So then why are you single? Oh, man. 'Cause I'm a douchebag!
I'm kind of a Kramer-esque computer scientist, in a way? I do have a Bachelor's of Science degree, so obviously I'm a fairly smart guy.
So, tell me about why you're single! ...So do you maybe think that your standards are too high? No, I don't think so.
People ask me that often, and I'm like, 'Absolutely not. I feel like, if God made someone this awesome, he can make another one.'
I own a company that specializes in helping people with disabilities find employment. I would definitely do it for free if I didn't want to look as fabulous as I do.
My dating life is like my iPhone 5: I don't have one.
I don't think I'm high-maintenance, so if someone sees me and they think I'm high-maintenance, it's probably because they can't afford me.
I take care of myself. I have a routine every Saturday: I go shopping, go get my feet done, maybe go get a massage -- it's pretty much me, me, me, me, me, all the time. Most women these days, they expect for the man to do everything. I've done that before, and what did I get out of it? I'm not catering to a woman who doesn't have nothing to provide for me.
Rule #1. I've said it before. Don't be weird.
Say we totally, like, hit it off, get married, have kids, I get fat. Like, are you gonna be like, 'Kyle--' I put your ass in the gym.
I'm a health and fitness coach. I also dance and feature for the Chippendales, so I know how to shake it.
I take care of my body. I eat right, I train right, and I have a lot of sex, which is great cardio. I have been with many women in my life. It's definitely up in the thousands.
You know, I've had plenty of women. You know, I know what I want. Looks are number one, 'cause if you don't look good, I don't care about your personality.
I've cheated on between 90 and 99 percent of my girlfriends. Honestly, the only time I've felt in love was when the McRib-- when I first had the McRib.
Yes, I am high-maintenance, but I don't see why that should be an issue with dating!
In my opinion, an overgrown class clown is an assclown.
It's pretty clear you're Mr. Superficial. All I heard was 'Mr. Super.'
Rule #3. Don't act like you're easy. Right now, I know what every man in that room is thinking: 'Judy puts out.'
My whole life, I've just been trying desperately to get [my father's] approval.
Kris, do you feel that it would be difficult to get Judy into bed? Seems like, in the jacuzzi, give her a few drinks, you could probably scoot her up.
A man wants to feel like he did something no one else can do. I think you cheapen yourself.
Every one of these women has been cheated on. And look where they are today.