Masters Of Sexts

Liv vs. Jake

At first, it's almost more of a polite fight: Liv (Kerry Washington) wants Jake (Scott Foley) to quit crashing at her place, for his safety, whereas he wants to stay, for her safety. She reminds him that she's "already being defended," and he decides to quit being cute and make subtext text, asking whether the President (Tony Goldwyn) knows that Liv's father (Joe Morton) is "Command." When she answers by not answering, he asks how Fitz can possibly defend her if he doesn't know from whom she might be in danger. Liv's not trying to hear it, and declares that she needs to go back into deep denial so that Eli doesn't hurt Jake (any more) or make Huck (Guillermo Diaz) kill (any more) people.

Winner: Liv, insofar as Jake does leave, which is what she wants. But this isn't over.

"The Job!"

Harrison (Columbus Short) calls Liv to tell her they "got the job!"

As their date is winding down, David (Joshua Malina) gets interrupted in the middle of telling Abby (Darby Stanchfield) that Olivia Pope & Associates should represent the family of the murder victim whose apparent killer -- a sexting Senator -- David's about to start prosecuting by Harrison calling Abby to tell her that "the lights are staying on!"

Huck is telling his AA meeting about how good it felt to fall off the wagon when the decision was taken from him by someone literally putting "whiskey" in his hand...

...when Quinn (Katie Lowes) gets a call about the job (and the phone blows her cover). YOU GUYS ARE NEVER GOING TO GUESS WHO THE NEW CLIENT IS if this is your first time ever watching TV!

Yes, We See What You Did There

"Do it, Cy," says James (Dan Bucatinsky). "Open your mouth." "Get that thing away from me, chuckles Cy (Jeff Perry). The camera slowly pans to show them to us, in bed.

But they're not doing anything dirty! James just wants Cy to give him a quote about Senator Pervert! EYE-ROLL. (Cy does not oblige with a quote; if a blowjob occurs, it happens offscreen.)

Meet The New Client!

If the White Hat Crew is representing him, he must be a real mensch, right? If you think that, I hope you're enjoying your very first episode of TV!

Meet Mrs. New Client!

She's such a super lady!

"One Mistake"

Liv has just finished telling the media outside the courtroom that the Senator only sexted one girl when everyone goes inside to hear testimony from three girls the Senator sexted -- and what he likes! The show's producers even borrow Weiner's "boobs hitting you in the face" imagery. Point is: for the Senator, sext recipients are like Lay's, in that he can't eat just one (and also, that he may be getting laid).

A Beaut From Butte

Re-Pete

Peter Foster (Patrick St. Esprit) is still dead; Fitz is taken aback to see an item about his apparent suicide in the paper. So maybe he wasn't just talking crazy when he said he needed to talk to the President! (JK, we figured that out as soon as Eli paid him a visit.) (And had him killed.)

Reflections And Deflections

Who called the meeting? Liv.

What's it about? Now that the Senator's full sexting history has come to light, OPA will need to change the story.

How'd it go? Oof, bad. Since they can't make the sext to Desiree out to be an isolated incident anymore, they're going to need to find other reasons she might have been killed, and hence other people who might have wanted to kill her: "You had other women, maybe she had other men," says Liv. Quinn: "Are we really going to--" "Slut-shame a dead girl?" drawls Abby. "[Shrug.] All aboard!" Everyone feels gross about it...but they do it anyway.

Was That A Cruelty-Free Blackglama?

#HotMicFail

Mellie (Bellamy Young) is savvy enough at this point before taking her mic off before ranting about Rep. Marcus, to wit: "Give any piece of trailer trash a push-up bra and a microphone and those stupid flyovers will eat it up like fried Twinkies." Unfortunately, Rep. Dipshit hasn't taken her mic off yet. Whoops.

2 Guns

Who called the meeting? Jake.

What's it about? He wants to join forces with Huck to fight back against Eli...who I guess is really named Rowan? Whatever: COMMAND.

How'd it go? Having just escaped from a nosy Quinn wanting Huck to open up to her about falling off the murder wagon, Huck's not thrilled to run into Jake -- particularly that Jake knows Rowan had him kill someone, and wants to use it against Rowan to take him down. Huck declares that no one can take down Command, and orders Jake to stay away from him, and from Liv. So: not so great.

"'First Catty'? That Doesn't Even Rhyme!"

Who called the meeting? Cyrus.

What's it about? He needs Mellie to do damage control on her hot mic fuckup.

How'd it go? A defiant Mellie says that they should let Rep. Marcus ride the legitimacy Mellie has just accidentally granted her all the way to the Democratic nomination, so that Fitz can destroy her in the general election. So Cyrus calls in Ethan (Vanya Asher) to tell Mellie all about the GOP's woman problem, particularly since Fitz's whole infidelity flap, and that in a head-to-head campaign against a female candidate, Fitz would almost certainly lose. So: bad meeting for Mellie, who has to eat crow.

Chick Clicks Dick Pic (Ick)

Whoops, another sextee has come forward, and this one says Redwood Johnson sent her a nood! Enjoy your next new strategy, Liv.

Farewell To An American Hero

Fitz threw Peter Foster a military funeral for no reason other than that he's a super-nice guy and definitely not because he has guilty feelings about anything! (Also Huck shows up.)

Remington Spiel

Cyrus learns about Peter Foster's funeral when James shows up to bitch that he had to find out about this nice, PR-friendly gesture on Fitz's part from the gravedigger's Instagram (what? James: weird follow!).

Cyrus meets with Rowan to complain that Rowan could have warned him that he planned to kill Foster!

While Rowan and Cyrus discuss the Foster matter and that the President now knows he's been killed, Jake is recording the whole thing!

Liv hasn't even had time to deal with the fact that Shelley Meyers has gone missing before Jake busts in and tries to tell her what he's learned about Pete Foster: something involving a missing flight plan!

Huck's been eavesdropping the whole time, and when the rest of the office empties out, he goes in to look at the evidence Jake left and sees that the number of the missing flight plan has a bunch of digits in common with a number that was tattooed on Pete Foster's body while Huck was totally killing him!

Nice By Accident

Fitz gets Cyrus to back off berating Mellie for turning Rep. Marcus into "a movement," and then takes Mellie's hand reassuringly, and it's a sweet moment until she realizes that he's only being kind to her because he's paying attention to something else, and tears out of the room. These two: not so happy.

I Ain't Saying He's A Dirt Digger

Who called the meeting? Cyrus.

What's it about? He's hatching a strategy to strike back against Rep. Marcus.

How'd it go? Since Cyrus wants Ethan to go to her hometown in Montana and find some scandal in her past, and since Ethan is not in a position to refuse even if he wanted to, it goes pretty well, and Ethan is duly dispatched.

You Can Call Me Liz

Who called the meeting? Liv.

What's it about? She figured out that Shelley checked into a hotel under the name Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and she tracked her down to convince her to confirm the Senator's alibi.

How'd it go? It starts poorly for Liv, as Shelley makes it clear that she's done with the marriage, and says she's not a good enough actress to convince a jury that she still loves her husband. But Liv has an idea for how she could save Richard from going away for murder while still maintaining her dignity -- and since the next scene finds Shelley testifying that she hates her husband and doesn't intend to remain married to him, if even she will get up in a court of law and proclaim his innocence, it's probably true, right? In conclusion, very effective meeting.

Flights Of Fancy

Who called the meeting? Jake and Huck.

What's it about? They need to tell Liv what they've discovered, which is that there's a discrepancy: the famous mission that made Fitz a war hero is the same one on which Foster seemed to be claiming he was the pilot.

How'd it go? Well, Liv's listening, so that's progress.

Jo Jr.

Who called the meeting? Ethan.

What's it about? He's reporting to Cyrus on his fact/dirt-finding mission to Montana.

How'd it go? Ethan is chastened that all he has to report is that, at age fifteen, Josephine Marcus walked into a maternity ward pregnant, and walked out minus a baby or birth certificate; he thinks this is useless information because he has no proof. But Cyrus is thrilled! Good meeting.

The Senator tells Liv that, even though he didn't kill Desiree, Shelley testified to a false alibi to protect him, but Liv knows that Shelley wouldn't lie for his sake -- not now!

Meyers is acquitted, but Liv figured out that Shelley murdered Desiree, and when Liv confronts her, Shelley's like, "[Shrug.]"

After telling Fitz that the Marcus threat will be neutralized imminently, Cyrus lets Fitz know that he's aware of Foster's funeral, and urges Fitz not to compromise his political future by "dredging up things that should stay buried," because if he doesn't, other people will start digging, and in that case Cyrus and Fitz both know what will be uncovered!

Quinn tries yet again to get Huck to open up to her, but he's got her number, and tells her she's not concerned: she's interested! And she needs to quit asking him questions!

After dithering for the whole episode about whether she wants to be in a relationship with him or not, Abby sexts David! She's right outside his door, and as to their coupledom: she's in!

Jake and Liv are recapping their terrifying yet absurd situation (plus kissing) when the President calls, and he's sad, and she kind of wants to encourage him to talk to her, but then Jake asks if she wants more wine, loud enough to be sure that Fitz hears him! What a bitch!

Fitz and his Secret Service goons stomp into Rowan's office, Fitz declaring, "It's a reunion -- one that's long overdue"! OH SHIIIIIIIIIIII