Fiona Wakes Up In Rock Bottom, Wisconsin

We must be close to the end of the season, because our two biggest plotlines -- Fiona's legal issues, and Frank's failing health -- seem to be coming to a head. We open on Fiona high off her face at Robbie's (definitely on ecstasy, but that seems not to be the only thing); when she comes to, she's removed her ankle monitor, not that it matters, because it's already beeping. Her siblings are, obviously, well-practiced in tracking down a substance abuser, but when Debbie and Ian go to Robbie's, Fiona has already gone...and left her phone, coat, and shoes. Carl gets Bonnie and her newly stolen Ford Contour to drive him around to local hospitals; no dice. Sometime later, Fiona wakes up in a van parked at a gas station and stumbles into the bathroom; when she comes out, the van is pulling away, stranding her there. A nice man offers to let her use his phone to call for help, and wraps her in a moving blanket inside the gas station's convenience store. Lip's not entirely sure where Sheboygan is, but he figures it out, comes to get her, and tells her maybe it's okay if she doesn't identify herself as the big sister taking care of the family anymore, because there's more to her than that. By the end of the episode, she's at her P.O.'s office, facing up to her violation and ready for the consequences.

Meanwhile, in the slapstick storyline, Frank is so close to death that Sammi is pretty sure, at one point, that he actually has died. But Sheila is so determined to get him to marry her so that she can adopt kids from her ex's reservation that when the dealer who's come to the house to sell Sammi liquid morphine hooks her up with a taxi driver/unlicensed doctor, she pays her entire life's savings -- $26,000 -- for what they're told will be a liver transplant for Frank. Except, whoops, when it's over and the crew has cleared out before the ambulance gets there, the actual doctor at the actual hospital reveals the truth: Frank didn't get a liver; he lost a kidney. All the kids get texts telling them to come to say what will probably be their last goodbyes/watch Frank marry Sheila, and no sooner has the ceremony ended than Frank's medical team rushes in: Frank's current degraded state has caused him to be moved up the list, and he's next in line for a liver! Seems like a waste of a perfectly good liver to me, but what do I know.

Elsewhere: Veronica and Kevin have their twins just in time for Kevin to clash with Mickey over the division of revenue from the rub-and-tug; at the end of a crime spree that includes car theft and candy robbery, Carl learns that Bonnie and her family (minus her dad, who's in prison for stealing ATMs) are all living in a van; Ian's strange behaviour is starting to raise alarms for Mickey; and Lip is in the middle of finals hell, omg!!! It's an eventful episode to be sure, but how Shameless-y is it?