Riley's Got A Heart As Big As Her Boobs
The "hooker with a heart of gold" is a time-tested pop-cultural trope, as the countless teenaged fans of Pretty Woman can attest. But I have to hand it (heh) to The Client List for pushing the archetype even further. What turned me off about the show's pilot was a scene in which Riley (Jennifer Love Hewitt) felt free to offer marital advice to the wife of a man she was employed to masturbate in an elegant spa-like setting; I objected to the idea that a prostitute -- even one who scruples not to go further than third base -- would declare herself a marriage counselor. But three episodes into The Client List's second season, I've embraced it on its own ridiculous terms.
The hilarious thing about The Client List is the way it normalizes sex work. It's possible that I missed all the Season 1 episodes in which Riley vacillated between defending her new job and having doubts about it -- but maybe I didn't; she was giving Handrew Jacksons before the pilot was over, so maybe she started seeing all those tips (in her envelope at the end of the day, sickos!) and decided there wasn't anything wrong with giving the client what he wants. Regardless, The Client List gives the viewer the impression that performing handjobs on strange men is basically no different than giving them manicures.
In fact, as conducted by Hewitt's Riley, a full release massage seems as wholesome as a butterfly kiss. It helps that 99% of her clients are attractive, well-toned men who presumably wouldn't have a terribly hard time getting wristies for free. The doughiest one doesn't even seem to want Riley to jerk him off; he just brings in Louboutin stilettos, gets her to walk on his back with her hands in them, and then lets her keep the shoes. Not a bad deal, all things considered.
And in last night's episode, we learned that Riley isn't just a prostitute: she's tantamount to a social worker. When client Tom (Sterling Sulieman) starts exhibiting signs of PTSD, Riley defuses the potentially violent situation, and gets Tom to open up to her about his private pain. Riley not only relieves his tension, hand-to-penis-style; she also calls in experts, connecting Tom with the VA's PTSD outreach officers, who meet Tom at The Rub. Meanwhile, Riley looks after her injured mother (Cybill Shepherd), handles her son's sales for a wrapping-paper fundraiser, and calls in a favour to get her boyfriend Evan (Colin Egglesfield) into the police academy. Sheryl Sandberg says women can't have it all? She's obviously never met Riley!
Between its idealized notions of sexual politics (believe it or not, Riley dares to look down on the colleague who gives clients blowjobs) and the clunkiness of its dialogue, The Client List could be written by sixth-graders. But Hewitt is committed to the material, the involvement of Cybill Shepherd cements its camp value, and its unintentional comedy offers unexpected pleasures. Please get into it so that I have someone to talk to about how absurd it is.