The Return Of Mr. Cyr Is Parenthood's Early Christmas Present

Asperger's Is Being An Ass

Situation: Kristina is prepping her first Snowflake Academy open house.

What makes it awkward? While Kristina's helping a couple of kids rehearse a Roman history presentation, Dylan comes tearing in, clearly very agitated as she begs Kristina to give her a new partner because she can't work with him anymore.

How is order restored? Since Max is the most special snowflake in the whole academy, Kristina, soothingly tells Dylan that she can work with Max, and turns her attention back to the other students in time not to see Max show up to start haranguing Dylan about like-liking him and Dylan run away from him as fast as the stairs will allow.

Try "La Description Vague"

Today's project for Drew and Grandpa is trying to find a restaurant he visited right after he finished his tour of duty in Vietnam. Unfortunately for Drew, Zeek's expecting him to be able to find this place when basically all Zeek knows is that it's in France: he doesn't remember the name of the town he was in, never mind the actual restaurant. But when Drew, reasonably enough, tries to suggest not only that they're trying to find a needle in a haystack but also that he's not sure Zeek should be planning air travel given that he just had open-heart surgery, Zeek has to get all sentimental, saying that he wants to bring Camille there for their anniversary, and Drew can't very well refuse to help now that he knows that, so it's a good thing Zeek finally remembers that it was "Chez" or "Le" something and that maybe a woman's name was involved. Good luck, Drew, damn.

Braverman vs. Jones

While Kristina is trying to run a smooth open house -- particularly since Dylan's apparently-existent parents have just shown up -- Max is still browbeating Dylan about her affection for him; he's now actually messing up some math work on the whiteboard by writing a list of points on which he's superior to Aaron all over it. Getting increasingly upset, Dylan tries to get him to stop, which he doesn't, because he's Max, so the situation escalates; then he tries to get over his own challenge at expressing physical affection by touching her arm and she flips out, shrieking at him that he's harassing her and tearing out of there...just in time for Kristina to show up with Dylan's parents. Not the best PR the show could probably hope to get?

Winner: Dylan.

Suddenly I Cyr

Even after all the eyes Mark and Sarah were making at each other when Mark came out to introduce himself at Ruby's school production of Grease -- this flu that's going around is such a killer that it didn't just take out some Savannah and clear the way for Ruby, her understudy, to play Sandy; it took out the drama teacher too, forcing Mark to step in as a sub -- Sandy didn't pick up on any past relationship between them. So when she sees Sarah give him a tiny wave after the show, she comments on their knowing each other, and while Sarah tries to shrug it off by saying that Amber went there and Mark taught her, Hank blunders in and announces that Mark and Sarah used to be engaged. Hey, Hank? Communicating better doesn't mean communicating more. So just in time for Sandy to (apparently) start re-evaluating her breakup with Hank, now here's this other guy in the picture. Could Mark and Sarah really get back together and MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE?!

Bravermans vs. Joneses

In the aftermath of Dylan's breakdown, Mrs. Jones is furious at Kristina for not having heeded Dylan's many requests for her to intervene between Max and Dylan, and while Kristina tries to stay calm, this is still causing a giant public scene right in the middle of Kristina's open house. Adam steps up next to Kristina to support her, which he does by accusing Mr. and Mrs. Jones of being "absentee parents." GREAT JOB, ADAM. Mrs. Jones shoots back that Kristina's been running the school "only seeing through the lens of your son," which it's about time someone who's actually on the show said to her. And then they announce that maybe they'll just have to pull Dylan out of school. You know what? It might not be the worst thing.

Winner: The Joneses.

"Am I Supposed To Say You're The Best Thing That's Ever Happened To Me, Too? Because I Just Saw Mark Again."

When Sarah tries to beg off seeing Ruby play Sandy in Grease for a second consecutive night (as any of us would), Hank decides not to run from his feelings, or confrontation, for a change.

Stacking The Deck With Lasagna

Who called the meeting? Julia.

What's it about? Originally, she described this lunch to Side Bitch as something she owed to Joel, given their history and so forth, but then Side Bitch convinced her to turn it into a stern order to Joel to sign the divorce papers already. (Which by the way Julia still hasn't done either.)

How'd it go? Joel starts strong by arranging for them to meet at Vitale's, a place where they've apparently shared every important meal of their relationship together: they had their first date there, and the booth they're sitting in today happens to be exactly where they were when they found out Julia was pregnant with Sydney. (How the restaurant owners haven't therefore removed the booth and chainsawed it up in the back alley is a mystery to me, but anyway.) And after Julia nixes their usual order, opting for just coffee instead, Joel starts talking about the dreams he'd had for the two of them and what a great team they'd be, but that, when "things derailed" (which is a cute euphemism for "when I overreacted to what was, in the grand scheme of things, a relatively innocent slip on your part"), he was confused and hurt and all the stuff we already know. Julia, once again, takes the blame for that on herself, but Joel stops her, saying it doesn't matter what happened with Ed because Joel is the one who walked out on her and failed her and broke his vows and so on. It's really a whole monologue, but it boils down to what we already know, which is that he never stopped loving her and that he wants her back. Julia is, understandably, kind of stunned by this outpouring of emotion, but rather than pull a Dylan and shriek at him to stop harassing her, she grabs her purse and hurries out. So...no cannoli?

Drew vs. Zeek

Is it time again already to play Confused Old Man's Travel Agent? Luckily for Drew, it is! Except something's changed, and now Drew has to confess that Camille confronted him and that he told her that Zeek's been getting Drew to help him plan a trip. Zeek is upset (even after Drew insists that he didn't tell her any of the specifics about where Zeek had intended to go, PROBABLY BECAUSE DREW DOESN'T KNOW THEM AND NEITHER DOES ZEEK); he says he let Drew in on this plan because he thought he could trust Drew, besides which this was supposed to be a special trip for him and Camille since it might be-- And then he can't quite actually say "the last one," though we all know what he means, and Drew feels like a shit.

Winner: Zeek.

Side Bitch Out

After her uncomfortable Feelings Lunch, Julia is tearing around the office in a state when Side Bitch and his inappropriately loosened shirt and tie catch her up and ask how it went. Julia testily says that since things didn't go the way she expected, she didn't end up bringing up the papers. Side Bitch asks where that leaves them, then, and Julia sighs that nothing has changed: "We're fine." "Actually, we're not," he replies. He wants something more than whatever they've been doing for the past however long it's been, and when she promises that their relationship really is moving forward but that she just needs more time to get Joel squared away, Side Bitch asks what "more time" looks like. Julia's finally had enough of his shit and tells him, "Get out of my face, [Side Bitch]." And he is totally ready to do that, but first he needs to tell her that he's done being understanding and patient. He's pretty sure there's no amount of time he could give her that would actually stop Joel being an issue between them, because he thinks she's still in love with Joel. "Stop pressuring me!" Julia yelps. "Pressuring you," Side Bitch repeats. "Okay, Julia. All right. Pressure's off." Bye, Side Bitch! At least you'll only have a few more episodes in which to be reminded why it's such a bad idea to shit where you eat!

Are You Strong Enough To Be My Man? You're Not? Got It.

While most other TV characters would be moved by repeated entreaties from their exes about how much they want to get back together, when Julia catches Camille up on what's been going on in what was, until very recently, a love triangle, her reason becomes clear.

Sarah, You Done Goofed

When Savannah miraculously recovers and Sandy and Hank have to go break the news to Ruby that it's going to be one and done on her portrayal of Sandy (the one in the play), Mark and Sarah are left alone to catch up. She tells him about Drew at Berkeley, and about Amber's pregnancy. ("So you're going to be a, uh--" "Ah dah dah!" "A...thing!" "Nnnn, we don't say that. No.") When Sarah adds that Amber is due in six weeks, Mark -- as casually as possible under the circumstances -- says, "That is...just ahead of my wife." Sarah tells him how happy she is for him for what is juuuuuust on the right side of protesting too much, and while I believe she's happy for Mark that he's going to be a father since that was an issue in their relationship, there's also regret in her eyes, as there should be. "This is going to sound weird," she tells him, "but I'm glad I knew you." "I'm glad I knew you too," he replies. I'm glad you knew each other too but I'd have been gladder if you had FIGURED YOUR SHIT OUT BEFORE THIS OTHER LADY GOT IN THE MIX WITH HER STUPID BABY. I guess the producers decided that they had to bring Mark back for one last shot just so we wouldn't all think she going to end the Farewell Season with the guy she's obviously meant to be with, but I...wish they hadn't. Mark and Sarah! I'm so sad all over again now!

A dejected Zeek comes home from Drew's dorm to an icy Camille! She guesses he's still "sore about the trip," and he confirms that he is! He can't drive, everyone's treating him like an invalid, and now he's being prevented from spending his money the way he wants! Camille challenges him about the trip, thinking he just wanted to go to Mexico or some shit, but then he tells her all about it and she's overcome! "Well, we could still go. Can't we?" OH I SEE, CAMILLE. Now that it's somewhere you want to go, you're not worried? NICE. Anyway, she likes it better if it's not a surprise because it means they can look forward to it together! And when he tells her about the place he wants to take her, she looks it up on her iPad and melts into a little puddle!

Hank and Sarah come home from the play in uncomfortable silence! Finally, Hank dares to check in on Sarah: "You're happy. Right? I mean, in general?" Before she can answer, he barrels ahead, saying he knows he has baggage, including shitty Ruby and overbearing Sandy, and that he's "weird," but he wants to know: does she ever think her life would have been better or simpler if she'd stayed with Mark? Sarah is stricken, and doesn't answer at first, so Hank adds that he knows she's not going to get back together with Mark, but is a relationship with Hank really where she wants to be? Fortunately, before Sarah has to answer, Sandy and Ruby come barging in all full of drama and chaos! Finally, Ruby is good for something!

After having sat down with Max and apologized to him for not having done a better job of explaining about boundaries and how the scale of affections sometimes never moves and that you have to respect that (and after Kristina promised a tearful Dylan that she'd do whatever it takes to keep Dylan from transferring out of Snowflake Academy), Adam and Kristina bring Max over to the Joneses because it's time for a barrage of apologies! Kristina apologizes for not having addressed Dylan's concerns sooner! When Mr. Jones says they're more concerned with Max's badgering than they are anything to do with the school itself, Max says he wants to apologize to Dylan in person, but only if she wants to hear it because he's being respectful of how little she may want to see him right now or ever! Dylan comes out, Max gives her a very formal and wide-ranging apology for all his behaviour! Kristina is hoping this will be enough to convince the Joneses to keep Dylan enrolled! She looks hopefully from Mom to Dad! Mr. Jones says some jazz about how disruptive it is to change schools in the middle of the year and says they'll re-evaluate when the year is out! Dylan is happy, and shakes Max's hand, fondly calling him "Asperger's" again! Fences mended! Good luck with your "education," Dylan!

After calming down Ruby, Hank comes out and babbles for a while about the posters in the room before Sarah finally shuts him up by taking his hand and assuring him, "I'm happy. There's nowhere else I want to be." MAYBE BECAUSE THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE FOR YOU TO BE NOW THAT MRS. CYR IS PREGNANT???

Julia stomps into Joel's apartment with the divorce papers in her actual hands and says that they made a decision and have to follow through and that she's signing the papers now! And then she does! He chokes out the question of whether this is really what she wants, and she silently keeps holding out the pen to him, her eyes hard! He takes it and signs, shaking his head and quivering his chin...

...but maybe it wasn't really exactly what she wanted after all!

And then it's 3:16 AM and a terrified Zeek is very quietly trying to wake up Camille! HE CAN'T BREATHE! "FAREWELL SEASON" INDEED!!!!!