After Teen Mom, Filling The Judge Vacuum

Last night, MTV's Teen Mom aired its very last episode (er, not counting the reunion "special" which you know that whore Dr. Drew will probably manage to drag out to two hours). Will fans still be able to follow the movements of Amber, Farrah, Maci, and (to a lesser extent) Catelynn via the weekly "celebrity" magazines? Sure they will. And yes, both Teen Mom 2 and 16 And Pregnant will still serve up content starring ill-informed minors who believed they were probably infertile because they'd Done It one time without contraception and didn't get pregnant or didn't go on The Pill because they didn't want to get fat and I assure you that both of these examples are real. But are those glossy tabs and TV series really enough to satisfy your need to judge strangers? If your answer is no, please heed the following recommendations.

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Gary and Amber fighting: There are lots of reality shows about couples in turmoil -- in fact, Joe and Teresa are currently in the process of falling apart on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. You can also count on Dr. Phil to feature a contentious couple in nearly every episode, and that shit's on daily!

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Ryan and Maci's wrangling over custody: The custody question seems to have been settled on Switched At Birth, but it just takes one transgression on either parental side for it to come up again.

If What You'll Miss Most Is: the questionable parenting: America's Supernanny is not as good as the original -- not even close -- but it'll do in a pinch. Monster In-Laws and Pregnant In Heels are also pretty special.

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Farrah's delusional belief in her pursuit of a job she is not qualified for (viz modeling): Kim Zolciak on The Real Housewives Of Atlanta thinks she is a singer. She is not.

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Catelynn and Tyler constantly congratulating themselves/each other on their great decisions: Check out TV's smuggest couple: Jane and Brad on Happy Endings.

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Amber's terrible fashion and grooming choices: What Not To Wear. (Someone might nominate Amber as a contributor, actually, if she wasn't such a dick that no one who knows her would want her to have a $5000 shopping spree.)

If What You'll Miss Most Is: Farrah fighting with her mom: Jenelle and her bitch mom are still holding it own on Teen Mom 2.