Careless Whiskers On The Moustache Ride

Legitimately Impressive Credential

Our first contender, InnerSpin, is a relatively new agency, but its office features a giant Walgreens poster, which is a pretty big get.

Insufferable Executive

John Meyer of Innerspin uses so many grooming products that he keeps them not in a dopp kit, but in a duffelbag; when he and his partner Elcid Roi try to get into the right headspace for the pitch by getting manicures together, he lets Elcid go on and on about how foreign every step of the process is because Elcid's never done it before, and then tells the camera that he knows this isn't Elcid's first manicure. But I thought you guys were so close that you golf and drink and work out together! Why would you sell out your bro like that? Oh yeah, he also has a wacky belt buckle collection and doesn't carry pens.

Self-Consciously Quirky Office

"We like to think of ourselves as a little bit off-center at MC²," says agency founder Ron McMillan. VP of Strategy Lexie Ruh agrees that the atmosphere is like a variety show. "Four o'clock rolls around," says Talia DiDomenica, Marketing Manager, "and rubber chickens are flying through the air." What a bunch of irrepressibly creative kooks!

The Fear?

Though Ron has been in business for over twenty years, at some point in the recent past, Ron lost "a couple million" of investors' money (we never hear exactly what happened). He had to lay off a bunch of people, and apparently converted his apartment into a full office while still living there. At least, that's what I surmise happened, because it appears to be in a hotel and common areas are full of what appear to be home furnishings, but everyone says that Ron "lives at the office," so maybe it was the other way around? The point is: Ron lost either his home or his office. Either way, he needs this.

What The Client Says It Wants

Spa chain/beauty brand Bliss has come out with a new facial hair depilatory called (like all its other punny products) "Fuzz" Off. They want InnerSpin and MC² to come back with a print ad that communicates a big idea; beyond that, where the idea should go in terms of digital, TV, or outdoor advertising is up to the agencies -- whatever they think will be most effective.

Cringily Unearned Moment Of Self-Congratulation

Lexie comes up with the actual best slogan of the whole episode with "Don't Fixate, Fix It": it's short, it's grabby, it's clever, it communicates both the embarrassment of unwanted hair and the easy solution that the product presents, and the wordplay is on brand for Bliss. (See also: That's Incredi-Peel, Thinny Chin Chin, No Zit Sherlock, etc.) Ron then decides to muddy the waters by coming up with a "1 2 3" idea. The product works in one step, and it only takes three minutes, but do they have something for two? One of Ron's staffers suggests "two swipes." GASP!

The...Uh, Pitch

InnerSpin -- who have figured out since their initial meeting that maybe they should bring a woman or two along to show that their office isn't a total sausage party -- show a big, blown-up magazine ad (above); it'll feature a moustache the consumer can peel off, thus releasing the pleasant scent of "Fuzz" Off. They also propose an iPad ad where "you can play with the moustache," as though anyone will ever do that, but whatever, the clients like it. Finally, they suggest sending street teams to "fun places" with moustache stickers that say "point. click. #fuzzyourself" on them. The idea is that women will see the moustache stickers on bathroom mirrors, figure out that they're supposed to position their faces such that they have the moustache on their lips, and tweet or Instagram their moustache photos? Fine, except -- as Bliss points out -- the hashtag isn't the actual product name. (Also, as I point out, the point of the product is to REMOVE your moustache.)

MC² present their print ad, which reduces the impact of "Don't Fixate, Fix It" by putting it in much smaller print, above the 1 2 3 crap, and using "Tell Facial Hair To 'Fuzz' Off" as the headline instead. They've barely gotten into the pitch before Bliss notes that if it's "1 step," why is it "2 swipes"? That sounds like two steps? It's clear that everyone from the agency knows that the 1 2 3 thing doesn't really work, but they barrel ahead. The big showcase for the pitch, though, is a "viral video" with a little song about the product, sung by ladies with blue paper moustaches on. The Bliss executives are pretty polite but dismissive, and end by asking...like, what is MC²'s big idea for "Fuzz" Off? One of the MC² ladies goes into this long explanation of how facial hair is embarrassing for women, even though almost all women have it, and the product addresses it. Is this her first day in advertising?

The Winner

Because MC² didn't get all the way behind "Don't Fixate, Fix It," and made their messaging (such as it was) so diffuse, InnerSpin books it. Sorry, Ron! Guess you'll be showering at the office for at least another month.