Has Any Living Human Ever Had Less Self-Awareness Than Married At First Sight: The First Year's Jamie?

How much is Production coaching Jason about his dad heartbreak?

I'm starting to wonder whether Jason gets a hundred-dollar bill every time he brings up the unfinished business between himself and his father -- which, based on what we know about the situation, is more like no business. But it's like nothing can happen in his life without his mentioning how it reminds him of the yawning vacuum where his father should be: he's hesitant about going to North Carolina given that he's been going through "tough things emotionally" lately. He can't spend time with one of Cortney's friends and her family without remarking, "It makes me wish I had the same kind of thing growing up." He's basically acting like he's never been around a family before, which obviously cannot possibly be the case, and the THes need to quit trying to make Jason seem like an open wound when we can plainly see that he's basically fine.

Has any living human ever had less self-awareness than Jamie?

It's not just that she doesn't know what she wants, although that's part of it: after spending the season to date interacting with Doug so little that her friends and therapist have to keep suggesting that she do so, suddenly she's surprised and hurt that Doug's staying out until after 10 and barely speaking to her when he comes home? I mean, I guess if, as we heard last week, Dr. Pepper never thought there was a chance that Jamie's disdain and/or neglect of Doug would actually hurt Doug's feelings enough that he'd start imagining a future without Jamie in it, then it stands to reason that Jamie didn't either. Of course, now that Doug has told her so in so many words, Dr. Pepper can remark, "I don't think Jamie realizes that something she did has had a much bigger impact than she thought it would." Yeah. Duh. And if Jamie's methods of trying to get Doug to engage include "I looked at houses!...Do you want to look at some pictures with me?" when he JUST ASKED HER to put that shit on hold, I'm honestly not sure how many more days it's going to be before Jamie comes home from a shift and finds all Doug's stuff gone and his number changed. She is so exhausting.

Does Cortney know what contraception is?

When Cortney and Jason go visit her friend Marlo who just had a baby and the couple split up for segregated-single-sex talk even though poor Jason's presumably never met these people before, the subject "naturally" turns to Cortney's own procreative plans. While she's previously told us that she has no intention of having a baby in New York, she tells Marlo she thinks she wants to wait three more years, adding, "But if I get pregnant, we're having a kid. Like, it's not really up to me." While I obviously know that no form of birth control is 100% effective, Cortney does get that it's a little bit "up to" her, right? I know she's from the South, but at some point since she's been living in New York, someone who did take Sex Ed has sat her down and told her how things work, right?!

Does Cortney know what a down payment is?

I once owned a (very small) apartment in Manhattan that cost a hell of a lot more than the $352,000 the seller of this five-bedroom mansion in Charlotte is asking for, so I know first-hand how appealing it must be to tour an open house like that -- particularly for Jason, who's probably never seen a number that small on a real estate listing in the entire time he's been alive and may not have actually understood before he saw it with his own eyes that a dwelling can contain that many bedrooms. And I have no doubt that the monthly mortgage payment on the house, were they to buy it, would be significantly lower than the current rent on their studio apartment. But absent from that discussion was any mention of a down payment. Does Cortney know they would have to have one in order for their mortgage to be that low? Does she know if Jason has that much money saved (since I know for a fact she doesn't)? And speaking of the family's savings...

What is this horseshit about Jason proposing with a diamond ring?

If Cortney has such a wild hair about purchasing a large home in Charlotte, has she thought it through and considered that maybe saving for a down payment is more important than throwing money away on a diamond ring? In that conversation at the brew house after the rafting excursion, she was talking exactly like a resentful girlfriend who's been waiting years for the guy she's dating to propose as opposed to what she is: a woman who's already been married AND renewed her vows! Why is she standing on ceremony about Jason proposing the marriage they're ALREADY IN? Why is her taking his name an issue at all, never mind one she's withholding until he jumps through the hoops she's set up? How can Cortney possibly not appreciate how dumb and gross this makes her look -- what is she, Jamie?

For real, what is Jasmine's deal?

Neph is clearly an idiot for suggesting that Jasmine move in with him and his whole fucking clan, and so is Jasmine for agreeing to do it. But I hate to say I'm on his side when it comes to Jasmine looking for a job. Who knows with the editing, but it certainly sounds like she didn't so much as send out any résumés before she picked up and moved 1600 miles to a new city where her only contact was him. And he's right that if she's determined to be a school secretary again, she's going to have to broaden her search and give up the idea that she's going to find a job five minutes from where she lives. Also, I might add, if she's a secretary, she can be a secretary for any number of employers outside education. Jasmine: you get to take your sweet-ass time looking for a job and being annoyed by Neph's attempts to hurry you up, or you get to be passive-aggressive when you meet him for lunch and comment that "It's nice to get out of the house" -- not both. You want to get out? Find someplace to spend your days.

None of Cortney's sorority sisters is familiar with the term "high jinks"?!

These bitches all went to college! (Also, don't think I didn't notice that "the Crazy 8" [eye-roll] included both a Carrie and a Samantha in this lunch get-together in Charlotte. BARF.)