Will High Risks Pay Off With Huge Rewards On The Good Wife?

Alicia and Jason are fooling around like whoa, you guys. LIKE WHOA. We open on them clearly post-coital, watching Roar on TV. Alicia can't believe the insanity she's watching, Jason chucklingly confirming that it was a complete shitshow: "There was like seventy injuries during the making of this. That's Melanie Griffith right there; she had to get fifty stitches." Alicia is disgusted, calling it a snuff film and Jason "weird"...though it's hard not to notice that she doesn't actually stop watching. Everyone likes to see Melanie Griffith get all to' up, I guess!

And then it's a montage of Jason and Alicia alternately fucking and chatting -- in the shower, near a book. They actually manage to cover some real topics on what they've apparently previously agreed will be a period of total honesty: she asks why he was investigating her, and he points out that she was a new boss who'd just stolen an election, so he wanted to be sure she was going to pay him. When she later asks about previous incidents when Jason had been screwed over, he mentions a friends who'd borrowed a lot of money and never paid it back. Alicia tells him she thought he was going to tell her about a stolen intercourse friend, he says he's only had those kinds of problems with money: "Never been screwed over in love." I mean. Duh. Fucking look at him. And then it's time for a snack!

Over pizza -- which, it seems, is not geographically accurate -- Jason has a good question for Alicia: "So what's up with your husband?" "My husband?" asks Alicia. "What do you mean?" Look, I know she's been checked out of this "marriage" for a while, but good lord. Jason asks if Peter wouldn't be bothered by their eating pizza in their underwear, and Alicia's like, maybe, idk, who cares: "We have an arrangement....He needs me for his career, I need him for mine." Jason:

Alicia notices this face and laughs at what he's not saying. Jason:

Alicia brags that she can read his nonverbal signs now -- uh, neither of those was especially opaque, lady -- and climbs into his lap as she orders, "Use your words, big man."

I guess his words were "Round 20?" because when we next see them, Jason and Alicia are writhing around fully covered by a sheet -- you know, the way all we adults have sex in our day-to-day lives, totally normal. But soon they're interrupted by the doorbell, followed immediately afterward by Veronica yelling through the door. Alicia realizes that she's not going to be able to avoid seeing her by playing possum, so she orders Jason to stay where he is and goes to deal with it...or so she thinks.

Immediately, Veronica is suspicious at the sight of Alicia clearly naked under her robe at 3 PM on a Sunday and not buying her claims of being so tired she's taking a naked nap -- we may be about to learn how credulous Veronica is in some areas, but she does have some street smarts OR SHOULD I SAY SHEET SMARTS -- but when Alicia tells her they're going to need to talk later, Veronica says they can't; Owen's on his way over now, in fact. And they have important matters to discuss, like that Veronica's going to be dead someday

What's the issue? "I was Madoffed!" Once Veronica's successfully gained ingress and Alicia's dodged her questions about what she's hiding, Veronica explains that she met a financial advisor who told her he could double her money. Alicia is appalled that Veronica would fall for a line like that, but says she'll talk to someone at work about it. Does this get Veronica back out the door? On the contrary, she pushes past Alicia into her bedroom...

...where Jason is sitting in bed and the situation is, you know, pretty clear. Veronica and Jason introduce themselves and, to Alicia's horror, start chatting pleasantly about Jason's ethnic background and Veronica's fondness for Italian men's colouring, hee hee. The longer the conversation goes on, the more anxious Alicia gets about breaking it up...

...and then Owen's there! And he brought bagels! Once Alicia's pried Veronica out of her bedroom, she makes a beeline to Owen to start giving him the lowdown: "Alicia has taken a lover." Owen is VERY interested: "I wanna see!" Veronica's so into Jason that she's lost all interest in discussing the $100,000 she just lost to sketchy investments even though that's the ostensible reasons she's barged in on Alicia today. She hands Alicia a letter or something, off which Alicia dubiously reads the name of Veronica's new money manager: "'Gino Davidson'?" Veronica accuses her of being racist (which, even though Alicia turns out not to be wrong about him, that reaction kind of is) (that said, a con artist should maaaaaaybe do business under a more generic white-bread name if he wants to make himself harder to track down)...

...and then Owen notices Jason trying to slip out and calls him in for a bagel, and it seems like if Jason were interested in making his way through the whole Cavanaugh/Loy clan, he totally could, as Veronica and Owen both urge him to stay and tell them all about himself...

...and then the doorbell rings again and it's Eli and Mike and Tom, who want to talk about the grand jury! They think it's important that Alicia be seen supporting Peter by the jurors on their way in and out. This is the first Alicia has ever heard about Mike Tascioni, though it seems that his connection to Elsbeth endears him to her already, so realizing that she's not going to be able to evade this one, she invites them in, telling them there are bagels. Mike: "Really! Tom loves bagels!" Please let someone put one around Tom's neck so it looks like he just won the Preakness!

Back in the kitchen, Mike Tascionily asks why none of the assembled is at church. Jason says he goes to church on Sunday nights -- he's Greek Orthodox. It's not clear whether this is true or a bit, but Veronica comments that this must come as a surprise to Alicia, known atheist, but they can't really get into that because...

...the doorbell rings again! Alicia is served! "C'mon in, we've got bagels!" yells Veronica. "Okay!" calls the process server, heading on in. Good thing Owen bought so many so the process server doesn't have to split one with Tom!

Don't Start Believing Witnesses Claiming Peter's Innocence

What Goes On In That Pretty Little Head Of Yours?

Alert Type: Predatory Day Trader Alert.

Issue: As we already heard: though Alicia had set up Veronica with David Lee so that he could manage her money and invest it for her, she went rogue after meeting a smooth-talking financial advisor-cum-spin instructor, and it hasn't gone well for her.

Complicating Factors: David Lee wants to put Jason on the case, and when Alicia hears this, she has to urge Veronica and Owen not to say anything about their having seen Jason at Alicia's that weekend. Owen has no problem being discreet. Veronica's like, "No problem. HEY JASON." Then, when Jason goes to meet with Gino, it seems like Veronica actually doesn't have any recourse because Gino warned Veronica, when she signed up with him, that the investment (in riverboat casinos -- good lord, Veronica) was potentially very risky; he's lost a bunch of money himself!

Resolution: Jason is delivering the bad news about Veronica's lost capital when Owen mentions an earlier incident in which she was tricked into giving a grifter Owen's Social Security number. (Friends: tell your grandmas that when they get a Facebook message from you all about how you got robbed overseas, it's not real.) This leads Jason to suspect that Veronica got herself on the "suckers list," which con artists share among themselves to find likely marks, so he sends Veronica and Owen back to Gino's apartment to hint around about the other $90,000 Veronica hasn't invested yet and see if he bites -- which he does. And Owen records the whole thing on his phone!

Spoiler: Jason's pretty good at his job.

The Handicapped Bathroom Of Auditory Espionage

At the federal building where the grand jury's been convened, Alicia's directed away from a ladies' room that's being cleaned to a unisex handicapped restroom down the hall, where, when she gets off the phone, she notices that she can hear, through an amazingly conductive vent, Ruth's testimony. (Eli seems especially nervous about her having been called, since he doesn't even know what she could say about Peter that would damage him, but he's pretty sure she knows some serious shit.) Anyway, realizing what she's just uncovered, Alicia manages to hold it and hurries back out to the hall to hiss the situation to Eli: "I'm a lawyer. And Mike is a lawyer. I can't get too involved in...this." She drags him into the bathroom and points to the vent: "I can't say anything; I'm a lawyer, and I've been subpoenaed....You found this on your own. It's not illegal for you to listen. It is illegal for me."

Thus it is that Eli overturns a wastepaper basket and parks it under the vent -- and between this and his eavesdropping on the vent in the tiny office he was consigned to after Ruth was hired, MAYBE LET'S HAVE A NEW IDEA OR TWO AS THE SERIES WRAPS, KINGS -- which is how he hears mention of a donor named Lloyd Garber, and something about "V-Lock" that went down in 2012. No one knows what the latter is, but Mike guesses it could be part of the name of a legal case -- Something v. Locke -- and wouldn't you know it, he's right! Again, Eli doesn't know what that is, but he's pretty sure it's not great for his guy!

Sisters Are Litigating It For Themselves

Who called the meeting? Diane.

What's it about? Their future working together! Without Cary!

How'd it go? For the past couple of episodes, David and Cary have been concerned about the possibility that Diane's looking to remake Lockhart Agos Lee as an all-female firm, and apparently they have not been paranoid, like, at all, as Diane feels out Alicia about her ambitions, and her willingness to join forces with Diane. It's not unreasonable that she'd want to check in like this, since Diane and Alicia's relationship for the past while has been...tumultuous? But Diane's been working with Cary as a fellow name partner for a while, and though he's learned a lot and she respects him, he's no Will. Alicia points out that he doesn't claim to be, and Diane says that Alicia doesn't either, but that she fills Will's shoes a lot better. Diane wants to work with someone she respects -- someone she thinks could possible "outrace" her. But Cary's not that person, and anyone who's not is potentially holding them back. She's proposing that she and Alicia work together. "To push Cary out," Alicia surmises. "To buy him out, eventually," Diane semi-confirms. It's not a takeover: it's a way for them to sharpen the firm's advantage. She notes that there's already a "winnowing" underway in Chicago law firms -- and she's right; ever since LAL absorbed Alicia and Lucca, there's only one firm left in the city!!! -- so they need to be more relevant, and an all-female-name-partner firm will help them get there. At this point, Alicia doesn't look too certain...

...but she's also not an idiot, and likes money.

Eli storms into Cary's office to demand who Richard Locke is! Cary was the prosecutor on the case! Cary replies that he was on the team and rode the bench, so he doesn't remember that well; the kid was accused of murdering his girlfriend's ex, and the case ended in a mistrial. When Eli pushes him to remember if there was anything unusual about the case, Cary remembers that the defendant was working-class, and yet had a sick defense team; the theory at the time was that his father might be "someone who mattered"! Eli is about to ask a follow-up, but then remembers that if this is an issue, both he and Cary will definitely be called to testify about it, so maybe he'd better just cheese it instead! AND CHEESE IT HE DOES!

Jason returns to Gino's place and plays him the recording Owen made, in which Gino fraudulently promises Veronica a "14% return" on the totally secure, government-backed investment he wants to hook her up with! Gino says that Illinois requires two-party consent for recordings and that this one therefore won't hold up in court, but Jason glares that he doesn't plan to use it in court! Gino asks how he does intend to use it, then, and Jason says that depends on where Veronica's money is! (Riverboat casinos...I'm going to go ahead and guess Mississippi?)

And then Alicia's briefing Lucca on her meeting with Diane, seeming like she's kind of into it now! She explains that some potential clients will be attracted to an all-female firm: "Some people think they know what they're buying into with a female lawyer -- softer, more hand-holding." Lucca smiles at the ridiculousness of that notion, and Alicia's like, I know, but seriously. Lucca asks if this deal would result in their getting paid more, and Alicia's like, I will! But Lucca "probably would too." "I like Cary," says Lucca. "I like Cary too!" says Alicia, protesting-too-muchingly. Lucca can tell had a "but" in her throat, to which Alicia explains, "Before I left here, Jason wanted me to be name partner." Lucca's like, "Jason?!" and pulls Alicia up short, since she didn't even notice her slip. After some high schoolish "SO YOU AND JASON, HUH???," Alicia asks Lucca what she thinks she should do. "Tell Cary," says Lucca firmly. "Really?" Alicia asks. "Really," says Lucca. Alicia doesn't seem that psyched about THIS part of enacting Diane's plan, so she says she's turning off her brain and going home, declining a drink because she's "too tired"...

...but not too tired to watch Roar again? This is some upsetting foreplay, you guys. Crawling into bed, Alicia thanks Jason for his help with Veronica...which of course is when the doorbell rings again, and of course it's Veronica. While Alicia ponders letting her dangle, Veronica yells through the door that she's there to thank Jason for getting her money back -- presumably with even more bagels?

Gee, show, I'M NOT SURE I GET IT! Maybe put Eli next door with his ear pressed to the vent and he could explain it to me!!!