Rooney Mara And Her Dead Eyes Would Like To Sell You Perfume

Who’s Cashin’ a Cheque? Rooney Mara.

How Dependent Is The Ad On Her Celebrity? Hard to say. It's a fragrance ad, and she looks glamorous enough to...smell nice, I guess? But it also features vignettes that tip the less plugged-in viewer as to what her job is, showing her at a photo shoot and getting her makeup done and so on. I guess not very.

On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Glamorous Is The Product She’s Promoting? 10. Perfume is the hard liquor of beauty.

How Can We Humorously Connect This Spot To Her Best Known Role? "Here's an idea for Lisbeth Salander: make yourself smell SO bad that no one will want to get close enough to assault you."

Is This A Cheque Worth Cashin’? Probably; it's a high-status product, and the spot's directed by David Fincher. That said, I wish he had done as good a job directing her here as he did in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and, for instance, cut some of her more...uh...unique looks. Because while I certainly understand that she has a face and figure for high fashion, she's less successful at being winsome or relatable. For example: HAAAAAAARGH, what is this barely passable alien replicant planning to do to me?!

Screen: Calvin Klein/YouTube

And RUN, lady, this dead-eyed monster's going to strangle your dog!

Screen: Calvin Klein/YouTube