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The Definitive Collection Of The Best Late Night Responses To The Last Night Of The Republican National Convention
Yes, Elizabeth Warren's in there, to remind you to thank your deity she exists.
If you don't follow me on Twitter, you missed an increasingly unhinged live-tweet of Donald Trump's acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. ("I wouldn't say I 'missed' it." - You.) In my defense, I feel my level of insanity was commensurate with the terrifying nonsense the GOP presidential candidate was vomiting upon us all, though I admit that my in-the-moment responses weren't always the wittiest, which is why we're all lucky the late night shows are staffed by people who have to be funny for a living -- and in the way Trump himself especially appreciates: fast. Here, in no particular order, is my collection of the most important clips.
1. Trevor Noah, The Daily Show
"Nothing says 'humble' like turning the stage gold and having your name in 9000-point font. Even the Goodyear Blimp is like, 'Jesus, we get it!'"
2. Jon Stewart, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
"The Republicans appear to have a very clear plan for America; they articulated it throughout the convention. One, jail your political opponent. Two, inject Rudy Giuliani with a speedball and a Red Bull enema. And then three, spend the rest of the time scaring the holy bejeezus out of everybody."
3. Seth Meyers with A Closer Look, Late Night With Seth Meyers
"Trump talked about America like he was pitching a post-apocalyptic show to the Syfy network. 'Buildings you recognize, but there are vines on them. There's a deer inside an office building. Lizard people living in burned-out shopping malls.'"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8rVfTAwi_M
4. Elizabeth Warren, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
"Every time you kind of scratch the surface a little bit and see what Donald Trump's actually talking about, what he's really talking about is what he's talked about his entire life, and that is how to improve the world for Donald Trump."
5. Seth Meyers with Ya Burnt, Late Night With Seth Meyers
"And enough with the applause breaks! If you guys didn't give a five-minute standing ovation every time somebody mentioned America, I could have started my show on time!"