Does Royal Pains Even Need To Bother With Intra-Character Conflict Anymore?

For the 100th (!!!) episode of Royal Pains, the show takes us back to the beginning with the return of a beloved face from the past: Jill! Hank can't help the love light from shining out of his eyes -- and why not, since every other woman he's dated since she left the Hamptons to pursue her dreams has failed to measure up! The only thing that might potentially come between them is the death of her colleague from Ebola -- you know, that old story. Elsewhere, HankMed's newest patient has a juicy literary secret, and that girl with the brothers and the sketchy aunt is back. As befits this milestone, we have 100 questions! (Not really. But a few!)

How happy were you to see Jill again?

I had actually forgotten how much I liked her in this role until I saw her back on the hospital set looking so cute. I realize that, no matter how much I love it (which is: far more than its staunch adequacy warrants), Jill Flint and Mark Feuerstein's chemistry was always one of the things it got right: her minxy air plays well against his sunny earnestness. I also just like Flint, but not enough to subject myself to The Night Shift.

Can any of us really accept the idea of Jeremiah having a romance with someone other than Divya?

Guys? ...I actually can. There was certainly a time when I was ride or die for these two. But there's no way the show, after going through such contortions to reunite Divya with Raj, she's going to do anything to destroy their perfect family, nor would I want her to: congratulations indeed to Reshma Shetty for her fertility, but she's about to be the mother of four. She's boring, and Jeremiah doesn't need or want that baggage.

Dating Cindy, his favourite cult author, makes so much more sense.

And someone who could inspire a buttoned-up nerd like Jeremiah to engage in cosplay must be very special.

Also where's Jeremiah's dog at?!

Jeremiah wasn't even last week's episode for us to check in on how he's doing with Mandelbrot. I DEMAND AN UPDATE.

Who said a Chrisley was welcome here?

Royal Pains has always been a safe haven for network cross-promotion, but it's the final season.

Surely this shithead could have earned her SAG card on Suits or something.

Why is Lena back?

We could have guessed after her first appearance that Lena's Swiss cheese-esque story wasn't over since we didn't get the requisite scene of Divya or Hank standing over a patient's hospital bed, smilingly telling him or her the danger had passed and he or she would be fine after a few days' rest. But this is the halfway point for the show's final season. What reason could there be for Evan to take a personal interest in Lena's situation, bonding with her over their shared history as orphans, and appealing to her to take care of herself for her brothers' sake...unless! Given that Evan and Paige's fertility problems are an ongoing story, is this headed toward Paige and Evan adopting all three kids instead of trying to conceive one? Speaking of Evan's status as an orphan...

Where's Eddie?

Whatever his big secret is, I'm sure it's going to be as boring as all that business with Emma was, so I don't care that much, but he's been gone for three episodes, which in a short season is a lot. The longer the secret remains as such, the lamer it's going to seem when the payoff turns out to be that Eddie didn't want to tell his sons he has high cholesterol or something.

And where's Paige?!

It's weird that Brooke D'Orsay didn't get to be in the 100th episode, right? Particularly when a fucking Chrisley made the cut.

Does this show really even need to bother with intra-character conflict anymore?

The meatiest plotline of "Doubt Of Africa" revolves around Hans, the dreamboat doctor who's come to New York with Jill because they've become the (gorgeous) faces of their organization's fundraising efforts, and the persistent cough (accompanied by a fever) that he thinks is probably strep. Hank agrees, but when Evan hears that Hans has just returned from Sierra Leone, he must follow protocol and put him under quarantine in case his fever is actually Ebola. It obviously is strep and not Ebola -- IT'S ROYAL PAINS -- with the showy but not especially serious related issue of an inflamed eye, thanks to strep colonizing a metal implant in Hans's face. When Hank goes in to gloat to Evan that he was right and Evan was overreacting by insisting upon a quarantine, it turns into an airing of grievances -- specifically, Evan's irritation that Hank doesn't respect his authority as the hospital's head administrator -- and a minor physical spat breaks out.

My question is: do we still need this kind of baloney? Does anyone still watching think there's any danger that there's going to be a permanent schism between the brothers Lawson? This is a medical show: there's plenty of story, stakes, and drama in the Patients Of The Week -- or, whatever, even if the drama or stakes aren't that high since this is Royal Pains, where Hank's lost like two people in eight seasons, at least there's story. What made the scenes in which Jill reconnected with her old friends so enjoyable is that they encapsulated what this show has always done best: let nice people be nice to each other. It sounds boring, but you know where else that happens? Parenthood. Friday Night Lights. That's not to say that this show is in any way on the same level of quality as those shows -- just that a series can work even if it's essentially about pleasant people doing their best and getting along, and that's really all we need these characters to do given that they only have four more episodes in which to do it.

So Jill and Hank are endgame?

Hank bids Jill farewell with a warm kiss on the cheek and the observation to Divya and Evan that Jill's found a great guy...to which they both crack up, because Hans is gay.

This changes everything! Hank had his dream girl in his arms and let her go!!! But I'm pretty sure this is just the first step on a path that ends with Hank realizing he misses treating patients who really need his help (as opposed to patients who can just pay him exorbitantly for his services), hands off HankMed to the eminently capable Jeremiah and Divya, and joins Jill in Africa AND LOVE. Right? If the season premiere had to convince us that finding the right woman is Hank's story of the season, it just doesn't get righter than Jill. CERTAINLY NO ONE NAMED CHRISLEY.