After James Franco Remakes Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, Which Unexpected Artists Will Lifetime Collaborate With Next?

It's happened pretty slowly, but Lifetime -- formerly "Television For Women" (meaning moms, and not especially discerning ones) -- is kind of turning into a somewhat respectable cable network. Earlier this year, it earned a ton of buzz for A Deadly Adoption, its totally deadpan non-spoof spoof of virtually any Lifetime Original Movie about some lady ruining people's lives by acting all crazy. UnREAL, its behind-the-scenes dating-show drama series, has landed on many critics' best-of lists -- including mine! And just yesterday, it was announced that octuple-threat James Franco will produce a remake of the network's infamous (mostly for its idiotic title) Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, with original star Tori Spelling returning -- this time, to play the protagonist's mom.

We applaud the network for being daring enough to explore the possibilities of its "For Women" mandate, and working with artists who, even a couple of years ago, no one would ever fathom being associated with Lifetime. And since we're up, we're going to go ahead and predict the creative people Lifetime's going to reach out to next, and what they might collaborate on.

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Current High-Profile Project: Broadway's Hamilton (and...the new cantina music in The Force Awakens).

What He Could Do With Lifetime: A musical drama -- think Nashville -- set in Miami's club scene.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: Benjamin Bratt as a pianist facing an arthritis diagnosis; Naya Rivera as his estranged singer daughter.

Lennon Parham & Jessica St. Clair

Current High-Profile Project: Co-starring in the USA Network sitcom they created, Playing House.

What They Could Do With Lifetime: Piggyback on that notorious Jezebel story with a sitcom set at a hipster-magnet L.A. nursery school.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: June Diane Raphael as the dippy, uncredentialed director; Rob Corddry as her passive-aggressive husband; Jamie Denbo as the queen bee of the parents' association.

Lee Daniels

Current High-Profile Project: Fox's Empire.

What He Could Do With Lifetime: Follow up 2012's all-black Lifetime remake of Steel Magnolias with a contemporary remake of Valley Of The Dolls featuring women of colour.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: Yaya DaCosta as model Ann; Naturi Naughton as actress/singer Neely; Hannah Simone as (eventual) porn performer Jennifer.

Joss Whedon

Current High-Profile Project: None since he basically flipped off Marvel post-Age Of Ultron. (I guess he's still credited on Agents Of SHIELD, but no one thinks he's making many visits to the writers' room, right?)

What He Could Do With Lifetime: Lifetime could use an action thriller with female protagonists. What if Whedon cooked one up about a pair of ex-federal agents who've teamed up to infiltrate the radical anti-choice movement and are trying to bring it down from within?

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: Eliza Dushku as an ex-ATF agent; Tessa Thompson as a former CIA agent recruited in college fighting to avenge her younger sister, gunned down in a clinic while getting a pap smear.

Nic Pizzolato

Current High-Profile Project: True Detective (sort of).

What He Could Do With Lifetime: We, as a nation, can probably agree that after Season 2 of True D, Pizzolatto could stand to crawl out of his own ass for a little while. Perhaps he could do that -- and poke fun at one of his most notorious True D S2 mistakes -- by creating Blue Balls In Your Heart, a sitcom about the sassy old broads who staff a Knoxville urology clinic.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: June Squibb as the clinic director and senior urologist, who refuses to retire; Loretta Devine as the brassy head nurse; Judy Greer as their incongruously mousy receptionist.

Justin Theroux

Current High-Profile Project: His face is known for starring in The Leftovers on HBO, but he's also a screenwriter, who co-wrote, among other things, the upcoming Zoolander 2.

What He Could Do With Lifetime: Since we know he's comfortable satirizing the world of fashion, he should develop a dramedy set at the offices of a J. Crew-esque catalogue.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: Kathryn Hahn as the Jenna Lyons-esque CEO, who starts to lose her touch after a falling-out with her best friend/fashion inspiration, played by Keiko Agena.

David Lynch

Current High-Profile Project: Showtime's Twin Peaks, coming eventually.

What He Could Do With Lifetime: Pregnant Paws -- a Lifetime Original Movie about a woman harboring doubts about her high-risk pregnancy that follows all the classic beats of the genre right up to the point when she gives birth to a bear cub and turns into a were-bear herself.

Headliners Famous Enough For Billboards But Not Too Famous For Lifetime: Naomi Watts as the mother/were-bear; Kyle McLachlan as her husband/first mauling victim.