Ian Goes Back To Basics On The Base

In this penultimate episode of the season, everyone seems to be heading toward various kinds of closure. In some cases -- for Lip, and for both Kevin and Vee -- that means coming to terms with life as it is and realizing it's actually pretty good...or, at least, better than for the likes of Ian and Sammi, paying for past mistakes in ways they were definitely not prepared for. That Fiona's kind of in the middle of the pack seems fitting, since she's also kind of in the middle of the two men she's been trying to love all season.

Who's having the very worst week as we brace for the season finale? Let's start with whose week was the best and rank them from there.

1. Deb
   Honestly, every week that goes by without Deb getting intentionally "accidentally" pregnant with Derek's baby, she's my shining star. I hesitate to say there's any benefit to Ian's incarceration and the chaos it's wrought among his siblings...except for just that one.
2. Kevin & Vee
   I'll say this for their make-up sex on a pool table under some busted plumbing spraying water everywhere: points for style. I like these two together, and their time apart does seem to have made them each realize the part s/he was playing in antagonizing the other, so I'm glad they've reunited and am rooting for them hard.
3. Monica
   Ugh, I knew this bitch would be back, and seeing her use her own bipolar diagnosis to manipulate Ian at one of the most vulnerable moments of his life was grotesque. Who is she to tell Ian Mickey's not right for him because he wants Ian to take his medication? What on earth qualifies her to make judgments about anyone else's safety or best interests, least of all the children she never sees? I only wish Mickey had overheard their conversation because I'm pretty sure he'd know the perfect punishment to mete out for her. All that said: from her perspective, the final moments of the episode probably represent an uncommon triumph given the state of her unmedicated life right now. But we'll get to that.
4. Lip
   Remember earlier in the season when Lip ended up outside a coffee shop with a machine gun in his hand? Good, because it's important to remember that moment when Lip could have really fucked up his life before anyone calls him a sellout for wearing a suit to a nice party and then going for dinner with someone who works in the field he eventually wants to get into. That's what Lip should be doing as a college sophomore, I don't care what neighbourhood he grew up in. EVERYONE LEAVE LIP ALONE. And Lip: please, please don't backslide next week.
5. Fiona
   Speaking of backsliding...
   

   Oh, Fiona. I appreciate that the show has at least tried to make Sean a more viable option for Fiona the longer the season has gone on -- even his ex-wife approves of her -- but for Sean to be merely less gruff and closed-off than he formerly was really still doesn't put him in the same league as Gus, the world's most perfect man. Who's on his way home from his tour to work on his relationship with Fiona. Which I really wish she would remember before she spends another night alone in the diner with Sean.

6. Frank
   I don't care that we see Frank trying, for a second, to do the right thing with Bianca by letting her family know precisely where she is as she hits rock bottom, a.k.a. Frank. I'm not going to get into how gross it is that they bone except to remind everyone that a man who is a gross vagrant on his best day is not going to smell any better when he's covered in sexual fluids and terror sweat from thinking he's about to get flattened by train tracks. And yet, through it all, this is still the best things have gone for Frank all season. His troubled doctor girlfriend who can DEFINITELY do better is taking him overseas: Bianca's accidentally breaking her hyper-expensive bottle of scotch is the worst thing that happens to Frank in this episode -- maybe all season, and yes, I'm including the time he got shot.
7. Mickey
   As shattering as it is for him to have to visit Ian in military prison, at least now he knows where Ian is and that he probably can't get into any new kinds of trouble. And having Ian taken care of elsewhere for a while allows him uninterrupted leisure time to come up with plans to avenge Ian by attacking Sammi. Roofie-ing her seems like a good start, until it apparently kills her. But I guess the disappointment of not getting to torture her is mitigated by her being...you know, dead. At least, it is for me! Except....
8. Sammi
   God, of course this animal isn't dead. She's got cockroach powers. And yet, her getting locked into a storage container and loaded onto the back of a truck is still probably going to end better than what Ian's gotten rolled up into now.
9. Ian
   No, no, no. No.
   

   At least if he were in a storage cube, he'd be warm. If a few days with Monica is what it takes for Ian to see first-hand why it's important to stay on your Lithium, then I guess it will have been worth it, but at this point in the episode I really wanted seven SWAT teams to descend on Monica and send her to Leavenworth.