Free Winston!

Thus far, the TV characters we've identified as The Pierce of their respective shows have all been the ones which, if they were lifted out of the show (not disrupting it in the least), would make us happy. But today, we must turn our attention to a character whose departure from his show -- though such a move functionally wouldn't change it -- would be a pity. Dear New Girl: Please figure out how to use Winston. Love, Previously.TV.

Winston (Lamorne Morris) came into New Girl at a disadvantage: his character was replacing that of original loft roommate Coach, because while Damon Wayans Jr., who played him, had been available for the pilot, his other gig, Happy Endings, had been renewed, and because that was in first position, Wayans wasn't able to do New Girl when it went to series. (And now that Happy Endings, tragically, is no longer with us, Wayans will be free for a New Girl arc this season, which I wouldn't quite call the silver lining of Happy's cancellation, but something to look forward to, at least.) I would imagine that producers had to scramble to come up with a third guy to star on the show, and tried to borrow as many characteristics from Coach as they could, which is presumably why Winston had supposedly just returned from professionally playing basketball in Latvia despite barely being taller than Jess (Zooey Deschanel).

My recollection of Winston's appearances in the show's first season is hazy until the episode where an underemployed Winston gets way too involved with Jess's handbell club, and we learn how obsessively competitive he is. I'm sure it can't be literally true that this was the first character trait we ever learned about Winston, but it feels true. The rest of that season found Winston spending a lot of episodes trying and failing to get back together with his ex, Shelby (Kali Hawk), spinning his wheels as a nanny before landing an entry-level job in the field he actually wants to work in, and...getting his ear pierced. Seriously, that was his plotline in a VERY late-in-the-season episode.

Things only got worse for Winston in Season 2, as Jess and Nick (Jake Johnson) spent almost all of it working on becoming a couple, marooning Winston in storylines in which Schmidt (Max Greenfield) awkwardly tried to force their relationship to level up -- for instance, by supporting Winston in what he imagines are the sorts of black things Winston doesn't get to do because he only hangs out with white people, like acquiring "c'caine." This was also a period in which it felt like the show's producers were just randomly throwing character quirks at Winston, Mad Libs-style, to see what might stick. Winston thinks he has PMS! Winston takes pranks way too far! Winston's penis is always sticking out of his boxers! Winston loves baths! That Winston was way too attached to Nick's dad (Dennis Farina) is the only character note that, to my memory, actually came up in more than one episode.

Last night's season premiere was classic Winston in the sense that

1. his storyline was almost entirely self-contained
2. his storyline had one or more other characters referring to what he "always" does (taking his clothes off?) that we've never seen before...
3. ...in relation to a hobby we've never heard about (doing puzzles?)

Given what we know about Winston, how in the world would a fascination with jigsaw puzzles fit in (pun sort of intended)? Maybe if he were trying to get Schmidt to do a puzzle with the same number of pieces and see who would finish it first, but it's just Winston, in contented solitude, plugging away at this puzzle, which he is sucking at. I can tell you from extremely personal experience that voluntarily engaging in an activity in which one is not adept is something competitive people hate -- so this makes no sense. And then as an extra non sequitur of a character quirk thrown in when the episode is almost over: Winston is colourblind? And it's never come up before? Not just in the loft -- in his life? That's just silly.

Morris is a very funny actor, and I always love what he does with what he's given. The problem is that what he's given is an insult to his talents, and at this late state, I just feel like producers have had a lot of time to define his character. I mean, maybe they never will; Parks & Recreation has NEVER figured out how to use Ann (Rashida Jones), and presumably never will, now that she's leaving the show. But it's not like New Girl writers are incapable of doing this: I feel like they have a better handle on what Elizabeth (Merritt Wever) is all about than Winston, and she's only been in, what, half a dozen episodes? Morris deserves better, and soon.

Of course, this is a lot of words for me to use to express what Winston already did last season, when everyone forgot his birthday.

Yep.