Adam Taylor / Fox
Floor Bourbon To French Whore's Bath: The Week's Best Moments For New Girl Nick
Schmidt's surrogate dad shows why he got the job...and why he maybe shouldn't have it?
As Fox continues its project of burning off its pregnancy-compressed fifth season of New Girl so it's all wrapped up in time for summer shows to take over mid-May -- yes, the last two episodes will air next week -- the benefit is that if one half of a night's New Girl programming isn't much of a showcase for one's favourite character, chances are the other will offer more to love. Case in point: this week. Nick -- who I adore -- had basically nothing to do in "Dress" except try to get hold of Reagan to invite her to Schmidt and Cece's wedding, which is obviously something that was necessary to set up Megan Fox's return in one or both of next week's episodes but was unsatisfying since no one actually wanted to pay for her to return this week so all we got of her was Nick and Cece reading her texts aloud, and Nick's best moment was...
...the reveal of him sitting in his room surrounded by the $200 worth of burner phones he'd bought to try to entrap Reagan into answering any of them in order to confirm for himself that she was ignoring texts from his real phone on purpose.
But "Return To Sender" gives Nick much more time to shine, as Schmidt's father Gavin tries to reconnect with Schmidt over a wine tasting, while Nick -- who's had to try to comfort Schmidt during his many past Gavin-related letdowns -- remains wary.
Gavin does manage to be there for Schmidt even in the face of daunting odds: to get back the deposit Schmidt had put down on the disused slaughterhouse that was supposed to have been the wedding reception venue, Gavin cleans up the place, during the course of which he gets attacked and robbed by "some kids who were using that dump as a place to practise their urban dancing," but despite the lack of a phone or wallet or watch, he walk-runs to meet Schmidt for dinner and offer his vineyard as an alternate venue for the wedding, which Schmidt is thrilled to accept. But along the way, Schmidt's surrogate dad has some great moments holding Schmidt's biological dad to account. Let's count them down from merely delightful to classic.
- Nick Displays Some Misplaced Haughtiness
It's fair(-ish) to call out Gavin for having been absent for most of the wedding planning process, Nick, but maybe listen to the words you're actually saying before you get too superior about it.
- Nick Prepares For Deprivation
Accepting Schmidt's request that he be nice to Gavin, Nick joins father and son for a wine tasting. When Gavin opens the door for other hard beverages to be enjoyed...
...Nick opens the floor.
Schmidt is disgusted and embarrassed that Nick might have liquor stored all over the apartment, but Nick's just thinking ahead: "Prohibition happened once. It can--" "IT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN," Gavin agrees.
Apparently the bourbon-appreciating gene skipped a generation.
- Nick Can't Commit To Sincere Emotion
When it seems as though Gavin has stood up Schmidt for dinner, Nick appears with his traditional cheer-up milkshake. Schmidt can't help seizing the moment to thank Nick for always having been there, and while Nick is touched, he's also confused and alarmed by his own emotions, and he and Schmidt quickly have to shake it off.
- Nick Overestimates His Earning Potential
This is probably also how Jess ends up resolving to keep her towels in her room: Nick appearing in her doorway to say he used one of hers -- not after a shower, but after he "sponged off."
"That's even worse!" Jess snaps. "You didn't even get clean before you used the towel."
- Nick Can't Quite Time Out His Exit Line
When Gavin invites Schmidt for dinner -- first saying he needs to go home and change shoes, which may be a flimsy pretext that allows him to weasel out of the obligation later, or may be the best proof yet that he and Schmidt really do share DNA -- Nick follows him to the elevator, confronts him about how much he's been absentee the rest of Schmidt's life, and tells him that he has to resolve to be there, "the day after, and the week after, and basically forever." "I will be there," says Gavin gravely.
