Television

Deadly Spa Really Slept On A Lot Of Deadly Spa Possibilities

Tara Ariano
 

As deadly spas go, the deadly spa in Lifetime's Deadly Spa was pretty deadly, not to mention spa-like. And while it was true to the film's title for someone to get trapped in a rapidly heating sauna in the first half-hour, your average spa is rife with potentially fatal items. What should kill the patrons of Deadly Spa II? We have some ideas.

  • staph germs on the filthy manicure tools
  • smothered by super-fluffy terry cloth robe
  • aspirating therapeutic mud
  • all that terrible fiber-rich spa food gives you fatal diarrhea
  • eyeball ripped out with those extremely pointy tweezers during a brow wax; bleed out
  • wrapped way too tight in seaweed
  • Brazilian wax becomes a direct cause of a cardiac arrest
  • scalp ripped off during blow out when blow dryer malfunctions and goes in reverse
  • ricin in the cucumber water
  • bludgeoned and/or crushed by hot stones
  • aromatherapeutic shower tablets contain lavender and also mustard gas
  • "non-surgical face lift" less non-surgical than advertised
  • ultra-extreme exfoliation
  • allergic to one of the ingredients in a bird poo facial (really could be any ingredient -- maybe oatmeal???)
  • fart during a massage; die of embarrassment
Tara Ariano