The Most Irritating Contestants Of Top Chef: Seattle: A Field Guide
Top Chef’s back for a tenth season, and this time around, Tom, Padma and the gang have relocated to the City Of Needles. Last night’s season premiere put the cheftestants in a do-or-die situation, in which our new batch of clog-wearing heroes were forced to impress the judges quickly in order to win a spot in the competition proper. More than showcasing the chefs’ culinary skills, Top Chef’s first hour gave us insight into their personalities. And who are this season’s Marcel Vignerons and Hung Hyunhs? Those maddeningly abrasive but impossible to forget contestants made up of unearned braggadocio, creative facial hair, and absurd foams? Here’s a look into the lovable irritants of Season 10.
John Tesar
Once dubbed the “Most Hated Chef in Dallas” by a local magazine, John Tesar has been set up by producers to be this season’s villain. And with good reason: John’s an arrogant, obnoxious ex-New York chef with a long list of industry professionals whom he’s alienated and a cocaine habit in his past. John seems proud of being the bad guy, which means he’s going to play up all of his detestable characteristics. Currently, John’s fifty-four years old and raising a twenty-month-old son, which not only speaks volumes about his decisionmaking skills but also indicates that he’s at a place in his career where he’s starting to feel like he’s reached his last shot at success and acclaim.
The first thing we hear out of John’s mouth is this humble gem: “Anthony Bourdain says I’m probably the best natural chef he’s ever worked with.” And that’s saying something, because Anthony Bourdain has been served seared ferret liver on a bed of poison ivy by a tenth-generation ranch cook in the Appalachian Mountains.
Carla Pellegrino
Brazilian-born Vegas transplant Carla Pellegrino wears impractical footwear, has had an alarming amount of plastic surgery, and proudly admits to being a “bitch.”
It appears as though Carla’s going to be the contestant who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, which will likely result in a ton of badmouthing of the other chefs as well as some choice bickering over immersion blenders. Carla also curses like a sailor, which means that every other word out of her impossibly pouty mouth is an annoying Bravo bleep.
Bart Vandaele
Bart is eight feet tall and an official Belgian knight! For real; he was knighted in the Order of Leopold in 2009, which means he was given a box of the very most gourmet kind of chocolate. It appears as though knighthood has gone to Bart’s head, as he immediately gets all haughty over the prospect that Hugh Acheson might not appreciate the masterfulness of his 95-ingredient salad.
Joshua Valentine
Blessed with ginger tresses and armed with a tin of mustache wax, Joshua has the season’s most absurd heap of facial hair. He gives off a vibe of being an overly-apologetic, neutered fellow who, deep down, is seething with an infernal rage. This means that Josh will probably not shut up once ever, both because he’s orally-expelling his insecurities, and because he’s trying to pull a tough-guy act to cover them up.
Kristen Kish
Kristen is a model. She won the Miss Model Boston contest, which means she was given a box of the very most gourmet kind of chocolate but was forbidden to eat it.
It’s possible that Kristen won’t talk about how she’s a model all the goddamn time.
It’s also very, very possible that she will.
Wolfgang Puck
Technically, Wolfgang Puck is not a contestant; he's a judge. Fine. But he's new to the show, and he has invited commentary straight from the start.
Here's a thing Puck said to the chefs, while at least one and probably several cameras were pointed at him: “The stove is like a woman: it never does what it’s supposed to do.”
He is the Todd Akin of the culinary world and promises to be insufferable.
And now for the least irritating contestants!
The two contestants who immediately come off as being the most likeable are Jeffrey Jew and Chrissy Camba. Jeffrey is a well-mannered, handsome kid out of D.C. who won over Emeril Lagasse with his delicious-looking cold gazpacho. And Chrissy’s a dry and funny Chicago gal who tepidly impressed Wolfgang Akin with her Filipino-inspired lobster omelet -- even though she happens to be a stove woman.