Josh Homme Is A Queen Of The Stone Age, But Not Much Of A Queen

Dan Savage

Role: Gay Pride Parade organizer/self.

Relation To Our Lead(s): You guys? None.

Best Line: Of the Mayor's request for an appearance by a particular nude drum major: "I think the last time he was in the parade was 1985?"

How many birds would we put on him? He may visit Portland a lot, but he is from SEATTLE.

Kyle MacLachlan

Role: Mayor Of Portland.

Relation To Our Lead(s): He's their mayor, their friend, and someone who frequently uses them as a two-person focus group.

Best Line: In a brainstorming session on who, in an age of gay acceptance, are the new outsiders who should have a parade: "Grave robbers?"

How many birds would we put on him? He keeps showing up in New York shows like How I Met Your Mother and Made In Jersey, but this role will always make me think of him as a Portlander.

Jeff Goldblum

Role: Dinner Party Guest.

Relation To Our Lead(s): Witty, urbane friend.

Best Line: "We went to a party the other day and took drugs!"

How many birds would we put on him? Is Portland a city where late-in-life recreational drug users would live? I guess probably more so than in, say, Tucson.

Vanessa Bayer

Role: Moleskine Owner.

Relation To Our Lead(s): She lives in a home where they are currently planted. "'Planted'?" Planted.

Best Line: "What are macros?"

How many birds would we put on her? Using Moleskine notebooks to make to-do lists seems pretty far outside the experience of the average Portlander, not to mention that drawing a Garfield is pretty banal. She should be using those books to sketch tattoo designs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEZJivH4dho

Josh Homme & Nick Swardson

Roles: Disappointing Gay Couple (which, if it sounds familiar to you: you're not the only one!).

Relation To Our Lead(s): Homme plays Carrie's brother Josh.

Best Line: "Can we set up the XBox?" - Josh. "We met at ESPN Zone. Yeah, we got into a bar fight, and then we ended up just making out in the bar. The whole bar freaked out." - Nick.

How many birds would we put on them? Going to an ESPN Zone is not very Portlandy, but to be fair, they're supposed to be visiting from out of town. At least they look outdoorsy?