To Entrap A Pakistani Intelligence Officer, You're Going To Need Hardcore '80s Realness

Sad Dad Attempts Amends

Situation: Philip and Paige are still sharing a house.

What Makes It Awkward? That whole thing where he went fully apeshit on her last week and ripped up her Bible, because now he feels bad and she is giving him two cold shoulders.

How is order restored? Definitely not through his attempts at classic dad humour, like a week-early April Fools joke and an A+ "Leggo my Eggo" reference, which Paige ignores. It seems like the ice might be starting to melt when she approaches him to express her interest in spending the whole summer as a CIT at a Christian sleepaway camp, and he says he'll talk to Elizabeth about it...but then Elizabeth finds evidence of Paige practicing to forge her signature on the permission form, and that's off the table. TALK ABOUT YOUR COLD WAR, AMIRITE?!

ISIs: We're Watching You

Alert Type: ISI Alert.

Issue: After hearing that the photos they took at the Contra training camp have been leaked to South American newspapers, Philip and Elizabeth learn that their new assignment is to recruit Yousaf, an agent of the ISI (Pakistan's intelligence service), who's coming to town for some kind of MacGuffin talks.

Complicating Factors: Even though Elizabeth puts on full Dynasty glamour to run into Yousaf in his hotel lobby and determine that she will have noooooo problem embroiling him in her sexspionage, Philip wants to use one of his side pieces instead -- a lady named Annelise, who's married to the Deputy Undersecretary of Defense, and who thinks Philip is running her on behalf of "Swedish Intelligence," which...is that even something Sweden has? For what, to make sure other countries aren't ripping off proprietary designs for Billy bookshelves?

Resolution: Annelise is great at flirting and has no problem with the first phase of her mission.

Spoiler: Elizabeth cautions Philip before he approaches Annelise about this that she might not be ready for the actual sex part, and she...is right.

We're Not So Different, You And I

Who called the meeting? Arkady.

What's it about? He's letting Gaad know that his bosses are going to go along with the official version of the Vlad story.

How'd it go? Awkward. First of all, Gaad already knew the Soviets had backed down on this matter, so he says he thinks Arkady's actually there to let Gaad know HE knows where Gaad lives. Arkady doesn't deny this, and also shows Gaad a photo of Vlad and tells him a little about his background so that Gaad feels guilty that he got killed. But Gaad just counters with his reminiscences about Amador. So: mutually assured destruction is still what keeps these two in their jobs, at least for now.

A Break In The (Brief)Case

Apparently, Gaad's spent his time away from his regular job taking smart pills, because he hits the ground running on his first day back. As Stan shows off his Crazy Wall of anti-Oleg evidence, and the table full of physical evidence from Emmett and Leanne's murder, Gaad is immediately drawn to the briefcase, and as Stan watches in awe, Gaad points out how weird it is that Emmett would have even brought a briefcase on a vacation in the first place, and then messes around with it and finds the hidden compartment Stan couldn't (or didn't look for). Gaad notes that drug dealers have concealments, "but not like this. This is an intelligence service." DUN!

These Two Are Still Doing Sex

I mean, I think that's the only reason this scene happened? Nina and Oleg have a post-coital conversation about their lives in Russia and what brought them here. Oleg doesn't regret leaving Russia -- he couldn't wait to leave, in fact -- because his family was rich and connected and he wanted to prove himself and serve his country. Then she tells him a story about being a Young Pioneer and getting a Lenin pin and how much it meant to her because she had nothing even close to luxury. She had a simple life then, and she liked it: "Here my life is so...tangled." And when he appreciatively says that she's a person who could do anything, she meaningfully sighs, "I know. That's what I'm afraid of." BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY DOING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING JUST TO SURVIVE, GET IT?!

What Are The Stakes Again? Oh Right.

Who called the meeting? Philip.

What's it about? He wants to catch up Kate on the Yousaf mission.

How'd it go? Crappy. At his latest check-in with Annelise, she told him that Yousaf is the #2 guy in his office, and that his boss, Javid, doesn't really tell him anything; it'll be a couple of years before Yousaf gets promoted to a position of any real import -- years they don't have. So Philip, obviously starting to worry about Annelise, tells Kate he thinks they should shut down the operation...in the course of which he has to admit that he subbed in Annelise in Elizabeth's place. Kate's like, that seems like a bad option, and when Philip sneers, "Can we move on?," she finally asserts herself, saying she's "not a dolt." She expects him to respect her, because if things go south, her "head will roll." Philip's like, well, if we fuck up, we'll get killed, so talk to The Centre and get back to us. So much for respect?

These Two Are Still Having A Fake Relationship That May Or May Not Include Sex

Stan only has a second to talk to Nina (meaning, no fooling around), so he's just going to ask her if she remembers "chaos at the Rezidentura" when Leanne and Emmett were killed (which she denies), and then tell her about Sandra's affair. Nina's like, "So are you," which, burn. Stan knows (obviously), and he admits that his marriage has been dead for a while, but that it's still a shock. Nina says it makes her sad to see him sad, but she doesn't really seem like she's feeling much of anything, and Stan's too preoccupied with his own shit to notice, which kind of works out well for her, though as Sandra said, for a counter-intelligence officer, Stan is really not that observant about the secrets the ladies in his life are totally keeping from him.

After coming back to the U.S. from Nicaragua to deal with a "personal emergency" and posing as a cop to get information he probably shouldn't have, Larrick finds his way to a junction box and starts messing around with it!

From there, Larrick ends up in a perfectly nice family home, lurking around but escaping discovery as they go about their day!

From there, he goes down to the basement and follows more cords along the ceiling, apparently thrown by what he sees!

Meanwhile, in the Secret Basement Of Spycraft, Philip gives Elizabeth a drug she's going to dose (kill) Javid with while he swims! She also takes this opportunity to tell him about the forgery, her forbidding Paige to go to camp, and that he's too easy on her! They need to get her ready for the real world, I guess by being super-mean!

And then Larrick's found his way to the Secret Basement Of Phones, where Phone Guy drinks coffee and reads Scientific American! Not such a bad gig, really!

Of course, it gets a little less chill when Phone Guy turns around and sees Larrick there!

But Phone Guy has time to hit a button and blow up the phone control panel...

...before Larrick shoots him dead! The box is all fucked up, BUT IS IT FUCKED UP ENOUGH?!?

Wound Open, Salt Everywhere

Who called the meeting? Stan.

What's it about? He wants to try to find out more about Leanne and Emmett from Jared.

How'd it go? Well, it's super-awkward. Stan clearly feels like an asshole trying to pump the only survivor of his family's massacre for intel about his parents. Jared loyally insists that his parents were good, normal people: his mom was on the PTA; his dad coached T-Ball. If they had a place in the house where they hid stuff, he never knew about it, or thought they were keeping secrets from him. Jared asks if Stan thinks his fourteen-year-old sister also had secrets, and Stan's like, "I'll bet she did, and that's okay." But when Stan says that the more Jared tells him, the closer Stan will get to finding out who killed his parents and why, Jared finally softens, and looks at the (terrible) sketches of Philip and Elizabeth in their real old disguises...but we leave the scene before we find out whether Jared recognizes either of them, and before we see Stan go take a hot shower with bleach to try to clean away the taint of what he just put Jared through.

While Philip listens on the other side of the hotel-room wall, IT'S BUSINEEEEEESS, IT'S BUSINESS TIME! for Yousaf and Annelise!

Down at the pool, Elizabeth doses Javid with a drug that will make it look like he had a heart attack!

A post-coital Yousaf says he's going to have to tell Javid that they need to get to DC more often! On the other side of the wall, Philip smiles! Mission accomplished, Annelise! She was ready after all! Suck a dick, Kate and Elizabeth -- after all, Annelise did! (Presumably!)

Except, whoops, she wasn't ready at all! Annelise busts into Philip's room and starts shrieking at him that she's a pimp who turned her out! Philip drags her into the bathroom to keep her quiet, hissing, "You don't think it kills me to watch the woman I love sacrifice herself like that? Give herself to another man? Even if it is for a cause bigger than either of us? It is not something I take lightly, EVER!" Okay, first of all, how many bitches think they're the ones Philip means when he refers to "the woman I love"? Second, I don't think he's talking about Annelise here at all! And third, Annelise really believes that Sweden has causes "bigger than either of" these people? Like what, protecting the Carlsberg recipe?!

Larrick gets the control box to work and does the early '80s equivalent of *69! He gets Kate! He pretends it's a wrong number! She apparently thinks nothing of it! NICE SPY INSTINCTS, KATE, THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHIT THAT KEEPS PHILIP FROM RESPECTING YOU!

An exhausted Philip comes home to find Elizabeth smoking a secret cigarette! He warns Elizabeth, "They'll smell it," which just makes her take a defiant drag! He relents and gets her a plate to ash in, because if you haven't earned a cigarette after taking out the ISI's #1 guy and avoiding having to fuck anyone for once, WHEN HAVE YOU?!