Christmas With The Crank

I've previously opined that The Fosters would be no different overall if Jesus and Mariana were excised from the show, and the fact that their plotline in this week's very special episode has zero to do with any other character kind of re-proves my point. It is, however, classic Christmas special.

So the homeowners' association has an annual Christmas decoration contest with a cash prize; you decorate and then put a sign out front, and on Christmas day the judges come by and review the houses that are marked. And Jesus suddenly has a wild hair about winning it, so much that he'll blow right past the fact that he has no talent for arts and crafts and put all his energy into winning it. Sorry, sports and sexting, you're both on hold!

After enlisting the (relatively) artistic Mariana in the project, the two immediately run afoul of Mr. Nesbit, one of their neighbours. This old bastard wins points with this viewer by asking Mariana to retrieve her brother: "The pretty one, with the unibrow!" Mr. Nesbit has had one of his inflatables slashed, and he's sure Jesus is behind it; since Jesus is a johnny-come-lately to the decoration contest, Mr. Nesbit blames him for the heretofore-unknown phenomenon of vandalism, expositing along the way that Mr. Nesbit ALWAYS wins it. He adds that he intends to sleep outside and guard his display with a baseball bat lest Jesus get any ideas about hobbling his competition. I mean, more than the ravages of time already have.

Equally worried for his own display, Jesus also sleeps outside, which is how he's able to race to the scene and come to Mr. Nesbit's aid when a carful of ruffians show up to grinch up Mr. Nesbit's house. In the aftermath, as the two battle-tested decorators share a moment over hot chocolate, Mr. Nesbit a little too neatly encapsulates the attitude creators of diverse-cast shows like this hope viewers will arrive at organically: "You know, in my day, families all had a mom and a dad. Everybody all looked the same! And if you had an adopted kid, it was like a secret -- you didn't tell anyone. You know, it didn't matter how you all came together. It's-- It's just nice to have a big family." Then he flips a switch and gets maudlin: "Especially around the holidays." Jesus politely asks about Mr. Nesbit's family, and he replies that he has three grown children who live in other parts of the country. Since Mrs. Nesbit's death, the kids don't come back to San Diego much anymore, because they have kids of their own and want to stay home for Christmas. Jesus suggests that Mr. Nesbit could go visit one of them, and Mr. Nesbit admits that they do invite him: "But I want to be home, too. Anyway, I've got the contest, and I hate to break my winning streak. Although I think I've got some competition this year!" Jesus politely reciprocates the compliment, and the two part...and then Jesus makes a decision about his own.

What's that? Mr. Nesbit is now effectively running unopposed in the contest? Funny how that worked out for him right at the last minute!