Goodnight To Jay Leno's Tonight

As I noted yesterday, Jay Leno has never really been my cup of Valvoline (because he likes cars, get it), but watching what may or may not be his very last night of hosting The Tonight Show, I thought, "Well, you would probably really like this if this is the kind of thing that you like."

It's the kind of thing you've been enjoying, probably. Back in the '90s, when Leno was still relatively new in the job, he jumped on the O.J. trial as a source of material, whereas Letterman was reticent on the topic for a long time based on the fact that, you know, two people were murdered. (He did drop his ethical objections eventually.) And while you'd think that 2014 would be kind of a late date still to be mining this subject area for jokes, right there, practically at the top of Leno's last monologue, there the acquitted double murderer was.

A package assembling advice from guests and well-wishers about what Leno should do next was intermittently amusing, maybe just if you choose to believe that Mark Wahlberg's exasperation was not a bit.

(And the swell of applause that greets the appearance of a spray-tanned Charlie Sheen tells you everything you need to know about Leno's audience.)

Leno's first guest of the night is Billy Crystal, who apparently was his first guest ever. (Did you know that? I didn't.) You might as well close the circle with the guy who's also one of your old-time standup cohorts, and it's not like Leno should use his very last show to let Kristen Stewart plug her next movie or something, but the two of them just seem like they're a thousand years old: I mean, Crystal's version of an O.J. joke is to describe the genesis of his Muhammad Ali impression.

Leno's closing remarks remind us of his loyalty and his blue-collar ethos.

The supposed reason he didn't leave NBC after Conan O'Brien took over The Tonight Show because he "didn't know anyone" at the other companies? ...What? Also, he has to call out the fact that it's a union show? What else would it be?

After all this time, I guess it's slightly unfair to compare Leno and Letterman, because even though the two have kind of the same job, they're doing such different things and have all along. But I will say this: I'm pretty sure that when the time comes (many years from now, I hope) for Letterman to deliver his last broadcast, Paul Shaffer will be there, and Kim Kardashian will not.