Made In Jersey Is The Season's First Casualty
That 2012's first new series to get the axe is Made In Jersey says more about the kinds of ratings CBS is accustomed to drawing -- 7.7 million viewers is more than double the number that watched the last episode of Parks & Recreation, for instance, and NBC hasn't put that on the bubble (because it can't afford to) -- than it does about the actual quality of the show. I watched both episodes of Made In Jersey, largely because I hoped it would satisfy my need to watch a very pretty, somewhat quirky brunette lawyer trying to make it in the big city and also stick it to a haughty blonde colleague who disdains her, but Fairly Legal will be back soon enough.
Like all CBS dramas, Made In Jersey is was a straightforward procedural in which the characters are basically ciphers and the story is the star. Jersey producers did try to differentiate it from other courtroom shows by larding on the Jersey signifiers (though it was so rote; you get more verisimilitude and social commentary from Fred Armisen and Bill Hader as the two gay guys who recur on Weekend Update). In the first episode, protagonist Martina (Janet Montgomery) impressed her law-firm colleagues by applying her knowledge of manicures to a legal case; in the second, she leveraged a friendship with her old law-school boyfriend, also a Jersey native she knew "from the neighbourhood." But now that the show is dead, we'll never get to see Martina bringing her unique New Jersey perspective to her increasingly brilliant legal career. Let's consider...what might have been.
"Pump Or Dump"
Martina risks losing an important client when she's asked to drive him upstate to Albany on official business, but can't manage to refill the gas tank because, as a New Jersey native, she's always been legally forbidden from pumping her own gas.
"Aqua Net Profits"
Martina clinches the case of a consumer class action suit against a hair care company's false claims when she alone can tell the company's powerful CEO wears hair extensions.
"Pine/Apple"
The break in a case has Martina desperate to get back to the office on a Sunday...but first, she has to find her way out of the Pine Barrens after a hike with her brother goes awry.
"Gym, Tan, Lawyer"
When the flamboyant star of a New Jersey-based reality show gets charged with a murder she claims she didn't commit, the case -- of course -- gets assigned to Martina, who has to endure her colleagues' snickers about how much she and the client may have in common.
"Family Business"
In the shocking season finale, Martina's father reaches out to her for help when it seems as though a local Mobster wants to bust out his landscaping business.