Photo: Dana Edelson / NBC

What Will Happen When Dwayne Johnson/The Rock Hosts Saturday Night Live (this time)?

Other than that he'll charm the pants off everyone watching, obviously.

11:30 PM Cold Open

At his Comedy Central Roast, Justin Bieber (Kate McKinnon) pouts through bits by Jeff Ross (Taran Killam) and Mario Cantone (Beck Bennett) before throwing a classic toddler meltdown on the dais and having to be led away by his nanny (Vanessa Bayer).

11:37 PM Monologue

Host Dwayne Johnson explains why his Furious 7 co-star Vin Diesel wasn't completely off-base in his prediction that their latest film will be a Best Picture Oscar nominee next year.

11:41 PM Commercial Parody

A trailer for the TV reboot of The X-Files, in the style of the Entourage movie trailer, also touts its superstar cameos, including Cigarette Smoking Man (Killam), the incestuous Peacock family, and Fox Mulder's sheepish abducted sister (Bayer).

11:45 PM

Frustrated by Republicans' letter to Iran disavowing his leadership, President Obama (Jay Pharoah) transforms into his angry alter ego, The Rock Obama.

11:49 PM Commercial Parody

Inspired by Starbucks's "Race Together" campaign, Taco Bell launches its own progressive initiative to encourage burrito fans to discuss reproductive rights with the chain's counter help.

11:51 PM

The longer the NCAA basketball tournament goes on, office workers involved in a March Madness pool start going actually mad.

12:00 AM

Dancing With The Stars welcomes a surprise contestant: Khal Drogo (Johnson)!

12:09 AM

George Ezra performs.

12:17 AM Weekend Update

Ted Cruz (Bobby Moynihan) defends his recent rehearsal of a kiss with his wife (McKinnon) before a campaign event by bringing her out and showing that they are, in fact, very natural at expressing physical affection...except they aren't; Pete Davidson appears to talk about HBO's upcoming Scientology documentary, Going Clear, only to be interrupted by contrary viewpoints offered by several cheerful but emphatic members of the church.

12:34 AM

The nurses at an animal hospital (Cecily Strong, McKinnon, and Johnson) are remarkably insensitive in telling patients' owners that their pets have passed away.

12:42 AM Short Film

At the auditions to replace Zayn Malik in One Direction, aspirants include Josh Groban (Killam), Blake Shelton (Bennett), and Rihanna (Sasheer Zamata).

12:48 AM

George Ezra performs.

12:54 AM

Backstage at an amateur wrestling event, two athletes about to go on and grapple (Johnson and Moynihan) discuss their plans for their spring vegetable garden plantings and what their Sleep Numbers are.

1:00 AM

People wave goodbye, hug.

For Dick Week we ask:

Which Dick would you most like to see Dwayne Johnson work with?

  • Bryan Dick
  • Kirby Dick
  • Kim Dickens
  • Lance Reddick
  • Dick Smothers
  • Ernest Dickerson
  • Janice Dickinson