Key & Peele Faces The Kids In The Hall In The Battle Of The Menstruation-Minded Men

Which did it first?

Kids In The Hall tackled the subject in its very first season -- specifically, in an episode that aired in Canada on November 14, 1989.

The Key & Peele containing this FAS talk will air on Comedy Central this Wednesday, July 15, but I guess we can date it from its arrival on YouTube: July 10, 2015.

Winner: The Kids In The Hall.

Which has a stronger concept?

No question here. Like a lot of Kids In The Hall monologues in the earliest days, this one relies more on sharp writing than production values, and involves nothing but Dave Foley, apparently standing in a dead spot on the studio floor between sets that were built for other sketches, speaking his truth. The character he's playing is a guy who has a good attitude toward menstruation -- a character one hopes is not too big a stretch from Foley's actual character given that he now has a twelve-year-old daughter who might need him to grab her some mini-pads soon; that's all you really need, and that's all you get.

Key & Peele introduced the pimp-esque characters of T-Ray Tombstone and Shaboots Michaels almost two years ago in a sketch that rested on the incongruity between their personas and their message -- which was the importance of performing cunnilingus enthusiastically, frequently, and properly. You don't expect men who look like they make their living hiring out women to perform sex acts not just to be mindful that women are treated well, but to be so passionate on the subject that they deliver lectures about it. What sells this visit with T-Ray and Shaboots even more is that it's shot in a note-perfect parody of a TED Talk, complete with pensive crowd shots. Amazing.

Winner: Key & Peele.

Which leans more enthusiastically into imagery involving the female reproductive system?

Foley gives us an elaborate fantasia of "a raging, rust-coloured river" "plunging off the end of our couch" with coureurs des bois rowing their way up while "singing a jaunty song" -- strong stuff. But it can't really stack up against the way T-Ray and Shaboots describe how women's periods sync up because vaginas speak to each other...and then demonstrate...

...accompanied by their impression of what vagina language sounds like. Turns out: kind of like Minions!

Winner: Key & Peele.

Which offers more useful information to men?

"Be sensitive to that shit!" "If you ain't gettin' them shit, get the fuck out they way!" "Do not try to solve it, don't even bring that shit up!" "It's the worst thing ever, all the time!" "Get your bitch some chocolate!" T-Ray and Shaboots's entire presentation is basically wall-to-wall solid advice.

Foley mentions herbal tea and Pamprin. Eh.

Winner: Key & Peele.

Which speaker or speakers is a more appealing mate for a woman?

As a person who lived in Canada in the 1990s, I met many exemplars of Foley's guy and his "good attitude" -- sensitive, milky drips. And I'm sure many of them went on to marry women and make them very happy, but for me? I don't want a guy who thinks of my periods as something he embraces, "like some men embrace the weekend" or who professes a willingness to "mop [my] brow and admire [my] fecundity." I'm not sure I even want to spend more than five minutes with a guy who even knows the word "fecundity." Much more appealing are Shaboots and T-Ray, who wouldn't dare try to ease any menstrual pain with reflexology, but definitely would punch anyone who pissed me off that week.

Also: chocolate > herbal tea.

Winner: Key & Peele.

Verdict

"A Good Attitude Toward Menstruation" is an important document, and radical for its time. But T-Ray and Shaboots are the menstruation-minded men for our time, and they should absolutely look me up next month with a hot water bottle and a bag of mini peanut butter cups.

Winner: Key & Peele.