Is Married At First Sight: The First Year Buying Jamie's False Lashes Out Of Doug's Shirt Budget?

Have we maybe gotten to the bottom of why Jason's half-sister didn't get back to him right away?

I might take a few days to answer this one too.

Pro tip: apostrophes are free.

"He has worked so hard to get to this point"?

So says Cortney of Jason, who's heard back from the half-sister he contacted in what I think we're supposed to believe has been weeks but which, if Jason and Cortney's story is progressing on the same timeline as Doug and Jamie's, has been a couple of days at most. Remind me, though, what Jason's actually contributed to this effort that could reasonably be described as "work"? Cortney's the one who got in touch with a private investigator (I'm not even sure I buy that she did that, even). All Jason did was write an email -- badly. I don't begrudge Jason reconnecting with his half-sister -- this is a relationship that, based on what we've been told, has a lot more potential to be happy and emotionally meaningful than setting anything up with his dad probably would be -- but let's not act like he's been Googling his fingers down to the bone to track her down.

Does Jamie want to be right, or does she want to be happy?

I already said last week that I'm on Jamie's side in the dispute over Doug's non-participation in the wedding, and I still am, particularly since it takes SO LONG for us to see Doug say that he's sorry.

But when Doug puts on his best formal dark heathered henley to take Jamie out for "a nice romantic dinner" and starts out pretty close to saying he's sorry -- "I really really really felt bad about showing up at last minute. It was, uh, irresponsible" -- Jamie could acknowledge Doug's effort in the interest of restoring the peace between them. Instead, she says this: "Not only was it irresponsible, but, you know, I'm just going to say it like it is: it does not make me feel like you value my family. And honestly, the broader picture is, like, what about when we have kids?....Can I depend on you? Like, are you reliable? Can I trust that you're going to be where you say you're going to be, you know, I wouldn't expect you to be late to my sister's wedding."

A few things. First: for Doug to repeat what is clearly Jamie's word -- "irresponsible" -- is evidence of his effort to meet her halfway and validate her feelings. Second: he's saying he fucked up; what does it help to pile on? Third: YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS, YOU'RE NEVER HAVING KIDS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE KIDS. So many of the problems these two have had -- including back when Doug still gave a shit about staying married, which I no longer think he does -- stem from their poor communication skills; Jamie is extremely needy, and when Doug doesn't say things to her using exactly the words she wants him to, she doesn't hear them and can't be generous about his probable intentions. But the bigger part of what must make Jamie impossible to live with is that she can't let anything go, which makes his wedding fuckups the perfect storm of conflict between them. Doug can't go back in time and do everything right during Jamie's sister's wedding weekend. He can express to her that he understands why he upset her and will do better in the future. And if Jamie could grasp that, at this point, it's more important for them to be on good terms with each other than for her to keep berating him until...what? He cries? He buys and wears a hairshirt? He allows her to keep grinding him down until he's entirely lost his will to live? Even when Doug finally does say he's sorry, in so many words, it's not enough for her.

I just sincerely don't know what outcome Jamie is hoping her response will cause. I wonder if she's just been on reality shows so long that she's given up on being happy and is contenting herself by creating drama all the time instead.

And while we're on the subject of Doug's best formal dark weathered henley....

Is the show buying Jamie's false lashes out of Doug's shirt budget?

Bro's really giving his henley wardrobe a workout.

Meanwhile, fucking Jamie can't even go to the nearest strip mall Italian without being locked and loaded.

It's a little much.

What do we think is the percentage chance Jason came up with the art show idea himself?

2%? Or 0%. I mean, it's sweet, but that's definitely all Production, right?

What the hell are Jasmine and Neph even doing?

God, they pack so much WTF in their one scene. Didn't it seem last week like Neph had only put an offer on the house? Because now it's under construction, so I guess he did buy it. And while I still don't think Jasmine should get veto power on the house if she's not paying a fucking thing for it, it's also pretty asinine of Neph not to let her SEE IT until he's ready. If his whole thing is that he doesn't want her to oppose the house, keeping it a secret and not trusting her to be able to imagine how his fixes would improve what she sees is only going to prejudice her against it for sure. That said: based on what Jasmine had said about the houses she and Neph had already looked at, her expectations are extremely unrealistic for New York. Having grown up in Texas, she's used to more square footage than Neph is going to be able to afford unless they move to Long Island or something, so Neph could do a gut reno and still not satisfy her. Given the perma-stinkface Jasmine's had about all things New York -- or all things Neph, maybe -- since she became a semi-cast member, maybe it's just as well that she's only applied for three jobs so far; if she's not actually committed to staying, it might be just as well.

Jamie doesn't get that a pedicure with Bonnie is a trap?!

If I'm right that Doug has checked all the way out of his marriage to Jamie, then it stands to reason that his parents have checked out too. Doug's reviving his campaign to get Jamie into one-on-one therapy is a smart gambit that puts the onus to try to change back on her, and while I obviously don't expect that a tête-à-tête about it between Doug and his dad would find his dad sticking up for Jamie, saying of her that, based on what Doug's told him, "she seems broken" feels like a little much. But after crying about it in front of Dr. Pepper doesn't allow Jamie to weasel out of therapy (which has to be a shock; based on how performative her crying is, it seems like a technique she's been using to get out of shit all her life), Jamie goes for a pedicure with Doug's mom Bonnie, during which Bonnie speaks highly of her own positive experiences in therapy and encourages Jamie to get help to work on herself, adding, "Not for you and Doug to stay together. This is for your own benefit. For you." Bonnie eventually gets around to saying that working on herself had benefits for her family, but "not for you and Doug to stay together" is pretty hard to misinterpret. Bonnie may be on board with this marriage as long as Doug's getting paid to be in it, but she doesn't seem to have any thought of keeping Jamie as a daughter-in-law when fyi's cheques dry up.