Nothing Tests A Friendship Like Trumped-Up Drug Charges

Now, Where Were We?

Eli suggests to Alicia that she should run for State's Attorney! She laughs him off! He wants to poll her name and see what her chances might be! "I'm never saying yes" are her famous last words maybe! Anyway, she has bigger problems: Cary is still being snitty about the possibility of Diane joining Florrick Agos and, in his words, co-opting them! Alicia firmly says they can just have breakfast with Diane and discuss it later! Quit being such a whiny bitch, Cary!

Cary moves on to the next woman he's supposed to annoy with a phone call tonight: Kalinda! He wants to talk! She "reluctantly" agrees to submit to a drink with him, and tells him where she is!

But before he can get there, he's getting two guns pointed at his head! He's getting arrested! And John Ventimiglia's taking his wallet! Great, now when he gets to that bar Kalinda's going to have to pay! AWKWARD!

Back at the bar, an apparently stood-up Kalinda gets a call from her old "friend" (sex friend) Sophia! She's just wrapped up a big case and wants to "celebrate" with Kalinda! Kalinda puts her off, saying she's waiting for someone! Sophia, unfazed, shrugs, "I'll take you both on!" Kalinda's like a total prude all of a sudden and declines, but when she calls Cary and he doesn't pick up, she changes her mind and calls Sophia back! FOR SEX!

At the cop shop, Cary whines about all the rights he's not getting to exercise, but the arresting detective (that would be Ventimiglia's guy) is over Cary, telling him how annoying lawyers are when they get arrested because they think they're at the Four Seasons! "This is harassment!" Cary yips. "No, it's worse," says the detective. "It's inefficiency!" (Translation: quit being such a whiny bitch, Cary!)

Alicia and Diane stare at Cary's empty seat at breakfast for a while and then just start without him: Diane will be able to bring a few dozen clients with her; she won't tell anyone at Lockhart Gardner Canning that she's leaving; and she wants to bring Kalinda! Alicia sticks up for Robin even though we ALL KNOW Kalinda is better, and Diane doesn't make a stink -- she just agrees to let Alicia discuss that particular requirement with Cary and let her know by the end of the day! SOMETHING TELLS ME IT'S GOING TO TAKE A BIT LONGER! Diane also expects an equal vote with Alicia and Cary! And if they can come to terms, she reminds Alicia that they could turn Florrick Agos Lockhart into "the largest firm in the country run by women"! And Cary! (Maybe!)

The stoner Cary's shackled to -- oh hi, Jonathan Coulton! -- says that while Cary was sleeping, he heard what Cary's been arrested for: "Drugs"! And as Cary continues moving through the system, from paddy wagon to county lockup, you're not going to believe this but Cary's day does NOT improve!

Alicia takes a break from leaving furious voicemails on Cary's phone to look out the window, see his car still in the parking lot, and wonder if maybe something's wrong!

Cary spots a Lockhart Gardner client milling around in the holding pen and offers him $100 to mention Cary's name to whomever shows up from the firm!

This idiot thinks he may have met a lawyer named "Vargas" in lockup, but then manages to come up with "Cary"!

Kalinda calls Alicia, Alicia calls Finn, and finally everyone hooks up at bond court! Finn's the ASA on Cary's case! Finn and Alicia are flirty about opposing each other on it! Cary tells Alicia he can't imagine what the charge is since he hasn't used drugs since he did mushrooms four years ago! Alicia says she's got $500 from the partners so they're all set!

BUT WHOOOOOOOPS CARY'S BEING CHARGED WITH A SUPER X FELONY and since he apparently transported a whole bunch of heroin, his bail's going to be a lot more than $500!!!

Bishop To Pawn

After the commercial, we get more detail on how Finn has arrived at his bail amount: Cary is being charged with transporting 900 grams of heroin on March 25, and the bail amount is commensurate with the street value of the controlled substance he moved. Alicia tries to lower it on the usual grounds -- ties to the community, no flight risk -- plus a new one, which is that since Cary is a former ASA, he could face retribution from fellow inmates while he's incarcerated. None of this works, and as Alicia is on her way out to try to raise this much money from the partners and anyone else who has access to cash, she stops to ask Cary if he was with Lemond Bishop on March 25 and maybe talked to him about...um, 900 grams of heroin?

Transporting 900 grams of heroin = $1.3 million bail

Eli's Greek Israeli Chorus

Elimily's List

Alert Type: Florrick Campaign Alert.

Issue: Eli still wants Alicia to run for State's Attorney against Castro.

Complicating Factors: In addition to Alicia's unequivocal rejection of the idea, Peter's against it too; apparently Jackie overheard Eli suggesting it to Alicia and reported back to her son.

Resolution: Eli engages a consultant, Bonita Yarrow, to poll on Alicia; when he finds out she is projected to beat Castro by eight points (and that the margin of error is only three), he has to start working his angles: he warns Peter that he needs a friendly face in the State's Attorney's office because he won't survive another sex scandal -- which seems imminent given that Commando Intern Lauren confirmed everyone's suspicions by flashing Marissa in the middle of the office when Marissa (pretty awesomely) just flat-out asked her about her gitch sitch; Eli then manipulates Peter and Castro into having another meeting that each thinks the other wanted.

Spoiler: Peter and Castro are probably not going to be great at being conciliatory to each other.

Friends In Low Places

Who called the meeting? Kalinda.

What's it about? That whole thing where Cary is in jail with virtually no chance of getting out.

How'd it go? Pretty well, because Kalinda's the best. She breaks the tension by opening with "You stood me up," and despite everything, Cary can't help laughing. She swiftly moves on to the charge, and asks what Cary was doing on the day in question. "You working this?" he asks. "You want me working this?" she replies. Duh, of course he does, ANY OF US WOULD. Cary recalls that Florrick Agos was worried about losing clients, so he went over to Bishop's to make sure he was happy with his representation. There were three crew members in the kitchen, but Cary didn't talk to them and doesn't remember their names; he does recall that one had a silver top grill. Anyway, he definitely didn't tell them anything about how to prevent a load of drugs from being found by any authorities. After Kalinda notes the number a guard has just Sharpied on Cary's arm, Cary asks if she has any parting advice. She does: "Find a friend."

You've Got A Friend In Me (In Lockup)

Not Sure Who Should Be More Afraid Of Whom, TBH

"This Might Make Our Next Lunch Kind Of Awkward, But..."

Here's a test of the budding flirtation between Finn and Alicia: when they meet back up in bond court for what she thinks is going to be her arguing a motion for Cary's bail to be reduced, Finn has a motion of his own: to have Alicia disqualified as Cary's lawyer. Since Lemond Bishop is implicated in Cary's charge and Alicia represents him too, this is a conflict (and the judge is like, yeah, not cool). As the hearing breaks up, Alicia decides to make things more uncomfortable by asking if Finn's zealous prosecution is about Finn's sister's overdose, and Finn's like, I can't try to go after the biggest drug dealer in the city without having a personal connection to a victim of the drug trade? Alicia's like...yeah, okay, my bad, and puts out her hand to shake? And he shakes it? I mean, I get that opposing counsel can be very collegial even when they're working against each other, but are we to assume that he let a question that shitty go by because he wants to bone Alicia more than he wants his sister's memory not to be trotted out to make a point?

When Is A Booty Call NOT A Booty Call?

Who called the meeting? Kalinda.

What's it about? The timing of Sophia's call to Kalinda on the night Cary was arrested.

How'd it go? Sophia admits pretty readily that she knew Cary was going to get picked up and didn't want Kalinda anywhere near him out of fear Kalinda would be implicated, but when Kalinda tries to blackmail Sophia into telling her the name of the CI in Bishop's crew whose information led to Cary's arrest by threatening to tell Sophia's boss how Sophia distracted Kalinda that night, Sophia doesn't really seem that concerned. A rare non-complete victory for Kalinda!

"After All We've Been Through Together?!"

Cary's friend Kahlil runs into Cary in some kind of common area and happily reports that he passed on to his public defender the legal advice Cary had given him. Hey, everyone's happy! Maybe this is going to be a nice day in lockup after all! Except, whoops, Kahlil's a Bishop soldier, and he's been sent to cut off Cary's finger on Bishop's behalf as a reminder that Cary shouldn't try to get cute and tell anyone anything that might get Bishop arrested. However, because Cary gave him that good advice, Kahlil's willing to let him off with just a deep slash across the middle of his palm. "Great"?

Breaking Even With Dad

Situation: Alicia and Cary's new lawyer, Diane, visit Cary in jail to give him a status update.

What makes it awkward? They already had to give him the bad news that they haven't quite raised the whole amount of his bail. Then he suggests asking his dad for it, and Alicia has to be like, I totes will, good idea!, as though she hasn't already done that and been told that he's only willing to kick in $8000. (I mean, Robin put in $25,000 of her own savings, for Christ's sake.)

How is order restored? It's not, although one could say that Cary has learned the order of his current predicament when Diane and Alicia ask about the wound to his hand and he sticks with the lie that he fell on the bars or something, so at least he may get out of this with all of his fingers intact.

Alicia gets in to the office to see that Bishop has popped in for a chat about his business holdings -- coincidentally, at the very same time as Dexter Roja, the owner of several dry cleaners and health clubs! He wants to pay Cary's bail and has brought in $1.5 million in cash in a gym bag, as you do! Robin tells him it's only $1.3 million, so he removes a few bundles and peaces out! Bishop stops by Alicia's desk to be like, what a crazy coincidence, but hey, good for Cary, right? Alicia does not look thrilled, but on the other hand, this way she doesn't have to take out a second mortgage on her condo!

The meeting Eli arranged for Peter and Castro to make nice to each other ends in screaming on both sides! When Peter emerges, he is less opposed than he used to be to the idea of Alicia running against Castro for State's Attorney! Eli is good at his job!

Louis and David Lee, having seen Alicia meet with Diane and figured out that Diane doesn't REALLY intend to retire quietly to spend more time with her new husband, like she'd told them (though if that HAD been her intention, no one would blame her), have started the process of turning Diane's clients against her! They inform this old white couple that Diane is going to Florrick Agos, an "outlaw firm" that has just had one of its name partners arrested on drug charges! Classic scumbag move from a couple of scumbags, though to be fair, Diane did start it!

Kalinda has brought Sophia to the Lockhart Gardner Canning conference room to repeat her threat! But Sophia has new information to offer: though she still won't identify the CI, she will say that there's a recording of Cary giving the shady advice he's been charged over!

Robin giddily hands the bond judge the cashier's cheque for Cary's bail, but whoops, Castro shows up to make things a little more complicated! On his orders, Finn asks for a source-of-funds hearing to prove that Cary's bail hasn't been paid with drug money! Cary then has to ask Alicia if it IS Bishop's money, and she has to admit, like, kind of?

Later, Cary is being marched back to his dank, urine-soaked hellhole when he sees Sophia and Kalinda in close conversation on the citizens' side of the hallway! He tries to get Kalinda's attention but gets bullied back into his place by the mean guard! Jail sure seems like NO FUN!