Has Married At First Sight's Tom Actually Spent The Whole Experiment In Love With His Bus?

We're just really never going to acknowledge how horrible Nick was to Sonia before she moved out?

The best thing about this being the season finale (other than the reunion next week) is that we're almost done hearing all the euphemisms everyone uses for Nick's outburst at Sonia five episodes ago. "Sonia's frustrated in some parts of her marriage." You mean the part where her husband told her he didn't like her? "Sonia's learning how to forgive probably like she's never had to before." True: before, she never had a TV production force her to continue spending time with someone who told her he didn't like her. Sonia was "so emotionally taken aback by everything." "Everything" is a very concise way of describing "that time I told her I didn't like her," NICK. Sonia doesn't owe Nick anything like the kind of consideration she's given TO SOMEONE WHO TOLD HER HE DIDN'T LIKE HER. "But they're legally married!" Fuck off, "experts": you don't have to spend time with people who tell you to your face that they don't like you, I don't care how married you are.

Related: does Nick know we know what he said to Sonia that night?

As part of his preparation for Decision Day, Nick goes out for dinner with Dave and Ritch, his two bro-iest friends (and Danielle, Dave's girlfriend). When Dave asks why Sonia moved out, Nick pauses for like ten minutes, so Ritch announces, "He said he wasn't attracted to her." "Not directly," says Nick. Uh. Wrong? Did Nick forget there were cameras on him when this fight happened? And that his friends are almost certainly going to watch the show when it airs? There's no point trying to whitewash history at dinner when the actual record exists. (Though if Nick really doesn't remember how brutal he was, I guess it explains why he's been so impatient with Sonia about moving back. Explains -- doesn't excuse.)

Has Tom actually been married to his bus this whole time?

I would love to know how much emphasis Tom put in his questionnaire on his specific attitudes toward money and the comforts it can bring; if he had been transparent about how big a pinko he is, I doubt he would have been matched with a hardworking, driven young woman who dreams of owning several income properties. Even in the run up to Decision Day, Tom can't stop setting traps for Lily to reveal her ambitions and then silently judging her answers before countering with some horseshit like "I'd like to just be able to travel and live a life that's very carefree." Read: in that fucking bus. Also: this dude who just wants to work to finance his life of leisure is the one the "experts" picked to "give [Lily] some more stability"?! I think you got that shit backwards, guys. She's firmly planted; he's the one who thinks he can make his wife wait forever while he decides whether he wants kids at all, and who thinks that once he and Lily no longer have a direct line to the "experts," their relationship is going to collapse. Tom is the one who needs a fainting couch. ON HIS BUS.

Did Nick accidentally give away the true nature of the show?

When Nick and Sonia sit down with Rachel and Dr. Pepper on Decision Day, he describes his relationship with Sonia thus: "We're dating each other." There's an angry chord on the soundtrack as the camera cuts to Rachel and Pepper, stone-faced. "We're dating each other but married," Nick quickly corrects himself. No, dude, you're dating. Despite the high-concept premise and the insistence by an expert in each episode that "these are legally binding marriages," what's really happening is that a sub-eHarmony process churned up Sonia and you're trying to hang out and get to know each other without the option of ghosting each other (much).

How much was Lily coached for her performance telling Tom her decision?

I never really doubted that Lily and Tom would decide to stay together: they do have different visions for their lives, but nothing insurmountable. But Lily actually was convincing in her histrionics. "I want to look at the positives of our marriage....and I would like for us to give ourselves the opportunity to grow in love. But I have decided that I am going to stay married to you." Listening to it a second time, it's pretty clear the "but" was dropped into her speech in post, but still, her whole manner is so breakuppy! Full marks to her acting teacher.

Will either couple actually make it to their check-in?

Like Tom and Lily, Nick and Sonia agree on Decision Day to stay together. Then, unlike Tom and Lily, they go home to celebrate their continuing relationship by sitting very far away from each other and chatting like friendly work acquaintances on the elevator ride to an all-hands meeting. So I think Nick was right when he told Sonia he didn't like her and that he will continue not to like her when the show stops filming. Tom and Lily will, I think, actually be okay, provided that Tom does put the bus in storage and, ideally, forget that he ever owned it.