What's Jason Going To Complain About Now That He's Done At Fire Academy?

Will Doug and Jamie ever get past the sexual incompatibility of their early days together?

As we all know from watching Married At First Sight, when Jamie first laid eyes on Doug, her pants went on lockdown. What we didn't know until this episode (or, if it came up previously, I don't remember), is that it took two more months after the end of the experiment for Jamie to relent and let Doug fool around with her. Now think about how hard she's been going after him to put a baby in her: if they got married in the spring, then they've been sleeping together for like three months at this point. She is crazy.

Leaving aside the fact of her craziness, though, I feel like their not having slept together early on is still haunting their relationship now in ways that are making both of them act out in weird compensatory ways, like Doug's expectation that they need to have sex daily to make up for all the times she didn't sleep with him earlier, or Jamie's gift of cheap lingerie, and Doug's constant pawing at her and dumb, unfunny sex jokes. I mean, whatever, people who are in new relationships act like this too. But they don't have cameras following them around, recording everything for me to have to watch later. "I have a semi as we speak"? Doug: no one asked.

How dumb is Cortney's half-baked idea of "do[ing] makeup"?

Do I think Cortney is capable of launching her own makeup brand? No. She's barely able to use the words required to form those thoughts. I also think she has some idea that since she supported Jason for his six months at Fire Academy, now it's Cortney's turn to let him be the household's primary income earner while she pursues her dream -- the obvious difference being that his was structured training that led directly to a secure job while hers is ????? I mean, honestly, she doesn't even know. That said, she might be better positioned now to make inroads into becoming a full-time makeup artist now than she was a year ago because she's doing a TV show. Presumably, there are people at the production company that makes this show who could introduce her around to people who might be able to give her some direction or even mentor her. And even though Married At First Sight is a little-seen series on a marginal network, she could still get her foot in a lot of doors with brands or businesses that could use the exposure of being on even this nonsense. This franchise is probably not going to be a long-term gig for her; she might as well try now to parlay it into something that could turn into something later.

Aaaaaaand does Cortney really think Jason doesn't have the right to mention the debt she brought into their marriage when she's talking about starting her own business?

Girl, come on. If you were able to counter with your airtight business plan and revenue projections, that would be one thing. But you have no clue what you're doing and he's within his rights to mention past bad financial decisions that you're now both living with.

But also, like, what is Cortney's backstory?

Her dad is a firefighter and an entrepreneur? I assume they still don't approve of her marriage or else why haven't we met them yet? I'm not saying she's a con artist or whatever, but the total lack of her family in this series, from the start, is strange. Sure, she's talking about wanting to go home for Thanksgiving on her own, so presumably they haven't disowned her, but what IS the situation? We've seen Jamie's mother and she's a recovering (?) substance abuser. We've at least seen pictures of Jason's mother and she's dead. What is Cortney's deal?

What's Jason going to complain about now that he's done at Fire Academy?

Just kidding, it's obviously going to be Cortney's spendthriftiness and how she's probably going to half-ass starting her "business" like she has unpacking the apartment.

Since when are we still supposed to care about Vaughn?

I get that the subject of Vaughn would come up when Monet came to the housewarming party, where she met a bunch of strangers and has nothing else to talk about with any of them. But the show threw in its lot with Monet. Episode 4 is too late for Jamie suddenly to start thinking about Vaughn's possible loneliness and the fact that he has no guy friends to talk to when I feel PRETTY SURE he had friends before he was ever on a reality show. It's stupid enough that we have to follow Monet's dating adventures in what is supposed to be a show about the first year of marriage for the couples that stayed together; bringing Vaughn into the mix at this late date is going to be pointless torture and a waste of my time and why isn't it next Tuesday already?