Being Psychically Linked To A Supernatural Egg Has A Downside?!

Do You Fucking Idiots Hear Yourselves Anymore? I'm Honestly Asking.

Two Soothsayers And A Barrel-Chested Blowhard

So even though ten minutes ago Big Jim saved Lyle from drowning in order to make Pauline happy and help create the conditions that might bring back her prophetic Domevisions, now that Lyle is alive and hanging around the school, Big Jim's had another one of his trademark changes of heart and is jealously seething in Lyle's direction because he still doesn't feel secure in his newly rekindled relationship with his presumed-dead wife. Normal stuff. Big Jim never told Pauline about the vision of Hell Lyle had (and I didn't mention it last week because THIS WHOLE EXISTENCE IS A VISION OF HELL), but anyway, Lyle goes along with whatever Pauline wants in order to bring about what he's seen, and Big Jim stares daggers at Lyle. Guys, I'm still not over the fact that all three of these people were (a) supposed to have been high-school seniors together (b) twenty-five years ago. You guys know that twenty years ago Sherry Stringfield was a DOCTOR on ER right? And twenty-five years ago Dwight Yoakam was thirty-two? Cool.

Wound From Rod Healed By Act Of God?

As Julia and Barbie bustle about her house packing up any important personal items in preparation for evacuating to the school, which conveniently happens to be in the centre of town, to get away from the contracting Dome, we see she has a bandage around the outside of her jeans so we don't forget she had a punctured artery last week, but apparently Rachelle Lefevre forgot because she is moving around without any apparent impediment! That cold snap killed all her nerves, I guess.

Science vs. Faith, Round 1,000,000-1,000,004

Big Jim confronts Rebecca and demands to know what's going on with the contracting Dome, like she should know, and she snaps at him that she's "still doing calculations" (and we can tell, because she's holding her Microsoft Surface™). Then she tells a just-arrived Barbie and Julia, "I figured out that at its present rate of stopping and starting, it won't be long before the Dome--" "Crushes us completely?" Julia finishes. First of all, "won't be long" is nice and precise, so thank god Rebecca did all that math she said she did! Second: Rebecca contends that the contraction will shove buildings and trees and shit up against the school and crush it before the Dome walls actually do, which leads a confident Julia to reply that she "just can't believe that," which leads us into a reprise of Rebecca, Science Avatar vs. Julia, Mystical Monarch. Rebecca is snotty about Julia's beliefs, even though Julia's direct experience of communing with the Dome has taught her as much about Dome Physics as ANYTHING ELSE. Anyway, Julia's like, can't we both be right, and Rebecca's like, NO. Who cares.

Winner: Dome.

"There's A Dead Girl In Town?!" (Part I)

This show is written by simpletons who can't figure out elegant ways to communicate salient plot points to latecomers (of which there are none), so in order to let any such people know that Melanie died in the '80s and came back looking exactly the same, they've decided to keep this information back from key characters who really should have found that out by now. But you know who somehow never managed to learn Melanie's backstory even though his recently returned estranged wife was her best friend and has been hanging around her a lot and if Big Jim attended a senior dance that was also attended by Pauline and Lyle when they were all in high school he presumably would have recognized her when he saw her EVER?! Big Jim.

"There's A Dead Girl In Town?!" (Part II)

This show is written by simpletons who can't figure out elegant ways to communicate salient plot points to latecomers (of which there are none), so in order to let any such people know that Melanie died in the '80s and came back looking exactly the same, they've decided to keep this information back from key characters who really should have found that out by now. But you know who somehow never managed to learn Melanie's backstory even though Melanie's been spending a lot of time with her old student Joe and also has been in the process of dying in the makeshift infirmary for the last episode and a half? Rebecca.

More Artsy, Less Fartsy

Alert Type: Prophetic Art Alert.

Issue: Since deciding that he's been Dome-nointed the Dome Chancellor or whatever the fuck, Big Jim has come to the conclusion that Pauline's return was fated and that they were reunited so that her visions could help him boss everyone around.

Complicating Factors: Whoops, Pauline's visions stopped when Big Jim threw the Egg into the chasm!

Resolution: Big Jim literally puts a brush in Pauline's hand to "encourage" her to start painting.

Spoiler: 1. Art interpretation is not an exact science. 2. Lyle has also been taking a crack at it going through Pauline's journal and come up with some conclusions of his own.e

Barbara vs. Barbara

So after seeing Melanie on the brink of death reminded him that she's his sister, and learning from Joe and Norrie that Hunter has been in league with Don this whole time (though Norrie tries to stick up for Hunter on the basis that he was drafted into service against his will, not that we have any reason to believe that's actually true), Barbie decides the time has come to play hardball. He takes his trusty gun and hides in the bushes as Hunter has his scheduled meetup with the Army guy, and after like ten seconds comes out, pulls a gun on Hunter, and demands that they bring Don Domeside. So they do and then Barbie and Don have a conversation through their more laconic proxies: Barbie informs Don that Melanie is alive in the Dome and that if Don doesn't bring the Egg back to the Dome (starting to think of these two objects as being in love like Donkey and the dragon from Shrek, tbh), both Don's kids are going to get Dome-crushed. Don doesn't believe Melanie is alive, but fortunately (a) Barbie knows Joe and Norrie tailed him there and calls them to come out, and (b) Joe's stupid vlog finally serves a purpose when he can use it to show Don footage of Melanie. Don is convinced! He will bring the Egg back to its lover or whatever! Just the promise alone is enough to make the Dome stop contracting, and to return Melanie to health (although if you ask Rebecca, she'll tell you it's the blood transfusion Rebecca herself gave her after typing her blood with lima beans that some hoarder somehow hoarded as IF ANYONE WOULD HOARD FUCKING LIMA BEANS).

Winner: Barbie.

Young Woman Yells At Dome

Julia -- who has remembered her leg hurts because NOW she's limping -- goes to the Dome, apologizes to it for all the shit the Chester's Millions have fucked up, and for some reason pleads for Melanie's life like Melanie is so fucking important and not just a typical annoying teenager? Anyway, Julia offers the Dome a deal: if it will spare Melanie, it can kill Julia instead! But when the Dome responds by immediately starting to contract (presumably due to Don's poor Egg handling), she then...starts running away from it? You JUST told the Dome you would sacrifice yourself to it and you're ALREADY backing out of the deal? Julia, you are the worst Monarch this town has ever had.

Pauline has finished a painting! She thinks it means that the way to cure Melanie is for the EIGHT hands -- four old, four new -- to work together!

But should we be concerned about this other canvas that's dripping blood? Probably nbd.

Rebecca mopes about Melanie's science-defying existence! Sam tells her to accept that there are things she may never understand! I guess now that a MAN has said it to her, Rebecca thinks it may have some validity!

Since Joe and Norrie can report that Don hasn't returned the Egg, there's nothing stopping them from joining in the Melanie-revival project!

Everyone goes to the crater, including Rebecca who's just along to observe! For science, I guess! Everyone lays hands on Melanie, but nothing happens until Rebecca remembers the scientific principle that objects can exist in more than one place at a time! She suggests that because Melanie is one of the old "four hands," and one of the new ones as well (I guess? Since Angie died?), then Sam should take one of Melanie's hands and Junior should take the other? SURE, WHY NOT?! For whatever reason (no reason), that works: Melanie wakes up and stands and she's totally fine until suddenly she's standing at the centre of a cyclone and a hole opens up under her and swallows her and then she's gone! Junior wants to jump in after her! Barbie stops him! WHY?!

As Pauline "indicates" her regret by holding her head by a tree, Big Jim approaches to tell her he thinks Melanie might still be alive -- and WHY WOULDN'T HE THINK THAT when LITERALLY ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE?! He doesn't blame her! Pauline is so grateful that when he says he loves her, she says she loves him too! They kiss!

But when they unclinch, Big Jim's mouth is covered in blood! Because somehow Big Jim didn't hear Lyle creeping through the forest so that he could bury a knife in Pauline's back! He wants to enter Heaven with Pauline, just like he thinks he saw in one of the sketches in her journal! That was Pauline's blood on the canvas apparently!

Big Jim attacks Lyle! Lyle laughs at him and dangles the knife temptingly! So of course Big Jim stabs him to death!

As an ovary warbles a bad indie cover of "Turn, Turn, Turn," everyone stares impotently at the hole like they're in Masters Of Sex!