Young Slingers In Love: A Justified Romance

Muscle Men

A new crew of drug dealers means new enforcers!

To Neither Protect Nor Serve

Alert Type: Creepy Sheriff Alert.

Issue: Visiting Paxton and the current Mrs. Paxton in the hospital, this cop Mooney is pretty sure that Boyd is the one who beat Paxton and left him for dead.

Complicating Factors: Well, as you may have surmised from the fact that he's in a hospital bed, Paxton didn't actually die. And when Mooney describes Boyd and asks Mara whether he was the one who beat up Paxton, she says yes. But then when Mooney takes her to Boyd's bar to confirm the ID, she takes it back.

Resolution: Boyd finds Mara at the hospital, and she tells him that she'll continue lying about Boyd's attack if he gives her the $300,000 he'd been planning to pay Paxton to go back on his testimony against Ava. When Boyd points out that if he were to kill Paxton, she'd get all his money, Mara explains that she signed a contract: if she stays with Paxton for less than ten years, she gets nothing.

Spoiler: Even if Boyd does come through with the money for Mara, it might not solve all his problems: Mooney pulls Mara over and threatens her with what will happen in a courtroom if she ends up getting implicated in Paxton's attack: "Basically, they see a whore. And when I arrest you for trying to kill your husband, there ain't a jury in the great state of Kentucky that won't convict your ass."

Forever Unclean

No amount of money laundering will wash away the stains on your soul, sir!

Reunited, And It Feels Pretty Crappy

Who called the meeting? Loretta, technically.

What's it about? She's been arrested for dealing weed to a cop's kid, and she's asked for Raylan by representing him as "practically her stepfather."

How'd it go? Loretta's still as street-smart as ever — "If you met the kid, you'd know you can't ruin a future that doesn't exist" — but when Raylan tells her he doesn't appreciate her dropping his name to get her ass out of trouble, she manages a show of contrition. "Next time, lead with that," Raylan tells her. "It's bullshit, but at least it's an attempt." Then he leaves and lets her spend the night in jail. Tough love!

The Social Worker Network

Raylan's just finished his meet-cute with Loretta's boyfriend/slinging colleague Derek ("You're a total dick." "All right, have a good one") when he runs into a cute blonde who seems very familiar with him considering that they've never met.

We Will Avenge You, Chrissy

So just because Dewey bought a brothel from Boyd, that doesn't mean he doesn't still have secret mortgage payments to make that he doesn't actually know about. I guess what I'm saying is that Wade and this dude Carl have been colluding to skim off Dewey's revenues, and it's hard to feel that bad for Dewey because he's clearly in over his head and should have just bought himself a fancy car to wreck instead. Aaaaaanyway, Dewey comes out of the office where all the cash is that Carl is there to collect, and Wade and Carl have to do some fancy footwork to cover up their plans. Naturally, Wade comes up with Carl being mad that Dewey made Wade fire a chubby hooker named Chrissy. And Carl goes along with it even though it's clear he's not really happy to get a reputation as a lover of fat women. GROW UP, CARL.

Dope Is For Dopes

Who called the meeting? Raylan.

What's it about? He's come to tell Derek to break up with Loretta.

How'd it go? Derek probably isn't thrilled that Raylan wants to get in the middle of his relationship with Loretta, which is obviously very deep and meaningful for them both. But on the other hand, Raylan shows up just as HR's thugs are in the middle of roughing up Derek, so he's probably glad of the interruption. Also, Raylan happens to notice the Tennessee plates on the guys' car, which will probably be useful information for him later.

State Of The Narcotic Union

Who called the meeting? Boyd, though when he's late showing up, Wynn takes the helm.

What's it about? Boyd and Wynn need to reassure their distributors that the new shipment of drugs is coming "soon."

How'd it go? Not so hot. Boyd comes in just as the crowd — led by this one dude named Cyrus, who seems to think he's the Norma Rae of the operation — is turning on Wynn, and has to buy drinks for everyone just to shut them up.

I Don't Think I Care For Your Tonin

After Raylan magnanimously agrees to live in Monroe's mansion while its rightful owner is in stir, Art asks him why Sammy Tonin called the office looking for Raylan the day before Sammy was killed. This gives Raylan the opportunity to drop a little continuity on our asses: to wit, a reminder that he and Sammy had talked at some stables ages and ages ago, at which time Raylan had told him that if he ever wanted to make a deal, he should call. Did Sammy want to make a deal? Like, maybe a "please don't let this crazy butcher dismember me" deal? Let's assume this will become important later!

Shovel Ready

Who called the meeting? The Tennessee thugs.

What's it about? Idiot Derek told them that he and Loretta buried their stash, so they want him to dig it up.

How'd it go? Well, Derek can't find the stash, because Loretta already came back without him and moved it. So that part is not great for anyone. But just as Chatty Thug is telling Derek that he was going to end up in the hole whether the drugs were there or not, Raylan shows up. Loretta came to his office crying — not because Derek broke up with her, of course, but because he's been missing. So Raylan knocks out Taciturn Thug with a shovel, whereupon Chatty Thug informs Raylan that this won't actually stop HR from going after the kids. Oh — and Derek was strictly small-time before Loretta got them embroiled with HR and Memphis. Good looking out, Loretta, not.

Gentlemen's Agreement

Who called the meeting? Raylan.

What's it about? He wants HR (a.k.a. Hot Rod) to leave Derek and Loretta alone.

How'd it go? "I get a call from a Givens at this late hour, I get nervous" is how HR kicks things off, so apparently HR and Arlo were acquainted back in the day. Anyway, he's not that amenable, at first, to Raylan's proposal that HR stop working with Derek and Loretta and to stay out of Kentucky, on the basis that Derek and Loretta's perfidy shouldn't go unpunished. "Arlo knew when to walk away," HR adds. "Did you learn nothing from him?" "I learned a bit," Raylan shrugs. And then he totally wins the argument with a cool speech.

You Know What They Say About Loose Lips

Hey, Cyrus the disgruntled dealer has a little friend! How nice for both of them.

Crowes Reunited

Art calls this guy Ed looking for info about where Sammy Tonin was the night Nicky Augustine was killed!

At Monroe's, Raylan and Allison eat Chinese food and flirt. She lists all the reasons she should be wary of him, like that he's living in a criminal's house, drinking his wine, and that he's estranged from his daughter and his ex-wife. "There's some red flags, I admit," says Raylan, adding that he could still be capable of change.

In the hospital, Paxton wakes up and calls for Mara!

And Boyd rolls up to a clearing to find evidence of a terrible shootout (and no survivors): "They hit our damn shipment"!!!