Should You Get Scalper Tickets For Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll?

What Is This Thing?

Johnny Rock is a functional drug user who long ago aged out of the life stage where it's still cute to try to be a rock star. When he comes on to a much-younger woman who's been making eyes at him in a bar, he gets two surprises: a smack in the face, and the news that he fathered her with a fan. The third surprise comes a couple of days later, when she tells him she wants to put his old band back together, and front it herself.

When Is It On?

Thursdays at 10 PM on FX.

Why Was It Made Now?

It's been a minute since FX was in the Denis Leary business, his Rescue Me having wrapped its final season back in 2011; with Sons Of Anarchy and Justified having both aired their final episodes within the past six months or so, there's room on the network's docket for a new show about a craggy antihero.

What's Its Pedigree?

Denis Leary created the show and plays Johnny Rock; his co-stars include Elizabeth Gillies (Victorious) as Gigi, his surprise daughter; John Corbett (Northern Exposure) as Flash, a former bandmate now touring with Lady Gaga; Elaine Hendrix (Romy & Michele's High School Reunion) as Ava, Johnny's backup singer/old lady; Robert Kelly (Louie) as Johnny's drummer; and Josh Pais (literally everything) as Ira, the manager who ankles Johnny in the pilot in one of its best lines.

Johnny: You're dropping me as a client?

Ira: [touching his heart] Not in here.

Veteran comedy director Michael Blieden (Broad City, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Childrens Hospital) helms at least eight episodes of this first season, according to IMDb.

...And?

The pilot closes with Gigi getting Johnny and the rest of his band, The Heathens, together so she can show them why she should help them revive the band from its moribund state. As the guys wait for her to show up, they have a very puerile conversation about how hot she is, with Johnny -- who just met her -- angrily ordering his colleagues not to think of her as a sexual prospect at all: "My daughter doesn't have a pussy, okay? She has a vagina, which is off-limits to each and every one of you!" As the conversation moves on to the code words the guys should use when discussing Gigi's genitals, we see she's standing in the hall hearing the whole thing and saunters in: "I vote 'pooch.' It sounds so soft and fluffy! Here's the deal, though: my pooch is not really up for grabs, and knowing myself as well as I do, I'm probably going to sleep with Flash, because-- Well, he's not that old, and he's not the bass player. Plus he's got this Slash meets Joe Perry elder statesman rock god kind of thing going on, which the rest of you absolutely do not." After efficiently deflating all Johnny's paternalistic bullshit, they launch into "Animal," and just like all those ex-Nickelodeon kids, Gillies really can sing. Johnny, who's been hoping to string Gigi along while spending her money pursuing what he assumes is her impossible dream, realizes her talent is undeniable and he's actually going to have to put in some effort.

Giving Gigi the power and agency is a strong way to close the episode.

...But?

Everything else stinks. Back when I wrote about Happyish, it was the latest thing to make me express the view that I'm sick of men, but jesus, Johnny Rock makes me yearn for Thom Payne. Sure, his primary interest was himself and his relentlessly examined life, but at least he did examine it; he also seemed to care about things other than himself, like his wife and son. Johnny cares about himself, drugs, and fame, and since I'm not convinced the first of those is that compelling, I don't care if he acquires the other two.

Most of the first episode is, I imagine, supposed to be an establishment of Johnny's antihero credentials: he's spent his adult life screwing over his friends and literally screwing their girlfriends and wives, and apparently considers it a mark of significant personal growth that he now does prescription drugs instead of cocaine. Even his hitting on a girl who turns out to be his daughter seems like the "nightmare scenario" that a legendary swordsman would be secretly proud of.

Also, this pilot includes a pivotal scene in which Johnny -- incensed at a pack of paparazzi for being less interested in shooting him than they are Brody Jenner -- lets loose a furious monologue about Kim Kardashian's having become famous as a consequence of a sex tape. Midway through the year 2015, this occurs -- although I guess I should be impressed that Leary's contemporized it by closing it with "I mean, is that what it takes to be famous nowadays, huh? Suck a semi-famous penis? 'Cause if it is, sign me up! I'll suck Bruce Jenner's cock right here in front of the Gansevoort Hotel -- that's if he still has one." OOOOOH, EDGY. DENIS LEARY WATCHES DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS.

If a Kardashian rant isn't enough to convince you of how "first thought" this whole thing is: it's literally called Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll. And its protagonist is named JOHNNY ROCK. And that wig of his isn't the punchline anyone on the production thinks it is.

...So?

If you're way into Leary, you will probably find this delightful. I was indifferent to him going in; now I'm opposed. Not for me!