Jane The Virgin Breaks The Seal On Some Real Talk With Her Mother

Jane The Virgin has been portraying the complexities of its titular character's relationship with her mother, Xiomara, all along; way back in what was only "Chapter Two" of Jane's story, we learned that what may have seemed like inappropriate behaviour for its own sake and/or maybe to hook up with a cute waiter at Jane's quinceañera was actually inappropriate behaviour in the (heroic) service of keeping Jane from noticing her date making out with another girl. This week, the show lets us know that sometimes Xiomara's inappropriate behaviour is...exactly what it looks like. But it also lets Jane address it in a way that Xiomara is clearly not ready to hear.

In our cold open, the narrator takes us back to Jane's twenty-first birthday party, the magical night she met Michael. What we didn't see when we first flashed back to that night in an earlier episode is that on his way out, Mike found what he took to be one of Jane's too-hard-partying friends...

...but was, in fact, her too-hard-partying mom. Jane was horribly embarrassed that a new guy she was already excited about got this unpleasant glimpse into her life even before Xiomara went on to boot on Michael's shoes, but her memory of that night -- which the narrator notes was "out of control" -- has led her to enact tough conditions on her bachelorette party: "Strictly prohibited: strip clubs; cheesy bars; and penis stuff." When Jane checks to make sure Alba doesn't want to come, Alba notes that there's one more restriction Jane could institute.

We've already had it established in a recent episode that Jane is an inveterate pleaser, so her eyes have to tell us what her mouth can't tell Xo: that no, in fact, she doesn't necessarily want her mother at her bachelorette party -- or, rather, that her mother's attendance at her bachelorette party is the reason she thinks she has to keep it PG-13, with mani-pedis and a dinner with a seating chart, and without an excess of opportunities for excessive drinking. But, of course, Xo and Lina have conspired to countermand Jane's orders and throw her a more traditionally bacchanalian bachelorette...starting with a Don Quixote stripper who ends up finding her at a lecture and imperiling her job as a TA. By the time Xo and Lina lay out the new plan, Xo isn't wrong to note to a protesting Jane that the damage with her boss is done and that she won't be able to do anything to save her job this particular night, and Jane agrees to board both the party bus and the party. Xo helps Jane make sure her debauchery won't be documented on social media by collecting everyone's phones, but that proves to be her last smart move of the night, as she goes on to do the following:

When Jane assures Lina that they'll always be friends even after Jane has a husband and an MFA and tells her Xo owes Lina an apology, Lina ruefully says she may have actually done Lina a favour.

As half a dozen emotions flash across Jane's face at this assessment of someone she loves so fiercely yet shames her so consistently, Gina Rodriguez once again proves that Golden Globe last year wasn't a fluke. And both she and Andrea Navedo are perfect in the next morning's scene, as we cut between Xo's apology for her out-of-control behaviour at the bachelorette party, and her out-of-control behaviour at Jane's twenty-first birthday, because both apologies are the same: Xo's sad Jane's reached such an important milestone; it makes Xo feel old; it reminds Xo that her big job as a mother is done; and it makes her realize she needs to figure out what she's doing with her life. (Even Xo's conciliatory pastelitas are the same both times.) The day after her twenty-first birthday, Jane accepted Xo's apology: "I know it's hard." But this time, Jane's night ended not with her putting Xo in bed, but with Michael, as she told him how important it was, given how her mother makes her feel she must always be in control because Xo might not be, that he makes her feel safe to be herself. So this time, her response is very different.

It seems likely that, once Jane gets a little distance from the events of the previous night, she may regret that closer. But in the moment, it must feel exactly right. Jane is, like Xo, a young single (for-now) mother. Jane also likes to go out and get wasted sometimes, as we certainly see throughout the episode -- her alter ego Sweet Lady Jane even makes an appearance! But at some point when Xo was apologizing to her for not having figured out her life's purpose apart from parenthood, Jane figured out her own. The fortunate effect of Xo's scattershot mothering is that Jane had to teach herself how to grow up; if she hadn't, she surely wouldn't have had the maturity to make the decision she did after her accidental insemination. That also means, though, that Jane is now a parent to an actual child, and the appeal of mothering her mother has worn off. But since Jane has done such a good job setting the example for Xo that Xo couldn't for Jane, it probably means nothing could more effectively achieve the goal of making Xo re-evaluate her life and make positive changes than Jane telling her to.