Someone Tell Ralph Lauren There Are Some Things You Can't Do On Galloping Horses

Five days ago, I moved from Los Angeles to Waimea, a town of around 10,000 people in the ranch country of Hawaii's Big Island. What do you do in ranch country? Duh, you ride horses. ...Okay, I don't plan to do this every day, but my sister and two little nieces did spend yesterday afternoon horseback riding. If you've done it, you know it's pretty fun, but it's also really bouncy -- just ask my butt.

So, given our choice of recreation yesterday, the airing of this old ad during the latest Late Night With Seth Meyers captured my attention more than it might have otherwise.

I understand that Ralph Lauren's whole deal is creating a world that's both rugged and elegant and doesn't reflect the way anyone who values either of those qualities actually lives. And that Bruce Weber, who directed the spot, is interested in creating beautiful tableaux that aren't necessarily supposed to stand up to much scrutiny. And yet.

Sure, I'm hardly an experienced horsewoman. But I didn't let my steed, Mongo, get up to a gallop even this fast for fear that the concussion would bounce my phone out of my bra, and these two are trying to french? Save it for the stinky barn, idiots.