Jane The Virgin Serves Up A Shower, A Shooting...And A Shag?

While "Chapter Thirty-Four" does prove the novela trope (as recited by Rogelio to an intern he's lecturing) that "a woman in distress really brings everyone together at the end of an episode!," the action elements this week are far overshadowed by big relationship moves and moments for several pairs of characters. (Don't get too excited that the Rose threat has been dispensed with; for one thing, Mutter's still kicking around, and for another, you know this business with Rogelio's prison pen pal Lola is going to be a whole other kind of ass-tear.) Let's count down these relationships from "eh" to "OHHHHH!"

1. Rose & Luisa

   I've never given so much as a half-crap about anything Luisa's done since she accidentally inseminated Jane.

   

   This reunion with her later-to-be-killed (or is she) crime boss girlfriend falls into that category. And while we're here: given how many times the cops have lied to characters -- and, by extension, the audience -- about the investigation of this case, I don't necessarily trust that Rose is actually dead just because Michael says so. It's not that I think he'd lie about this to Jane; it's that I'm not sure what he has been given to believe is actually true. Also are we supposed to be concerned that Rose shot Susanna on her way to her appointment with Mutter's silk rope? Susanna's a zero of a character and I say that EVEN AS I add that I'm pretty sure we're about to find out she's a Mutter mole anyway and OMG this episode has caused me to form an opinion about the crime story! AUGH. DO NOT CARE.

2. Rafael & Jane

   It's a real drag that the show had to walk back all the progress it made with the character of Rafael over the course of Season 1 for the sake of dramz; I really came around on him and on the love story between him and Jane. And when this ridiculous Petra insemination plotline came along, I was interested to see where it would go: the way the show has, this season, fleshed out its portrait of Rafael and Petra's formerly good relationship and the tragedy they both suffered with her miscarriage has been delicately done and actually moving and given both characters more humanity.

   

   ...Which is why Rafael telling Jane out of the blue that he's still in love with her is so jarring and disappointing. Jane and Rafael had been working on developing a relationship as friendly and mutually supportive co-parents -- something that's both more interesting and more important than for them to try to start up something romantic again. It's good that Jane didn't hesitate before telling him, kindly, that she doesn't feel the same way, so I guess there's more of a chance than ever that Rafael would reconsider the other mother of his other children. Or be single! It might do him some good.

3. Rogelio & Xiomara

   While it's long been a peeve of mine that couples on TV so often break break up by mutual agreement and without acrimony -- you know, just like every time you've broken up with someone!

   

   But in the case of Xiomara and Rogelio, the show's earned this regretful, loving parting. These two have known each other since they were kids. They've already been through all kinds of challenges. And, being grown adults, they both have the maturity to realize there are some differences that can't be overcome if they just love each other enough, and that the question of whether or not to have more children together is one of them. I appreciate that the episode found Rogelio cheerfully offering Xiomara solutions just in case she changed her mind; in my experience, people who want kids often think people who don't will have a change of heart eventually (and, to be fair, of course people who didn't want kids DO sometimes change their minds). (People who did want kids, and have them, probably also change their minds after the fact on occasion too, but they don't really talk about it!) But I also appreciate that it let Xiomara entertain the idea of pursuing her options with regard to her fertility, and ultimately to stand firm. She loves herself enough not to relent on a matter that's this important, and she loves Rogelio enough to set him free to find a woman who does want to have babies with him. I AM SURE THERE ARE LOTS.

4. Chavez & Jane

   The way the episode lets this flirtation proceed is so smart and well done. At the top of the episode, we hear Jane tell Xiomara her rationale for giving up her virginity after all these years: "It just doesn't seem to make sense anymore. I mean, I'm a virgin mom!"

   

   And it's not like this dude is a bad bet. On top of being smart and foxy, he's not looking to get into anything serious: he's recently divorced, and he's four months away from going on sabbatical overseas. If, as Jane says, "at this point [she] just want[s] to get it over with," he's a great candidate. Though the first attempt goes awry when she tells him she's a virgin because of a promise she made to her grandmother, she kind of kills the mood, and while Xiomara, after hearing the story, thinks Jane purposely sabotaged the moment because she wasn't actually ready, I don't think that's the case: Chavez told Jane she was about to be the first woman he'd slept with since his divorce, and since he'd made himself vulnerable by sharing something so intimate, she didn't want to leave him alone there. To me, the sexting scene showed how ready Jane really was to sleep with Chavez (and, interestingly, was extremely suggestive that Jane's pledge not to have sex with a man didn't mean she's sworn of all kinds of sexual expression...by which I mean there were a bunch of moments when we didn't see what her non-texting hand was doing, GET IT).

   After Jane's active imagination turned the cop who stopped her speeding into Michael telling her not to sleep with Chavez, obviously the moment was kind of dampened, but I don't think her crying at his apartment is proof that she regretted almost doing it or whatever: it's an emotional moment, and one she'd thought for years she'd be sharing with Michael, a man who, as far as she knew at that time, was never going to be an option for her again. It's great for Jane that she's ready to contemplate a sexual relationship outside marriage, and even greater that she has the discernment to know that just getting it over with isn't actually what she wants after all.

5. Jane & Michael

   I really want to believe the boring cop shit is over, you guys. I really, really do.

   

   Because shmoopy, romantic Michael, with his urgent and heartfelt declaration of love -- Jane's first love, the one she has so much history with -- is the Michael I'm interested in. I can even forgive all his cop-ly efforts if I consider them only through the lens of his need to keep Jane and Mateo safe.

6. Xo & Mateo

   These two!

   

   If that little punim didn't convince Xiomara to give babies another shot, obviously nothing could. LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE LITTLE NUGGET.

7. Jane & Petra

   Jane and Petra's story in this episode makes me so happy, starting with Jane's generous dismissal of Petra's having missed their last social engagement.

   Jane: I know you the only reason why you cancelled that lunch was because your mother murdered that guy.

   Petra: Yeah. Sorry about that.

   Jane: No, it's not your fault. I mean, my mother does a lot of stupid stuff too.

   hee! Gina Rodriguez is always funny, and while Yael Grobglas has her moments, putting her opposite Rodriguez really raises her game.

   

   But the snippy conflict that arises Jane offers to throw Petra a baby shower is fascinating, and it works because we know these characters so deeply: of course Jane is trying to give Petra the benefit of everything she's learned as a mother herself, including which items you can skimp on; of course Petra plans to be a very posh parent, declining to breastfeed and arranging for a night nurse; of course each thinks the other is judging her; of course both are kind of not wrong. But because Jane doesn't have the inclination to get sucked into Petra's passive-aggression -- having your child abducted hours after his birth lowers your patience for manufactured drama like that -- she confronts her about blowing off the baby shower, and the two have a frank conversation about the differences between them and why it's important for them to find a way to relate. Jane's explanation that she wants Mateo to have the family she didn't is heartfelt, and Petra's reaction is reasonable and sweet. Then they both get to be tart again.

   Petra: I don't like it when people are fake. Part of the reason I didn't want to go to the shower is 'cause I didn't want to hear you give some insincere toast.

   Jane: Good. 'Cause I didn't want to give it!

   Jane rips up her notes. Cut to the shower, where Jane raises a glass.

   Jane: To Petra! She's...having two babies!

   The more honest these two are with each other, the more I can see them being real friends. Jane doesn't like fake people either, and I like the idea of her having a pal she can be bitchy with. Everyone deserves that.

8. Jane & Alba

   Alba is more open-minded about contemporary human sexuality than she seemed in Season 1! I am not a crackpot!

   

   Xo and Jane spend the episode hastily changing the subject from Chavez, and the access he may be granted to Jane's pants, every time Alba walks in the room. However, toward the end of it, Alba takes advantage of a quiet moment alone with Jane to tell her, "If you have sex, I won't judge you. I don't like feeling on the outside of your life." The walls in the house, she adds, are very thin, so...you know, she's heard everything. She tells Jane that "things are different" now that Jane is older: "And just because I had sex before I met your grandfather doesn't mean you'll regret it, like I did." Jane is shocked at this huge twist in her own sexual origin story -- Jane, like this viewer, had probably assumed that the reason for Alba's flower-crushing speech was a concern that Jane end up in the same situation Xiomara did, not that Alba was trying to protect Jane from repeating what Alba has regarded as her own mistake. But Alba wants to make it clear now that even though everyone who knew about her premarital sex judged her, she will not judge Jane.

   Needless to say, if you've watched the show, you know this is a HUGE evolution in Jane and Alba's relationship. In this very episode, Jane characterizes her ongoing virginity as the consequence of the promise she'd made Alba. But now that Alba has not exactly given Jane her blessing to enter into a sexual relationship with the right partner, but at least told her that it won't destroy Alba's view of Jane, then Jane is fully freed for sexual self-determination. And now if she decides to remain a virgin until marriage, it's a different story than it was before. Either way, we all owe Alba a debt for letting Jane proceed with all the facts, and to the show's producers for continuing to allow Alba to grow out of the anti-sex scold we first knew.