Loretta's Ambition Starts Growing Like A...Well, You Know

Tanfastic!

Who called the meeting? Art, Tim, and Raylan.

What's it about? Rachel has come to believe Raylan's hunch that Ava's burned as a CI -- maybe in part because he stakes Arlo's property on it -- so he wants to line up a new snitch in Boyd's camp. You're up, Wynn Duffy!

How'd it go? It's productive and illuminating! And also hilarious, since the Marshals bust in on Wynn while he's enjoying his tanning bed.

After subduing a stroppy Wynn by shoving him back into the tanning bed and sitting on it, he agrees to talk. And when Art shows him that he's gotten into the late Simon Poole's formerly sealed papers, Wynn realizes there's no point denying it and shrugs: "Congratulations, you got me. I was the rat." And since they know he's done it before, they'd like him to do it again.

But if Wynn doesn't co-operate, then the files will probably be leaked, and then what will Katherine do? Probably nothing good. So let's all meet our newest addition to the CI family!

Seabass vs. Avery & Katherine

Katherine and Avery are drinking wine and expositing his plans to parade her around like a political wife at an upcoming glad-handing event he's throwing at the Pizza Portal when a knock comes at the door, and Katherine opens it to...Seabass, with his gun drawn. "This what you were pounding in Lexington while we were pounding doors?" Avery barks at Seabass to "show the lady some respect," but he's also unarmed, so it's not that threatening. Lest you think that money can't buy you loyalty, it turns out Seabass just considered his earlier cash wad a down payment, and now he wants more, for consideration of his "disloyalty to [his] former CO." "You know where my money is," glares Avery. "Think you can get to it? Have at it." Seabass doesn't think Avery actually does want him to try, since if he got arrested he could tell some tales on Avery, and says he'll be on his way if he can just have Katherine's ring. When Avery says it has sentimental value, she gets an idea: she has a tennis bracelet in her purse -- and since she's a woman of extravagant tastes, it's worth a lot. Seabass is like, that'll work, so Katherine goes to get it.

And then, as if all that wasn't cool enough, when she calls for help cleaning up the mess, she fucking does it in FRENCH, AND in a hot leather dress! And when a shaken-up Avery comments that he thought he'd seen all her tricks, she shrugs, "If you feel compelled to show your gratitude, I could sure use a new purse." FIRE.

Winner: FUCKING KATHERINE, DUDE, DUH.

The Clock, It Ticks!

Who called the meeting? Wynn.

What's it about? The big vault heist.

How'd it go? Kind of dumb, since everyone knows Wynn is lying his face off when he tells Boyd that Avery's moving the money out of the Pizza Portal right after this party -- particularly after Boyd tries to get rid of Ava before he and Wynn talk and Wynn makes sure Ava stays and hears everything by getting in a dig about how he thought Boyd and Ava didn't have any secrets. As soon as he leaves, Boyd comments that Raylan is pulling Wynn's string, and tells Ava this is the moment they need to play their one-time "Get Out Of Jail Free" card on Raylan...before calling Zachariah and telling him their timeline's shortened up, like a lot.

Over The Boon

Sweetening The Pot

Main Cast: Loretta; Ava.

New Characters to be added: Loretta's new weed farmhand/potential love interest Ezekiel (Jonathan Bennett); Boyd and Loretta's persnickety bookkeeper, Bernine (Annie Potts); and Carlington (Tituss Burgess), Ava's best friend and fellow hairdresser at her new salon.

Sample episode plot: While Loretta and Ezekiel work on getting their first weed crop harvested, Boyd gets distracted from his protection duties by the vagrant who keeps trying to steal Ava's space cake from where it's cooling on a windowsill; Ava and Carlington get up to no good at an ombré seminar in Louisville; Bernine raises objections to an expense claim for a top-of-the-line vaporizer.

Show And Sell

What's the occasion? Avery's trying to ingratiate himself to the Harlan locals who haven't agreed to sell him their land yet, with Katherine in tow as his leather-clad trophiancée.

What are the refreshments? Free booze, which is why Raylan orders the most expensive whiskey in the place; pizza, obviously.

Whose big public scene will everyone be talking about tomorrow? A few!

• Boon interrupting talk of Raylan selling Arlo's property to Loretta when he rolls up to intimidate her again, oblivious to the fact that she's standing next to Raylan, who's not going to be very impressed by Boon's openly carrying a gun on his hip, or his quick-draw skills, or the fact that he lives in the world but has never heard of John Wayne.
• Boyd and Ava showing up at the party even though Avery had told them both that if they ever came to the Pizza Portal again, he'd kill them.
• If he's observant, Avery might discuss (with whatever close associates he has left) Katherine's pretending she's never met Ava or Boyd before.
• Boyd interrupting Avery's remarks by asking whether he intends to use up Harlan like he has many other small towns in Colorado, failing to keep the money from legal weed in the communities that grow it.
• But more awkward than any of those is Loretta's big move: mentioning by name the Avery holdouts who aren't present (because they got run out of their homes or actually killed); also mentioning the threatening snake that was left in her house; expressing her intention to oppose Avery's acquisition campaign and provide good weed jobs to Harlan residents; calling out Katherine for being too glamorous ("She look like Harlan to you?") and announcing that she's joined forces with Boyd to run her operation.

Boyd himself doesn't seem like he was quite ready for that to get put out on front street.

After admonishing Loretta that a whisper may have gotten her further than a scream at this particular event, Boyd applauds her spirit...

...and then tells Earl and Ava to stand by for his signal! Raylan observes!

Loretta hooks back up with Raylan, who's like, I can't really sell you Arlo's house now since I just saw you tell a Pizza Portal full of people your plans to grow and distribute weed with Boyd, uh duh? He warns Loretta that Boyd's about to get arrested or killed, so apparently he does still care about her, aw!

Katherine: Something will need to be done about that girl.

Avery: [to Boon] Find out if she has any kin.

Boyd brings a very reluctant Wynn down to the tunnel to check on Zachariah's progress! Carl judges Wynn's shoes, which is pretty rich coming from someone who very likely only owns the one pair!

Ava glances across the bar at Raylan, who comes over and sends Earl out for a smoke! When Earl whines that he doesn't smoke, Raylan suggests, "You should take it up. It'd be good for your health." Earl half-heartedly tries to fight back, but Ava just wearily tells him to go before Raylan crushes his nuts again, hee hee! Once Earl's gone, Raylan tells Ava she looks good in that dress, and she humblebrags that she feels overdressed! After a Significant Look, Ava can tell Raylan knows something's up, and says, "I'm supposed to tell you it's going to happen next week, but it's going down today. Soon." She asks how he knew. "Something in your way," he tells her. "He almost killed me," says Ava, which feels less and less true with each passing episode! Ava says her job is to start a fire and clear the place out! "Best get to it," Raylan recommends.

Underground, Boyd checks the fuse on the dynamite, excitedly crowing, "That money's going to fall right down in my goddamn lap! You kiss my ass, Raylan Givens!" Rude, but also, something I wouldn't mind seeing? He walkies to Carl that they're all set down there!

When Earl gets the go signal, Ava downs her drink, goes to the kitchen, and turns over a pan of oil into a stove burner! The fire alarm goes off! Raylan watches everyone filing out, and then walks over to where Katherine and Avery are staring at the fire to tell Avery, "We need to get to your vault. I believe you're being robbed." Ocean's Eleven, this isn't!

Zachariah vs. Boyd

Boyd's just lit the fuse on the dynamite when Zachariah reappears to knock him down and shackle him by the ankle, growling, "Take away my niece...You'll be buried by your own goddamn greed!" Okay, that's a pretty good medium-length con, actually -- and Zachariah got $20K for it, too! That's when the fight turns into Boyd vs. Confinement: as he screams for help, he tries (vainly) to cut the fuse with a knife, and when that doesn't work, starts working on the chain. After Carl's hustled Wynn out of the tunnel, he hears Boyd screaming and comes running, so it is he who finally hands him a nearby rock hammer. Boyd sends Carl out and starts smashing at the chain, smashing it...

...and racing out juuuuuust ahead of a fireball.

Winner: Well, they're both still alive, so: draw?

Tim and Rachel watch Boyd, Wynn, and Carl crawling out of the mine opening, apparently without any cash! How embarrassing!

Avery and Raylan inspect the vault, where nothing at all has happened! "One thing didn't occur to me," says Raylan. "Dipshit's not capable of pulling it off." Avery asks, if Boyd had stuck his head up through the hole, would Raylan have shot him?" "Might've," sighs Raylan. "Just give him a minute," smirks Avery. "Maybe he'll try it again." When Raylan notes that the fire department's en route and will kick Avery and Raylan out of the basement when they get there, Avery comments, "You know, I don't get you. Gave you some of my own money to help you out. Twenty-four hours ago, upstairs, I figured you and me are simpatico. Now I see you're just jerkin' me around, using me to get Boyd." "Don't take it personal," says Raylan. "Just doing what I gotta do." "Yep," nods Avery. "That's my plan." Gee, Raylan, are you sure you don't want to sell THIS guy Arlo's property? You seem like you have so much in common!

Boyd makes it back to the bar, only slightly charred! After shoving Ava away from Earl and sending Earl home, Boyd turns on Ava, demanding to know what she told Zachariah to make him try to, like, kill Boyd! Ava reminds Boyd that she's the one who told him Zachariah wasn't right in the head! Boyd asks her one more time: is she lying to him? "NO," she replies. Boyd sits, and Ava hesitantly asks whether Zachariah's dead! Boyd doesn't know! "And the money?" "Still in the vault. Won't be for long, they're going to move it tonight. That's when I'm going to hit it." Okay, now we have Ocean's Eleven potential here!

The lawmen and -women discuss all the nothing that just happened, which Raylan characterizes thus: "Boyd couldn't get it up." Rachel's mad about all the resources that have been expended on an op that's amounted to nothing! Raylan reminds her that they still have Ava, and now they have Wynn too! "Boyd, Markham, the rest of them assholes: they're just doing what we want 'em to do!...Boyd ain't gonna stop; he's just gonna go at that money harder and stupider." But does Rachel still have the heart for this anymore? "And to think there was a time I was actually excited to have a big office," she sighs. Well, yeah, maybe get out of it and reinstall someone who's still got a Simon Poole to avenge, lady, damn!