV
Several rooms aren't being used for their intended purposes; hallways, stairs, and exits are blocked; there's rotting food around and no linens on beds.
Level V
Plumbing and HVAC systems are unusable; evidence of human urine and excrement; irreparable structural damage.
Level VI
Hoard spreads across yard such that it risks reaching neighbouring properties.
Level VII
Weight of hoard generates its own gravitational pull.
Level VIII
Vermin living within the hoard start exhibiting hoarding behaviours of their own.
Level IX
Density of hoard causes oldest items to decompose into fossils.
Level X
Hoard becomes self-aware.
Level XI
Hoard develops rudimentary speech powers, though when the hoarder reports this to friends and loved ones, no one believes him/her.
Level XII
Hoard registers to vote.
Level XIII
Hoard joins Republican Party.
Level XIV
Hoard fully engulfs neighbouring properties.
Level XV
Last person pushed out of neighbourhood visits Washington D.C.; shocked to discover memorial dedicated to Abrahoard Lincoln.